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Thread: Help Me Please!!!

  1. #1

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    Default Help Me Please!!!

    I went to the MCHN Mothers Group today and was talking to the MCHN about DS sleeping patterns.

    He is 100% breast fed to sleep and at 8 months i am wanting to find solutions to help him be able to go to sleep on his own.. unfotrunately the MCHN's solution is basically CC.



    She ahs suggested that i feed him, keep him awake, and then lay him in his cot and leave him for 2mins, then 4, etc etc... now i know my son, and i know with in 2 seconds he will be crying, and there is NO WAY i will be leaving him crying for 2 minutes EVER


    SOOOO... I was wondering if anyone could please offer me some USEFULL advice on COMFORTED sleeping to help my son go from being awake to sleeping in his cot.

    I am supposed to go back to see her on Monday and tell her how we have progressed.

    DS is quite a mover now and definatly doesnt lay down in us cot, he is up and crawling aorund, and at the moment, the closest we have come to not breast feeding to sleep is to feed until he is very sleep, and then he will pull off and snuggle with me to sleep- but i have never put him down fully awake and gotten him to sleep.

    We have a fairly set night time routine of dinner/bath/quiet story and snuggle and then feed- which at the moment i do in the lounge room and have been thinking of moving a comfy chair into his room to start the night time routine happening in there.

    Thanks for any ideas or help.. i would love to go in there and say I have chosen to do this and this and it is working better than leaving him to cry.

    She even tried to tell me that there are no proven instances of harm in leaving a baby to cry once they are past 6 months old!!! And that its normal for them to crawl around and cry themselves to sleep as they are just "talking" to them selves until they sleep. Hmmm talking is one thing, but the few times i have tried to lay DS down- he aint talking, he is very upset and crying.

    Thanks again!!

  2. #2

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    SB I am in the same boat DD used to self settle but for some reason she just stopped at about 5 months old and now will only fall asleep on the breast, in the car or the pram. its a PITA. I think it is partly cause those are the only time she will stay still! poo to your MCHN!
    eta - the Karitane website has a sleep brochure with gentle settling techniques.. google it .... I have it here somewhere and keep meaning to try it but haven't got around to it yet

  3. #3

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    Actually SB I found it so if you want to PM me your email address I can email it to you.

  4. #4

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    I think SB - the most important thing here to ask is - is it a problem for YOU?

    Don't worry about what SHE says - what do YOU think? Are you happy for this to continue, or do you want to change it too, and not just because you think you SHOULD be changing it, but because you really truly want to?

  5. #5

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    Hi there starbright
    Just wondering if your ds sleeps through the night? Is there a reason that you need him to self settle? Up until 3 weeks ago i used to rock Hannah to sleep (she is now 19 months) I too couldn't bare to let her cry in her cot. One day i just started laying down on the floor next to her cot while she was awake. (with a cute little hand hold) I started off by staying until she went to sleep and then eventually I started saying 'mummy will be back soon", and i'd go off for a moment. She was happy to stay in her cot and would go to sleep. I do miss our 'go to sleep cuddle ' though.
    I hope you can work something out that keeps you both happy

  6. #6

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    Um, what Arimeh said. If it's not a drama for you, then why change it? PLENTY of bubs BF to sleep, it's really not a drama unless mum isn't up for it.

    Personally, my DS still feeds to sleep, but can go to sleep without me (ie. with DH or grandma etc). Up to this point I would say it's an excellent tool to have actually. There have been plenty of times in the past year or so where we have been in a situation where it has been easy to put him on the boob and let him drift off. But if he didn't have that ability he wouldn't have been able to go to sleep (I'm talking about when we're out etc). It is also excellent when they're unwell, and might otherwise be feeling too uncomfortable to go to sleep. BFing is like a happy drug for babies LOL! It has sleep inducing hormones for mum and baby, which is a fantastic thing.

    So yeah, unless you are personally struggling with it, I wouldn't go stressing yourself out about changing it. Because I can hear from your post that it WILL be stressful to change things (which I totally get, having been there myself ).

    Good luck with whatever you choose

    ETA my DS was never going to crawl around 'talking' to himself either. More like screaming! Look, I wasn't going to say this, but I will. I tried CC when my DS was 8 months old and it was a disaster. I still feel horrible guilt over that time. It not only didn't help, it made things so much worse. At least before the cc time he used to sleep okay during the day, but afterwards he just didn't want to sleep ever, and it took about 5 or 6 months to get him at all settled about sleeping. He also became very clingly for some time. I broke his trust . Clearly everyone has a different story, all babies are different. But that's how things went for us, DS is simply not a child who was ever going to respond well to cc. And I can't say I blame him!

    If I were in your shoes I just wouldn't go back to your MCHN on Monday. If she asks why you're not going, tell her you're happy with the way things are (if indeed you are). Simple as that. She is not your keeper, he is YOUR child, YOU make the decisions.
    Last edited by Janie; April 2nd, 2009 at 01:53 PM.

  7. #7

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    I fed my DS to sleep while I BF. He could never settle on his own, and feeding was the best was I could get him to sleep. But, when I needed to wean him (for my health reasons), and to get him to settle on his own, and I read a great book - Elizabeth Pantley No Cry Sleep Solution. It is a very gentle baby steps way to help with sleep issues. I didnt follow it to the letter, but I found her methods to be good. It took time (like a month or so) but it worked.

    But I am with the others. If you are cool with the feeing to settle then why change.... GL.

  8. #8

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    Oh thanks Ruf! I came in here intending to mention that book, but got a bit sidetracked Elizabeth Pantley does say to expect it to take up to 30 days, so it sounds as though you guys got things down pat!

    SB, if you do decide to stop him feeding to sleep, then definitely have a read of the No Cry Sleep Solution. Just a tip, plan on reading it through before implementing it. As in, don't order the book and think that you're going to change everything on the days you receive it!

  9. #9

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    I borrowed it from the library and had to extend my loan a number of times... It was well worth the read though... Another thing I really liked about her method is, if the new thing you are trying is not working, just go back a step, get your self back on track and try again. So there were days when I was trying to self settle, and DS would no do it, so back came the boob, and we tried again the next day.

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