My 6month old still LOVES being fed to sleep..

[Emma27]

I'm not sure whether its a big issue or not.
Joshua is sleeping really well at night- from 9pm until 6am and then he comes into bed with us until 7.30am. What a dream! During the day he has a morning and afternoon sleep and I'm happy with that. The problem is he has trouble falling to sleep on his own during the day. If I put him in his cot he cries so much that he gets hot and sweaty. As soon as I pick him up and feed him he falls asleep almost instantly. I know that he isnt hungry he just likes feeding for comfort. I know that it is possible for him to fall asleep on his own-I've seen him do this before- but he cries for 10 minutes at least which I find distressing. Sitting with him so he can see me doesnt help at all. Doing laps of the house with him in my arms doesnt work now that he is bigger.
He can fall asleep quietly in the car or when I take him for a walk in the stroller, but he wakes up the instant we get back home! I cant really spend an hour or so just driving around (as I'm sure you can understand!)
Its been on my mind lately as I'll be returning to work two days a week in May. Breastfeeding to sleep wont be an option then. Do you think he may grow out of it by the time he is 9 months? I'm almost considering changing the colour of his nursery from yellow to something like blue as I've read this is a more calming colour. This doesnt sit well with DH as he just painted the room before Josh was born.
I'm not sure which is worse- feeding him to sleep or leaving him to cry until he falls asleep? He looks so and peaceful and happy when he falls asleep on my breast so I guess its the best way to go. So basically what I'm wondering is..am I doing the the right thing and are other babies are like this?

[MantaRay]

Emma, you will hear lots of different opinions on this. I believe that there is no problem with what you are doing. You obviously don't mind feeding him to sleep so to my mind that means there is no problem. If you were hating bfing and wanting to wean him then it would be different, but as it is I see no problem.

Don't worry too much about when you return to work. Babies know when mum isn't around and adjust their behaviour accordingly. Jack always drank less EBM than he would have feeding from me, then made up for it when I picked him up. He also used different sleep cues when I wasn't there. I am sure your DS will fall asleep without bb more easily when he knows you are not there. And his carer will be able to rock him to sleep or whatever it takes if he does have problem settling.

So I would say worry about a problem only when it has become a problem. Otherwise just keep doing what you are doing. It sounds to me like you are doing a great job.

[DoubleK]

Hi Emma, i have a 19 month old little girl who has fed to sleep since she was born, and now im finding it a big issue, as she is just wanting to feed far too frequently.

i have left her on 3 occasions with DP when ive had to go out (at night) and all three times, she has EVENTUALLY gone to sleep with him on the couch, but if im there.. no way! its boobie or no sleep at all.

we went to o'connell family centre (sleep school) when she was almost 13 months, and i found that good, but so hard to continue on at home, as i cant cope with her screaming, as she never cried as a baby. even now because she is older, ill find it hard to hear her scream, but i think we are getting to the point that i just need to cut the breastfeeding altogether.

i dont want to put you off darl, but Krystal hasnt grown out of it yet! and i doubt she will for some time yet, no matter what i do - read books, lay with her, lay on the couch with all the lighhts off.. nothing works. its hard but i'll just keep trying!!

having said all that, on new years eve, we left Krystal with DP's parent for the night (it was 11pm when they offered for her to stay the night, as we were going to pick her up @ 1am anyway.) she slept in her nans bed (pa got booted out to the couch!) and slept like an angel till 5am, when nan just pat her on the bum a few times, and sound asleep again till 7.30am.

HTH!!
Rach

[aussienic]

I fed my son Jacob to sleep every night till he was 21 months.. and it only took a week after he weaned to ge him to go to sleep with no trouble.. Day sleeps when he was a baby I always fed him.. If he woke when we got home from somewhere I would just pop him on and he would go straight to sleep..

If it works for you then keep doing it

[Snowy Love]

I still feed DS to sleep @ 16mths - I work 2 days a week (since 11mths) and its not a problem - he sometimes goes to sleep on the EBM bottle, sometimes (often) is patted to sleep but his carers aren't complaining or asking for him to be taught to self settle.

[sneakysparkle]

Hey Emma27, your DS sounds exactly like my DD - she is now 11 mths and still feeds to sleep! During the day she won't go to sleep without the breast or being in the car, but at night she sometimes prefers not to fall asleep while feeding - she just cuddles up and falls asleep. She started doing that when she was about 8mths old.
That prob doesn't help with your work sitcho but just wanted you to know youre not the only one

[MistyFying]

Hi Emma, sounds like you really enjoy feeding your little boy to sleep and watching him blissfully drift off. He's only a bub.... if it's working for you both at the moment why not continue for a while? Afterall, May is still 5 months away. Perhaps set a goal for yourself (like in early April) to re-assess then. If you're uncomfortable letting him cry (as I was with my two) then listen to your instinct and do what's best for you both

[KymH]

Emma, I agree with so much of what's been said - I have been and still am going through something a little similar here myself...

I definitely think you should not worry about what is 5months in the future - this time between 6-12 months is just sooo massive it's hard to comprehend - I have found that my DD has changed sooo much in this time in so many ways, including feeding / settling / sleeping (not all for the "better" I must say!!)

Like you, I started to worry about returning to work a few months ago - I am about to start a new job 2 days/wk next week!!

Although we don't BF to sleep very often, DD does need a LOT of help to get to sleep.

I actually found that the idea of a "timeline" to get DD to learn to self settle just put way too much pressure on both of us and I'm not sure if this stress (which I think she picked up on in me) was the only reason, but her sleeping went all over the place for a while. Before Christmas I came to the realisation that without going the CC route (totally not an option for us) DD was unlikely to learn this very difficult skill in the time left.

I found that when I started to calm down, accept how things were for now and go with the flow, both of our lives improved!!

And you don't really seem to be having any problems with what you are doing, so I say, keep going and enjoy him while he's a baby!

Last week was DD's 1st test at family day care and she didn't sleep (the carer cuddled her like I do, got her to sleep in her arms, but DD foiled her at the put-down in the cot phase - cheeky!) but the carer seems really patient and sensitive to our philosophies etc... and we are going to give it a few more weeks.

I guess the other thing is to make sure you find the right people to care for Joshua - although I've ended up in family day care, I also found some wonderful CCC out there who are happy to help babies to sleep.

All the best.

[~Raven~]

I have fed all three of mine to sleep. I have found that they have grown out of the need for it by 12 months.

Do what you feel is right! If there comes a time that it isn't working for you whatever the reason then work on what you need to do then.

In my experience I have found that you can't predict anything. He may not settle for someone else even if you stop feeding him to sleep and get him to self settle if that makes sense.

Will he be going to child care or be looked after by a friend or relative? If it's the latter I'd recommend building a realtionship between him and the carer and a few practice runs before a full day of care and you not being there.

[stacey83]

I'm doing the same with my 6 month old. My DS is attached..i need to feed him to sleep every night...layng down in my bed!! some nights i get fed up with it, and i'll leave him and occasionally he'll drift off to sleep by himself...othertimes he'll cry and cry and i go back in, give him boob, and he'll go straight to sleep!!

I must admit i do enjoy the closeness, and it must be sooooooo nice for him to fall asleep being cuddled and having a drink. So im going to just keep doing it for now....until he is sleeping through the night. (at the moment he wakes up twice for a feed) but stays in bed with me until 8am.

Oh can i just add.... Could someone please tell me how to put my lillypie age ticker on my signature??? i have a mac computer

[Liz]

We fed to sleep for a long time too (and he's nearly 2 now), and even now he has a feed as one of his sleep cues. We've got to the stage now where he comes off the feed and lies down and I stay with him until he's asleep.

I think it's only a problem if you don't like to do it. Otherwise, why give up what's essentially the easiest way to put a child to sleep? hehe.

I also agree that if mum isn't around, the child adjusts accordingly. Just go with whatever you're comfortable with.