Just a vent really....

[Marlene]

If my MIL said that (and thankfully she wouldn't - one thing we agree on is no CIO) and I was sleep deprived ('cause I'd have to be sleep deprived to be so bold), I'd tell her "yes he'll be spoilt - he'll grow up knowing his mother loves him." I'd at least think it as a comfort to me. Sorry, just got to get my b!tchiness out. You are doing a great job!

Hahahah...not b!tchy at all...I did say it...to MIL and DH. They just say "well don't whinge when he doesn't sleep through then!" AAAAARRRRGGGGGHH!!!!!!!

[Liz]

They just say "well don't whinge when he doesn't sleep through then!" AAAAARRRRGGGGGHH!!!!!!!

I totally get this bit too LOL. My mum stopped offering her suggestions of formula feeds & leaving them to cry after I told her off. LOL. I told her I'm just having a whinge, I don't want any solutions!

I kinda feel the same if we end up going for a 3rd baby, that I'll be losing my right to have a whinge about my day with the kids.. coz I wanted the 3rd so I have to suck it up and deal with it. ugh.

Just come into BB to vent. At least here we get support for how we are trying to do things. And just live for the day where you are victorious with a fantastic sleeper, with no fear of the dark, who is comfortable & secure in the knowledge that his mum won't turn him away in the middle of the night on the rare occasions he needs you.

[thepixie]

Hi Marlene...
one of the gentle methods I have read in some books is to wake/ give a dreamfeed about half an hour before they usually wake up. If is wake ups are regular enough you could try that? Sounds crazy but some books say it works. Personally I have never tried it cause I'm too lazy! I know what you mean about MG... I love my MG dearly but they see nothing wrong with doing CC and it just doesn't sit right with me horses for courses I guess!

[Michelle71]

Marlene - this isn't going to help but DS still isn't sleeping through. Neither is DD but she is too little yet

You are doing a great job so vent away. Crying it out won't help (unless the crying is mummy ) but getting it off your chest makes it easier to go back and continue with the parenting choices you have made. A problem shared with this many is a very small problem indeed

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I hear you! I don't agree with crying it out yet why, when I tell DS's nursery that he was up 1-4 for the last few nights so will be tired, does one woman insist he should cry it out? If he wants me he has to learn that I am there for him, I tell her. He's learnt that, she thinks. Now it's manipulation.

Show me a GROWN MAN who can manipulate a woman and I'll show you a toddler who can. I mean, he doesn't have the mental ability to realise I'm a seperate person who can be manipulated (beyond using the word "please" to get me to change my mind on occasion) let alone the ability to actually manipulate. And this woman works with DS! All I can say is at least she's not his key worker, who does actually realise DS's capabilities.

[Indadhanu]

This isn't going to help, but I just had a fairly shocking night with Jazz (poor bubba was spewing all night ) and theres really only one thing that makes me feel more resolved in not letting her cry (last night was a but different, noy like i'll leave her to spew lol but YKWIM, her waking isnt a once off)...

Knowing that Jazz doesn't feel fear, abandonment, and loneliness. Seeing her reach for me at all hours of the night (I don't general get all warm and fuzzy at that time, but when I think about it later LOL), knowing mumma is here for her, whenever she needs me. Knowing that she can express her emotions, she can cry and I'll come for her, and not feeling muted and ignored. Knowing that I'll pick her up and hold her to me and give her that warmth of love in a mumma's hug. It's not manipulation. Just because they know the connection doesn't mean they take advantage of it. When they connect a cup to water, and then they ask for a drink, thats not manipulation, thats our bubbas growing up and asking for what they need (of course, using words, and SAYING 'i need a hug' will be met with much less frustration lol).

Jack is so lucky. He has a fantastic mumma. This isnt going to help, I'm sorry, but from one sleep-deprived mumma to another heres some squishy hugs. Cos hugs make everything better (just ask the bubbas!).

[~clover~]

Hope you got some sleep last night.
I did! I woke for a drink at 5am & everyone was still asleep! I nearly fell over when I saw the time! Of course just as I was going back to sleep Jesse woke up, but 5am! He woke the once & they are all still alseep.
Of course for some silly reason I am up

Just sending you more Jesse was around 13 months when he first started to 'sleep through', or only wake once. & its been different every night since.