My GP told me to controlled cry :(

[Pip82]

Hello... 2 threads in a few days from me I need to get off hte computer haha

Anyway I went to the GP the other day to get a lump on my back checked out, that is all sorted now I think but the conversation got to

GP: So are you still breastfeeding?

Me: Yes

GP: No Reply....How many times she wake up at night?

Me: 2 or 3 (I didn't say on a good night)

GP: She should be sleeping through by 6 months you know, no wonder you are tired.

Me: Really? Yes I am tired

GP: 'they' recommend controlled crying

and proceeded to tell me how to do it.

I said that I'm not really comfortable with doing that. I feed her and then she goes back to sleep.

She then said well I suppose thats ok if you want to do it but its better to 'nip it in the bud' now

I am annoyed and disappointed. Also doubting myself a bit. This GP is young and I have had no issues with her before. She is also an obstetrician I think. She didn't ask any other information about Sarah (who is 7 months on Saturday) like teeth (yes she is getting some) solids (no she wont eat anything yet despite lots of trying) etc etc or anything about my ideas or views. Just straight out 'you should do controlled crying'. I think this is plain irresponsible. People trust their doctors (not me now). And who are 'they' who recommend this controlled crying business anyway. Don't worry, I will not do it. I'm just annoyed because I finally thought I found a GP who is living in this century. I also wish I had said something to her then.

Am I right? Sarah will one day sleep all night without me having to controlled cry? I'll be patient. One day will be nice though.

Thanks for listening.

Pip

[Kitt3n]

This is why I hate so many doctors/professionals. It's so so so hard to find someone who, as you say, lives in this century.

Hun, Laa is just over 1 and still feeds during the night. She is also healthy and happy. :P to your doc!

[boomba]

Please keep doing what you are doing. Yes your beautiful daughter will sleep through and no you wont have to CC wiht her. Babies need us to help them sleep...would you sleep well if you were left to cry for yourself to sleep..I know i wouldnt. Just follow youre instincts and NEVER doubt them
Maybe drop off off a copy of The science of parenting/what every parent should know...that should help your doctor give the right info.

Your doing a great job xx

[~MummaBear~]

i hate how so many Drs / profesionals are so quick to jump in with advice like that...
You DD will sleep thru when she is ready and if you are happy doing things the way you are dont stop! As long as you and your DD are happy and healthy there is no need to do anything different
Im pretty sure by the time she leaves home she will be more than happy to self settle without being B/F ROFL
You are doing a great job!!!

[~Kaz~]

I know what it's like to be comfortable with your choices as a parent but still find yourself wondering when so called experts (be they professionals or other parents) tell you to try CC. I don't think it's that normal for a 6 month old to be "sleeping through" by now. Did the GP define sleeping through at all? Some babies do of course sleep 12 hours straight at that age, but an awful lot don't. You could always write the GP a letter expressing your disappointment and attaching some info (there's some good articles in BB) about CC and it's effects on babies.

[Shanti]

From my understanding... babies "sleep through" when they are developmentally ready to.

My DD is 10.5mths old and STILL not sleeping through and wakes 2-5 times a night still.... we are STILL waiting to get more sleep....we are so tired in this house but refuse to do it any other way.... we believe in gentle parenting also and we are co-sleeping now so we can all get more rest....

Don't listen to advice like that, follow your parental instinct YOU know what is best. The comfort you give DD now, will set her up for life later... she'll be the independent and confident kid/teenager/adult!

I STILL haven't found a GP i like either.... GP's are very "generalised" in their fields of work and know little of ALOT of things I like to think! LOL (does that make sense?) like they aren't specialised in babies for example.... they just know alot of info on lots of diff things. and not necessarily updated info!!!

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Hate to say it, but my nearly-3-year-old isn't sleeping through every night. Some nights, but not all.

At 6-7m old, no way.

I used to think "well, I'm up for what, half a minute to latch him on then we go back to sleep. OR I could sit with a timer for five minutes, then ten... then a lot less sleep. Yeah, I won't do that one."

People who recommended CC to me more than once (first time receives a polite no, I don't want to do that) got a few short answers and quick facts about brain development. My son will NEVER feel abandoned by me deliberately. (Sure, sometimes I'm not as quick as I'd like, but never deliberately let him cry.)

My GP reckons DS is high maintainence (probably right when I look at other children and hear stories), but she knows my stance of CCing so doesn't go there, apart to say that if I want to try it then it won't necessarily hurt. If I don't then that's my choice.

[fionas]

Unfortunately, I don't think anyone can give you a guarantee that your baby will one day sleep through when she's ready. I've seen lots of threads on here from mums whose babies/toddlers will only settle with BFing and that's absolutely not a problem as long as the mum is happy to do it. Just as patting to sleep is not a problem if mum is happy to do it.

I never CCd but I do see the point of gently encouraging babies to self-settle. And I do mean gently. I did it very gradually over many months.

[Arcadia]

It would have been more helpful if the Dr looked at ways you could get more sleep. IMHO it is pointless to wait until the baby gives you a 10 hour stretch...it just sets you up for disappointment.

Why not co-sleep, or try and have an arvo nap, or you could do what we do in our house and alternate who gets up with DD, or demand a 'sleep in' day to catch up.

It is better for everyone to work with what you got. And you have a gorgeous, healthy NORMAL baby, who needs comfort and re-assurance in the night. Normal, normal, normal.

[Pip82]

Thanks everyone for their replies. And the

I'm finding it quite hard as I have no previous experience to build on. If I had a child already that was a night-waker but slept through at 18 months or 2 years whatever I think I would be less worried about it. I get so many people telling me different things. Last night was particularly bad although I don't get in bad moods about it (usually ha ha) I am knackered. My husband let me have a big sleep in til 930am yesterday which was gold! He also took DD out to Bunnings when I was sleeping to get a part for the toilet, which he fixed when I was still asleep.

I met somebody at a party the other day with an 8 month old who said she went to a sleeping course which used a form of controlled crying and now her baby sleeps all night most of the time. All this thinking about this hurts my brain!! I haven't fully developed my parenting philosoplies so blips like this are confusing.

Fiona can you tell me a bit more about how you gently encouraged your baby to self settle? I breastfeed my baby at night because I don't know if she needs it but give her the benefit of the doubt and don't want her to go to be hungry. I pat her to sleep at other times ie going to bed at night if she hasn't fallen asleep at the breast. Honestly I don't know what else to do.... have read the books by Dr. Sears which are good but the main themes seem to be co-sleeping (which I do after the first or second wake-up but she is very annoying to sleep with and I sleep worse with her next to me I think) and breastfeeding which I do too. She hasn't started eating properly yet so maybe when she is taking more food maybe she will sleep better and might not 'need' so many overnight feeds(am I delusional? ha ha).

Thanks again to everyone who replied, your words are reassuring and caring. Hope everybody's Christmas is wonderful.

Pip

[Ginger]

pip- have you tried checking out a couple of gentle parenting books to get some ideas? two i can recommend are:
'what every parent needs to know' by m sunderland and
'no cry sleep solution' by elizabeth panty

[*charmalea*]

i fed dd as many times a night as she needed , easy to pop a boob in and go back to sleep , we also co slept untill about 12mths . I went to a sleep school , and DD learned to put her self to sleep by crying , and it all went out the window once she got sick .

funny this thread came up , must be a sign to me as i had decided to CC with DD who is 16mths but i worry about her mental health when shes older .. i do the the book no cry sleep solution , i guess i should read it .
as today i put her down for a nap , and i let her cry it out , but boy , i got the guilts

but honestly go with the flow. find a way to teach her to self settle , and it will all be ok in the end . i do belive though , a restful nights sleep is so important , so even though a GP suggested CC , she did also mean that its important for you to sleep just as much as it is for a baby .

sleepandsettle website is a good one to check out as well . dont feel pressure to CC go with your instincs on a settling routine and look forward to a good nights sleep

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Pip, personally I feel that 7m is a bit too early to be going without BF and cuddles all night. I started motherhood with the knowledge that I wouldn't sleep at night for the first year, so I was a lot more relaxed about it. I think ANYONE telling you a baby "should" sleep through is lying to you. Some do, yes, but most don't.

When DS stopped wanting BF at night (took a quick sip but didn't go back to sleep on the breast... use it while you can, it's the best sleep-weapon in your arsenal!), I laid him across my chest and patted him to sleep. He could hear the heartbeat and smell the breasts: for him, that was reassuring him it was safe to sleep even without the feed.

After a few weeks of that, I patted him to sleep in his cot instead. He wasn't too happy, but wasn't crying about it. When he did get upset, I held him (and patted) until he calmed down, then laid him down again. He had stopped feeding to sleep at all at this point and was getting too heavy to go to sleep in my arms all the time. (I can still put him to sleep in my arms if I have to, but only as a one-off and not for a half-hour+ every night.)

HTH, I don't want to sound mean but all the expectation other people have of your baby sleeping all night doesn't help new mothers, I think!

[Pip82]

Thanks again everyone.

Lady Zaidie... No you don't sound mean at all, it is what I want/ need to hear! I don't really have any expectations of DD sleeping all night but everybody else seems to! Have had a good chat with DH who is very good really and he said anything I can do just tell me, so he is helping in the night and I get some sleepins too when I can. He looked up controlled crying on the internet and has decided that it is not right for us. (something which I had already decided but it is great to be on the same page)



Oh and I will see if my library has any of those books.

[Winter]

Hun, I highly recommend Elizabeth Pantley's books - No Cry Sleep Solutions. She gives you lots of ideas to try with the thought that you may find one or two that work for you and fit in with your paretnting style. They all focus on not letting the baby cry. I haven't got it all sorted yet, but I love it when I try something from her books and it works.

Keep in mind with all advice & tips that you are given, that if it doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't the right thing for you to be doing. Parent from an intuitive level, do whatever works for you & bubs and you'll be doing it "right".

Oh and there is not such thing as "should" when it comes to babies! Stop listening to the Should Police and you'll be much, much happier!!