I am at a total loss

[Nadine216]

No, Bec you're not late. And I also do think that it might be teething after all, although like you said, I can see nothing new or now swelling or anything. She already has four molars, but they do seem to retract somedays if that could be possible. I would see them clearly one day and the next it would look like the gums are swollen around and over them. She does not complain when I touch it though. And no, pain meds don't help my toothache either.
I think Monday night was a fluke She had a ok'ish night last night, woke up about 3 times, not to bad. Only bugger is that I could not sleep!!! I had an extream hayfever attack about 9pm last night and that got me nice and stuffed up in the sinusses for the whole night (still am) I woke up every hour and really could not get comfy in bed inbetween. Aw well, that's life for you

Re - the hitting. Thanks for the tip. I like the idea of re-directing her. I would just tell her NO in a stern voice and say that you don't hit ppl. So getting her to maybe hit the couch or a cushion would be better. Thank you.

[paradise lost]

Yeah DD's 2 year molars (the 2nd set of molars) are giving her hell still. Now 2 are through but not fully "up" iykwim, and the other 2 are still coming through the gum. With DD i definitely think the pain is more in her jaw, neck and head than just on the gums as it was with the front teeth. SHe often holds or pulls her ears when her teeth are bothering her (every time i go to the doc i have him look in her ears! lol) or holds her head. My only experience in memory is that of 2nd teeth and wisdom teeth, both of which definitely made me feel a bit off while they came through. Hang in there hun, i really do find that she'll have a few baddish weeks in a row and then be fine for just long enough for me to get sane again.

Re: the hitting - you're welcome I have found in general, especially with DD being so young, that she is NEVER really being "naughty" but is always expressing an emotional or sensory need. Even if it's something she kind of knows i don't like, she NEEDS to do it (the drive to learn is so strong in us apes) and she has no impulse control to stop herself. So she might really need to hit something, or throw, or even touch water or scrunch her toes in a new texture. That doesn't mean i have to be hit, have things thrown at my head, have water poured all over my bed or sacrifice my oatmeal to her curious feet! But i tend to try to offer a reasonable close alternative rather than stop her altogether, and if there ISN'T one (like there aren't really "safe" matches to play with) i give her something similar - a bottle of beans that rattles like the matchbox, or some short pipe-cleaners that are thin like matches to feel, or i engage her in something else entirely, "help mummy" is always a winner round here She loves doing the dishes (i let her wash her own picnic set) and cooking (she carries peelings to the bin etc.). Little people can be really helpful AND kept busy if you involve them in safe ways.

Having said that sometimes i turn my back - my bed is drying from a water attack right NOW

Bx

[Nadine216]

sacrifice my oatmeal to her curious feet!

That is precious!!!

I can't remember getting 2nd teeth and had my wisdom removed in high school. I can't imagine how it must feel like. But she is touching her ears some (dr said their fine ... I always have them checked too) and have been pulling at her hair ... that could mean her head hurts, right?

I agree with you, when dd hits, she is not naughty .. she just don't "get it" yet. I get really upset when she is on my hip and she hits me in the face .. that to me is a real no-no. I put her down straight away, but 99% she burst out in tears. DH also get the hibby-jibbies when she does that. I know it's not meant to hit in the face, it's not like she go for the face, it's just nearby, kwim??

I love having my little helper handy ... esp now that I don't want to bend to pick things up, crawl under the bed to retrieve my cell and if I have to get something out of the back of the truck Child labour rules

*fingerscrossed* here's to another hopefull night!

ps. Monday's sleepthru did it's part to keep me sane ... I know she can do it and I know she won't be like this forever

[paradise lost]

ITA Nads, being hit in the face is by far the most difficult thing for me to deal with too. It shocked me the first time she did it that despite the fact she is tiny, doesn't mean it, and isn't very strong, my initial (obviously supressed) reaction when ANYONE hits me in the face is to smack them back!

When she hits my face i take her offending hand and say very sternly "hands are NOT for hitting people." and then put her down and offer her a pillow or something to hit. The rejection of being put down is harsh for some kids but it is ok IMO to put her down for a second and when she cries pick her up and say "you're sad i put you down, mama gets very sad when her face is hit!" and then comfort one another. I always think that providing a way for a kid to make it up to you is brilliant too, otheriwse they're sort of lost with the fact that they hurt you and can't take it back. If i accidentally knock DD i say sorry, stroke or rub what i hit and ask if i can give her a hug better, and she now does this to me. The most amazing thing just now is that though she DOES still hit, she will say immediately "hands a NOT FOR hitting!" so it's going in. Her hands don't yet always do what her mind tells them to, but i know she's listening and she's trying - it's like potty training, they begin by telling you AFTER they go that they need to. With discipline they begin to "get" it by recognising undersireable behaviour AFTER they do it. But it's a great first step IMO

It sounds like the ear and hair pulling is DEFINITELY to do with teething pain. Hang in there hun, i'm feeling you sleepless agonies!

Bx

[Nadine216]

"you're sad i put you down, mama gets very sad when her face is hit!"

I'm definatly using this!! I have a problem myself with getting my feelings out in words, and how to explain or handle dd sometimes. This is just gold, I love it. Thanks!!
I have a discussion with DH, just so we are both on the same page on how to handle her with the face hitting.

it's like potty training, they begin by telling you AFTER they go that they need to.

OMG, OT but I just have to share. It's feezing in the morning and I was in my underwear and dd looked up to me and said: "pee-pee", turned around and ran for the loo. So I (in my undies) goes after, pulls off her pants and diper and place her on the loo. She sits there, smiles at me, do a little fart and ... that's it!!! I inspect the diper and sure as poo, there is a nice warm wee in it Me freezing my butt off, struggeling for the next 5 minutes to get a new diper on a wormy little todler. (She has started tt on her own in day-care .. I know it's early, but she tells them on her own and has done like 5 wee's on the potty in the past couple of weeks ... I'm not pushing her, but if she does it on her own, that is fine by me)

[paradise lost]

It can be difficult in the heat of the moment to express yourself. When DD woke me up by hitting me in the nose with a card book (and drawing blood!) a few months ago, all i could say (shout) for about 5 minutes was "WHY would you do that!?". Obviously she didn't mean it, didn't realise what would happen, and was really upset when i was upset, but i'd been in a deep sleep (deep enough that i didn't hear her come out of her room and into mine, which i ALWAYS do) and i was just flabbergasted. LOL.

I had a conversation with a woman who is more Gentle Discipline with me, a very civil conversation i might add! She feels that me telling DD she has hurt me or whatever when she CLEARLY isn't old enough to mean it is shaming her for being a normal kid and that the shame just disempowers her and won't help her behave differently because she will just be frozen by it, too scared to do anything in fear of being "bad". Boy did i do a lot of thinking that week! But i came to my conclusion, that i DO want to disempower her at the moment of her doing the "wrong" thing, so i can re-direct her to do the right thing. I do agree that for me i'd feel disempowered if i was told off and ONLY told off, but i try to always say a) what is wrong, b) how it makes me feel/the consequences, & c) how she can make it better. That way, yes, i am disempowering her when she does the wrong thing, BUT i immediately re-empower her to do the right thing from there, and explain why the wrong thig was wrong enough that she can learn to know to avoid it in the future. I think intention is very important too, if she hits me in the face when she's 8 there will be FAR heavier consequences (just now i just move out of range) and the "way back" with be harder. ATM i correct her behaviour all day long but it feels between us that this correction is a natural flow of unconfrontational, non-stressful learning about how it's good to act towards other people. What i hate is to see a kid shouted at and then ignored or treated "off" for a long time. With DD if i did that she would forget why i was doing it LONG before i stopped. That's why being sleep-deprived makes it all so much harder, because i want to snap at every little thing and i'm generally grumpy ALL day. Lol. It's tough this gig isn't it!?

DD is JUST starting to get it with the potty training. This morning she was playing with her wee pal, they were both in my room giggling and giggling and me and his mum were laughing listening to them and smiling at each other, and then DD comes running in, naked from the waist down (!) saying "DD did poopee!" My friend was kind of "uh-oh!" but DD says "poopee" for wee and "caca" for poop. So i went in my room and sure enough she'd taken her (dry) nappy off and done a wee in the potty I can't wait until i no longer have to change nappies. Of course by then i'll be thinking about the next one...

Bx