about to start ttc number 3! it feels different...
i was just thinking about the differences between ttc your first, second and third babies. for the first time i was super excited didnt know what laid ahead, I was are worried about labour and birth but i couldnt really imagine what it would be like so it was easy to put it out of my mind. I knew having a baby would change my life but again not exactly sure of the hows etc..
i found the second time was different again. i knew i wanted at least two children so it was kind of like a given that we would be doing it all over again. i went more into the science of it.. so learnt about ovulation and conception, how your body works and how to track things etc. charted, temp, cm all that stuff. it was exciting as well. this time round though, i knew wht was coming. i knew what was going to happen, i knew it wold hurt but i was determined to make it a better birth experience than first time round and was proud and relieved when it happend quicker and easier. i felt a bit guilty and unsure of how the second baby would affect my first baby and my husbands and my relationship. i knew what lay ahead with the trials of infancy etc but still i knew that i was going to do it and iwould cope.
after having two i didnt think i would want a third.
however, as time has gone on i am now of the opinion it is either now or never and i dont want to risk living in regret if we dont. howver i am finding thinking about ttc this time round and the prospect of birth, labour and adding a third child to our family a bit nerve wracking and anxiety provoking. (even though i DO want a third)...
i am much older than i was when i had my other babies, i worry about pregnancy and my health and how if i do become sick it could really affect the kids i already have. i worry that labour and birth the third time round wont be as nice as second time round and i will feel like a failure, be dissapointed seeing as though i felt such pride at getting it right second time round and not first. i had some complications with tearing/episiotomy with second birth that i have had fixed surgiucally last year and i am worried that this will become an issue again.
i worry about the dynamics of adding a third, will it be a negative thing for my kids and my husband? will i cope with a third?? will i be able to do the breastfeeding, teething, baby proofing, chained to the house, lack of freedom, etc etc etc ?
i do tend to be a bit of a worrier, so it is so typical of me to think negatively towards the furutre like that. i just find it interesting in regards to the difference in attitude/thinking about ttc throughout different. anyone else go through similar thought processes?
After all that worry do you still think you will regret not having a third baby? I think if you still answer yes then I think you will be ok. It is always normal to start doubting ourselves and what we are capable of.
yep, i would regret it and i do want another baby. we have pretty much made up our minds on that but i just dont remember feeling this much anxiety or uncertanty with the other kids, (there was a bit of worry but the list wasnt as long as it is now). i wonder if that is normal for third time ttc'ers?
I personally never felt it. I saw it as a new exciting chapter. The baby dynamics your worried about are things that only hppen for such a short period of time in the grand scheme. Think about things like the first smile, giggle, laught. The first night they sleep through, the first steps. Watching your 2 kids teach your bubba everything.
Think how pride you will be when you get it right again and when you rock your labour and birth. Try to add some positives into it. For all there is to worry about ther is so much to enjoy.
So true kazzo. Of course I do think of all the good stuff too. I think it just comes more naturally to me to think negatively. Something I need to work on. ;-) thanks for the reminder.
I had all those worries too. I was terrified that at my age the chances of something icky happening were significantly higher. How would it impact on my girls. Could we afford it without making a serious impact on our lifestyle. How would I manage being pregnant again with two very active little girls to care for (I get sick for 9 months). The list went on and on.
I had enormous doubts when we began TTC #3 but went with the belief that while we may regret not having a third baby, we would never regret one that was with us. I am so incredibly glad we went for it. My baby is lying on a mat on the floor at the moment. My middle girl is singing incy wincy spider to her while tickling her tummy. My eldest girl is holding a rattle thing over her head -I really wish she wouldn't because the chimes are driving me mental ;-) My #3 girl is the most perfect little person and she completes our family beautifully.
about to start ttc number 3! it feels different...
I had all those feelings and anxiety once we had decided to try for number three. He is currently lying asleep in my arms and all those thoughts are a distant memory
It's normal but it will pass and honestly number three just fits in perfectly, they have to.., life is too busy with the other two!!!
My partner and I are talking about trying for a third child, but haven't made a firm descision.
I also wonder about the things you mentioned above, numerous people who I have spoken to regarding extending the family to three children have told me it is a lot of work and to only do it if I am sure as it did change the dynamics of the family and one seems to be left out.
I myself came from a family of two so I don't really have any experience with an odd number of siblings.
I have two beautiful daughters who I wouldn't change for the world, but I would love a son.
I would love to hear others thoughts who have taken the step from two to three.
We recently had our third bub, as after our second son was born I just knew I wasn't finished. It did take DH a while to think it through and decide to TTC #3 but he ultimately gave it the green light (to my joy!).
I was more concerned about conceiving given my age (38 going on 39 at the time), and it did actually take nearly 12 months - including four (failed) clomid cycles and the assistance of accupuncture/chinese herbs (which did the trick).
Then when I did conceive I discovered I had progesterone issues, which I didn't have with my first two kids. Fortunately the progesterone pessaries were sufficient, and I went on to have a successful pregnancy. I was glad to have the 12-week and 20-week scans out of the way, as while I didn't exactly worry about issues with the bub, it was peace of mind to know bub was as healthy as could be expected from u/s and BTs alone.
My next concern was whether an Ob would consider me higher risk because of my age ... and for this reason I ditched going private to go public. For whatever reason, I just felt like I'd be treated as more "normal" in the public system. There was probably no basis for this thinking - I was/am healthy, around the right weight for my height and not had an issue with previous pregnancies/births. Regardless, I was happy to go public this time and save some $ along the way.
DS3's birth was fabulous, the midwives were brilliant and all-in-all my pregnancy care and birth was great.
As for the dynamic of three, well ... we're still finding our feet. My other two boys are almost 5 (in March) and 3 next month. Some days it's completely chaotic, particularly when DS3 can't settle very well and/or catnaps and DS1 and DS2 are being rowdy and/or naughty. And there are times I could pull my hair out. But as I said, we're learning and we'll get there.
The main thing though, is that when I snuggle my dear little DS3 I know we made the right decision to have three. Yes, I would have loved a little girl (didn't set my heart on it though) but my littlest boy is an absolute delight. His two older brothers virtually smother him with love, and while both definitely attention seek a little more than usual at the moment, they keep telling me (spontaneously) that they love their baby brother. And given my three boys are all aged under 5, I'm hoping that they'll be good mates.
So for our family, having three kids has so far been the right move. Sometimes I catch myself thinking "awww, he's my last and I'll never go through this again", but in my heart-of-hearts I know I'm happy with three.
I have decided 30 is my age cut off for having children (which is in two years time).
I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old so if we take the step and have another, I will also have three children under 5. My oldest is becoming more independent which is wonderful as I also had concerns about being able to manage with so many little ones. I did want to have my children close together so they will be good friends as well. My sister and I were close in age growing up and it was wonderful.
I suppose family dynamics are something that will change constantly as the family members get older.
After I had my second baby I had already decided three weeks after she was born that I wanted another one. I think I have starting thinking about all the practicalities too much.
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about to start ttc number 3! it feels different...
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