oh you poor darl ..
firstly i would put the books in the bin .... you are the one who knows your son best and you are the one who knows what to do , the books will just make you crazy ..
could dh try cuddling up with ethan???

if you love sleeping with him ... keep doing it , im not sure about the boob thing as a dummy but one way or another it will work it self out .... or some other lovely bb will have a good idea ...

but as for those books .... they may sound like they can make your life easier ....but they are not going to , from you post they are making you insane , my son never slept through till he was about 1 ... thats not to scare you , (and yes he fed when ever he woke , its only milk it wont harm him , it will nourish him !!) but to let you know babies dont go by the book ....and the not crying to sleep thing is not a bad thing , if ds was upset i would comfort him , simple as that , that is what we are made to do ... so if he cries ,do your duty and comfort him ...

i guess what im trying to say is : you sound as though you are doing a fab job , but some person you dont even know ( the author) is getting into your head .. the person doesnt even know your boy so i would shut the book , take a look at your boy and go with his cues ... the weight of this will be off your back , if you tune into yourself and ethan !!!