Now I am really at my wits end. I hate to admit it but I am so lost with getting Eva to sleep. I really am a breaking point. I dread sleep times and I am loosing my patience with everyone including Eva. I just want to cry or run away.
Over the last week I've tried pay extra attention to Eva and getting her down and it seems I am failing even more. She is not feeding to sleep anymore either and she absolutely hates being put in the cot. So here is what I have tried:
First sign of tired signs change nappy and offer feed. If she is just playing around with feeding I put her in the cot. This is where is gets fun...not!!. As soon as I attempt to put her down she screams, kicks her legs. SO I pick her up and she continues to kick and scream. I offer more boob, sometimes she takes it others not. I settle her then put her back down...If I am luck she'll lay there for a minute then the protesting starts. I let her go a bit. Then I pat her and say shhhhh, her screaming gets worse. So I pick her up (and she smiles) and bounce her on the fit ball. She may start to go to sleep after 15 to 20 mins. So I put her down then lo and behold she is screaming again. This can go on for an hour until I am so frustrated that I take her out of the room and leave her to play...But then she is cranky and crying out. So I try again,eventually after hours and many feeds she sleeps. Where have I gone wrong? I am not a good mum atm
Did I mention my husband is cranky too and blaming me for not setting up good sleeping habits
Last edited by BekZ; January 29th, 2010 at 11:41 AM.
: adding
Bek. If I tried to put my DD down before she was fully asleep I would have the same drama. i rock her to sleep and she must be fully asleep when I put her down or she will crack it.
Oh hun its so hard isnt..I remember those days all to well.
We started cosleeping when DS1 was about that age...why we didnt do it sooner escapes me...but it helped immensely he just wanted to be near us and sometimes wouldnt even need a feed just a quick glance to see me and off to sleep? DS2 is the same...and I totally get why they want to cause I love being near my DH and not alone
I know its not for everyone and its defintiely not a bad habit, maybe you could let bubs fall asleep next you then transfer into the cot?
bek. you're not a bad mum at all & i think it's way too early to be making a call on bad sleeping habits.
i don't think i can offer any advice cos i'm horrible at getting corey to sleep. only feeding to sleep & putting him on our bed/co-sleeping works here. i leave nappy changes for when he wakes up because i find he wakes up too much if i do it before a nap. it takes me a few goes trying to feed to sleep sometimes & he gets pretty annoyed as well on those times. unfortunately it seems like him getting a bit upset actually makes him want to go back on the breast & he then falls asleep. i hate it, but sometimes it's all that works
Just an idea but can you try putting her in the cot with a child safe toy and see if she will just play with it and then fall asleep? I know cots aren't for play but when you're desperate it is worth a try. You could just remove the toy once she goes to sleep.
Marcellus - DH believes in CIO and he has tried this out on her a few times. I can't stand it so after a lot of tears I usually take over. This ends up leaving him cranky because he can't put her down and because he believes that I am too soft. We tried wrapping too but she hates it
Boomba - With co-sleeping I can't seem to get comfortable and I lye awake all night if she is with me. I do take her to bed with me over night for feeds and I return her to the cot once her feeds are finished I never have an issue with her overnight.
I just laid down with her and feed her to sleep. Thankfully after 6 hours of trying to get her to bed that she says there for a bit. I am scared of creating a big rod for my own back by laying with her and feeding to sleep. It doesn't help that my DH is making reference to this very point all the time.
Spring - Yep we've tried toys, music, singing, dummies (she won't take a dummy) and a blanky.
Sloane - My little miss has done a lot of crying today and she finally feel asleep whilst feeding. She was exhausted as am I. Your experience with Corey sounds very similar..hugs.
Last edited by BekZ; January 29th, 2010 at 01:02 PM.
Oh. That's tough if you guys don't quite see eye to eye on things. Maybe try talking through it with him?
I don't believe you're making a rod at all. You're building a beautiful, trusting relatinoship with your daughter. You're listening to her needs and responding the way she needs you to.
I can't tell you how tired it makes me when I hear or read of people saying "you just have to xxx or xxx and then they'll sleep..." "Oh I never xxxx and he always slept beautifully.." or whatever. Well yes! Your baby is different to mine!!!
ETA - Have you read No Cry Sleep Solution... might be helpful
Last edited by onthefly; January 29th, 2010 at 02:12 PM.
Marcellus - I think I need to read that book. I am starting to get a few comments from ppl regarding Eva's sleep habits. Recently one lady told me to refuse to feed her overnight and just let her cry until she gets it!!!! The same lady told me my middle daughter will always feel like the odd one out because she was born 2nd
Will she sleep with you on the bed? You could try lying down with her then transferring her to the cot once she's asleep. Or just co-sleep for a while till she's more settled then go back to the cot.
You haven't done anything wrong! Your DD is trying to tell you something right now and you are responding the best way you can. My DS had very similar problems at that age and we ended up giving up on the cot - he sleeps on a mattress on the floor. Sometimes we sleep with him, usually he sleeps alone.
Wrapping could help, too.
Get your DH to put her down - seriously. She may have gotten into a pattern of anxiety and not sleeping with you, sometimes it helps to mix things up and get another person to try.
Ok I really need some solutions
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hun. You are not a bad mum - things are tough ATM but that doesn't make you a bad mum. 
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