Where is her 12 Week *Magical* change??

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OK - I am at my wits end and wondering if my DD missed that whole 12 week magical changeover

DD is 13 weeks and STILL needs to be held or rocked to sleep. I remember reading lots on BB that at 12 weeks things would change and most babies just "know" how to settle - im thinking DD missed out on that ability

We have a full nightime routine in place which starts at 6pm (bath, massage, book, breastfeed, sleep - she has hated being wrapped from 7 weeks so i dont even bother trying anymore) and i aim to have her in her bassinette by 7pm. She will fall asleep on the breast and as soon as i put her down in her bassinette she wakes up crying - i have tried to let her "self settle" and walk away from the crying, but i just cant do it and inevitably pick her up and hold her until she falls asleep again (this can take up to another 40 mins if she has worked herself up). i then sit with her in my arms for another 15 mins until i know she is completely "out" and then put her down again. When she wakes up for her feed at about 11pm the whole thing gets played out again - im really struggling and have spoken to my MCHN who said "Don't worry, she'll get it soon" - im like i need some proper sleep and not feel stressed everytime it comes for DD to go to sleep!!

BTW : the above also applies to DD day sleeps (minus the bath, massage etc) instead i try to use the feed, play, sleep but she just wants to be held and rocked until she is completely unaware of her surroundings.

Any help/advice/suggestions would be greatly appreciated as im starting to go bonkers especially as i have 3 friends and we all gave birth in the same week and all of their babies have been self-settling since 8 weeks...arrgghhh

If you got this far thanks for reading !