Heaven hon you're getting yourself twisted up into knots about this. Maybe try not to think so much and trust yourself. You know when she really needs you and you're there for her. And trust her - she'll let you konw when she really needs you.
As DS has gotten older we've left him to his own devices more and more. He cries a bit, but I know if he goes to sleep then he is ok - there's no way he'd sleep if he's distressed. And anyway, he is sure to let us know if he really needs us.
It sounds like she is figuring things out in the post-feed-to-sleep world - it'll take a little time but it sounds like she's fine and you're doing great.
:yeahthat: Perfectly said!

I think you're doing a great job