thread: gotten into a really bad habit and not looking forward to the consequenses lol

  1. #1
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2008
    Over The Rainbow
    1,142

    Question gotten into a really bad habit and not looking forward to the consequenses lol

    DD who is 10 months will not sleep in her cot...at all!!!

    its totally my fault, i feel terrible, ever since i hurt my back the easiest thing for me has been to just lie down with her and she'll go to sleep(sometimes having to bf feed her to sleep to)
    , she'll go to sleep in the pram or anywhere else really easy, i mean i took her to the beach for a swim and she fell asleep in my arms in the water lol

    but every time i put her in there she screams down the place hysterically! i need help i need to get her in a routine where she will go to sleep without me having to lay down with her. i feel like ive dug myself into such a big hole.. its just so hard as she shares a room with me untill we find a place to move into..
    i find i just have no time to myslef..

    does anyone have any ideas on how i should go about this

    im having a really terrible day sorry if this is all over the place

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Add Shades on Facebook

    May 2008
    Capalaba, QLD
    1,243

    No help to offer sorry, I'm just sympathetic that you consider this such an awful thing and I hope you find a solution that suits you soon!

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Nov 2006
    brisbane
    3,975

    What about gently easing her into it...like let her fall asleep wiht you then move her inot her cot? It may take a little while but it can be done gently and wiht not much fuss. Also let her play in her cot quietly so she isnt scared of it.
    If she wakes up during the night just get her back to sleep and then transfer her....is the cot i your room? if not maybe get a matress for her to sleep on?

    Good luck xxx

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Sep 2005
    In the middle of nowhere
    9,362

    No ideas sorry mate, just .
    My DS is the same. He does not do the cot at all, so he has his sleeps on our bed (nursed to sleep by moi) and same at night. I'm going to put him straight onto a mattress on the floor when I get my finger out and completely disregard the cot.
    FWIW I wouldn't like to be shut in there either.

  5. #5

    Jul 2009
    Out North, Vic
    8,538

    Oh hun.. a girl from my MG was exactly the same.. she lives at home with her mum, bro & sis and her lil man shares a room with her and was in her bed basically from birth til 10mths.

    In the end she went to sleep school as she wasn't getting the rest she needed and it was so hard for her to settle him, he now has his sleeps in his cot but he does wake during the night as he knows she's there.

    She has a curtain up in the room b/w the cot and her bed so he can't SEE her, is a curtain or a screen an option for you?

    Otherwise i agree, slowly make the change, let her fall asleep there but then transfer her into the cot.
    Maybe try making a new bedtime routine, something fun for her... maybe bath, feed, reading time, cuddle then bed while she's nice and full and relaxed?

    Prob no help at all.... good luck though.

  6. #6
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
    11,633

    Ok. I understand you need some rest and a break, fair enough, but be fair to yourself here, there's no big hole that you've dug yourself, no big mistake that you've made. this is just what's been working best for you guys. That's all.

    Can you put a mattress on the floor next to your bed? Or, if you both slept on the floor, she could fall asleep next to you, then you can slide her over away from you so you have some space and she starts to get used to not being right next to you. My DS would not sleep in his cot and we gave it up altogether from around 9-10 months. It just wasn't worth the drama and he's slept on a mattress on the floor since then. When he's having bad nights he needs mum or dad with him still, but otherwise he'll sleep alone.

    Good luck. Hope you get some more rest soon.

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Dec 2008
    1,431

    Huge hunni! Firstly, you haven't created a bad habit, you've done what you needed to do to survive! Now that you're ready & feel like its a problem for you, your DD is going to need to be taught new habits and ways of falling asleep. Fantastic! You've taught her to feel safe and loved perfectly so far, so I imagine you'll manage the next step.

    Can you wait until you have your own place? Is that too far away for you? I'm just thinking that all the changes at once might be easier than changing while she's still in your room and can hear you, wondering why she's not with you. "Hey mum, come & get me, noooow! I know you're there...I can hear you breathing!" vs "Hmmmm, my own room, excellent, no snoring mum! Lots of new things to check out."

    I had DD in with us until 8 months and before that, even though her cot was in our room, there was no way she was sleeping in it at night. In fact you can even see my post about this: https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...p-her-cot.html

    DD is now in her own room and sleeps perfectly (as perfectly as babies can!) so there is hope.

    HTH xox

  8. #8
    Registered User

    May 2008
    where the V8's roar
    1,855

    My DS was exactly the same, in fact he had never slept in a cot at 10 mnths. The only thing that worked was going to sleep school at about 10 mnths and to be honest if I wasn't going back to work I would never have done it.

    I was there for 4 nights and at the end when we came home he would at least go to sleep in the cot but now without a lot of crying/grizzling (debateable as to if it was grizzling as opposed to crying if you know what I mean and it would not be uncommon for him to do this for 20 - 40 mins - seriously did my head in ) this would be for his day sleep and he was still waking once or twice a night going through the same process. In the end as it was keeping dp awake and he needed to sleep to work (I suspect you don't let DD cry as it will wake the rest of your family) I would put DS to sleep in his cot at night and when he woke after 12amish I would sleep with him in the king single bed until morning.

    It wasn't until he dropped to 1 day sleep at 14 mnths that the whole sleep thing become less stressful cause he was then really tired and really ready for bed but I wouldn't recommend at 10mnths dropping to 1 sleep just yet.

    I then droped the midnight feed when DS was about 18 mnths and that was still about a week of crying with just water and cuddles. Now he still wakes at 12 am but goes back to sleep with a cuddle and he might wake about 3 am for a feed but almost always feeds from dawn until we get up between 7am and 8am a couple of times but as I co-sleep I don't notice soo much.

    On those tough days it was really tough but I found that when I tried to make him sleep I stressed a lot more then when I just went with the flow. Giant as I remember how hard it is

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Sep 2009
    Brisbane
    68

    Hey Butterfly Child, you're in the same spot as us..except ours is less of an accident (I love cuddling to sleep!). I am sympathetic though as it does feel a litlle crowded at times and DHs sleep is defintiely suffering!

    What we did for a while when I was concerned about DS not knowing what a cot was for is have the cot beside the bed with the side off. It was a bit tricky ensuring there was no gap and DS quickly got too tall to have the mattress at that height but for awhile I could breastfeed him to sleep on the bed and shuffle him over into the cot or even breastfeed in the cot (a bit awkward, I had my upper body in the cot and lower body in the bed)!

    Oh we've also been using the carrier (Ergo) to get him to sleep so he is not 100% dependant on the boob (i.e. me) to sleep. Good luck!