I re read that now and it sounds so...difficult! Gosh how did we get into this mess, lol!
Jessica, I am really dreading doing it. I so hate to hear them crying, and to think that it will kinda be at my hand that they will be miserable will kill me. But I need to do it. We just can't go on the same way anymore. We really thought that it might resolve itself by now, particularly DD's waking. I thought at 2 1/2 she'd be sleeping through. And if she were, we would be able to handle DS's waking. But not both.
And this is why I have asked for suggestions, because although we have a lose plan, there are no details to it, just 'we HAVE to do this!'. So any suggestions are more than welcome! Writing down our goals somwhere we can see them is a great start I think. Thanks
I don't want to get rid of the dummies too, but DH does. Maybe we could do that now....or we could just get rid of them for day times. They will only be for sleeping. The blankies are staying, we don't mind the blankies, they aren't so much of a problem.
At least being so stressed, if it all goes more smoothly than I expect, then at least I won't have any expectations that might be dashed! And yes, consistency will be the key. That is the problem. DH will be able to do it. But me....I hate the sounds of them crying (as every mum does!), to the point I get anxiety...eeek!!!
Kim, thankyou hun, I know you have your own issues with sleeping at your house!
Anna, yes sleep deprivation is torturous. I am pretty sure it is a big contributing factor in why I feel so crappy and overly emotional all the time...
Weaning scares me too. I do love feeding my little man, but he's still feeding 5 or so times a day (as in 24hrs). And I really need sleep. If I can night wean him, then maybe he won't wake at night. It would mean 1-2 less times I have to wake up! And when I feed him at night I tend to stay awake for those 10-15mins til he's finished, unless I'm absolutely, horrifically dog tired, then I just fall asleep with him suckling away. So I just need to stop night feeds I think. Day time is ok!
Great idea to do it when DH will be off work and you'll have all hands on deck. I think 2 weeks is definitely long enough to crack the worst of it.
We successfully nightweaned our DS by having DH get up with him. He would just cuddle him and rock him until he fell back asleep. He cried for about 45 mins the first night for each waking (2? can't remember) and it reduced progressively each night. It took about 5 nights before he stopped crying altogether and it was about 2 weeks before he started consistently sleeping through. He was about 22 months old though, so a little older than your DS. At about 25 months or so he started nightwaking frequently again, and so ended back up in our bed. However, as soon as he was back with us he started sleeping through (11 hours) without fail, and has done for the last 6 months. For me, even though we didn't get our bed back, getting my body back and a full night's sleep made the world of difference to my own sanity and therefore the time and energy I had for our relationship. I think the reason DS started waking is that we also moved him from a mattress in our room into his own room at the same time.
If you do decide to stick with getting rid of the dummies at the same time, but then find that one/both are really not coping with all the changes, maybe you could bring them back into the picture while sticking with the rest of the plan. I don't really know because I have no dummy experience, but I'm just thinking that they might adjust quite well if they've still got their dummies but be absolute nightmares without them and make the whole thing really difficult to stick to, IYKWIM. You can always tackle the dummies at a later point once they've settled into the new status quo.
It'll be hard, but well worth it. Great idea to write your plan down. Maybe it'd help to have a couple of back-up compromises written into the plan so that if you're both at your wits end and about to cave, you can implement those rather than breaking from the plan altogether (like bringing the dummies back in). Maybe have a defined point when you'll implement compromises, like 'on the third night if the crying hasn't reduced in duration' or whatever you think you and your little ones can cope with. You probably wont even need these compromises coz it'll be getting progressively better each night, but if you've thought about the details, it'll help to keep you on track and know what to do if any hiccups arise.
When it gets hard, stick to your plan and just think of the blissful sleep that is in store when it's all over!!!!! I really hope it goes well for you.
It sounds like you are really struggling. I haven't been in such a difficult situation myself, but thought I would offer some support.
Whenever I have made changes it has taken me a long time to work up to it, but I think half the battle is making up your mind and sticking with it. My DD usually doesn't take long to adjust to changes, but consistency is the key.
Sounds like a great idea to tackle things when you both have some time. I was just thinking, is there anyone who could support you and look after the kids while you make these changes. Especially during the day if it has been a long night?
I think it'd help if you talk and fuss about the new room leading up too. Take them on a shopping trip for new doona covers and decorations for the room (let them choose) and then get them involved in putting it all together. Then you could have a countdown to the 'big-move' and talk about how great it is going to be having their own room. You could also do some playtime in there each day so they start using and liking the space, etc.
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