Hi there starbright
Just wondering if your ds sleeps through the night? Is there a reason that you need him to self settle? Up until 3 weeks ago i used to rock Hannah to sleep (she is now 19 months) I too couldn't bare to let her cry in her cot. One day i just started laying down on the floor next to her cot while she was awake. (with a cute little hand hold) I started off by staying until she went to sleep and then eventually I started saying 'mummy will be back soon", and i'd go off for a moment. She was happy to stay in her cot and would go to sleep. I do miss our 'go to sleep cuddle ' though.
I hope you can work something out that keeps you both happy