Chart, symptoms... its all doing my head in!

[Moondance]

2:35am...
I'm still awake because I can't sleep due to nausea and vomiting!

It's too early at all for that stuff, way too early!!! I don't know whats happening to me anymore.

I don't even have anyone IRL I can talk to about this because my family isn't allowed to know I'm ttc!
Feeling very very alone right now!

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Your chart looks inconclusive to me, but if it helps any I had horrid, erratic periods whenever I wasn't on the Pill and settled down to 42ish day cycles when I came off the Pill: the cycle before I conceived was a 56-day cycle with LOADS of pg symptoms, the cycle I did fall pg was slightly shorter and gave me no conclusive pg symptoms at all! Good luck for either being pg or getting pg in the very near future.

[Ysabell]

Moondance - if You don't mind me asking, why can't you tell anyone IRL about you TTC? ARe you keeping it a surprise? Or are you worried that people will think you and DH are moving to fast? Or you don't know anyone to talk to about this? I'm so sorry you don't have anyone to talk to IRL - I don't either, mainly because I'm keeping it as a surprise from my parents (we're gonna walking into their place with my ultrasound taped to my stomach hehehe), and I only have 1 friend that has kids, and she didn't have nay trouble concieving.

As for your Q - I'm sorry I can't help you, I'm new to all this too

[Moondance]

Moondance - if You don't mind me asking, why can't you tell anyone IRL about you TTC? ARe you keeping it a surprise? Or are you worried that people will think you and DH are moving to fast? Or you don't know anyone to talk to about this? I'm so sorry you don't have anyone to talk to IRL - I don't either, mainly because I'm keeping it as a surprise from my parents (we're gonna walking into their place with my ultrasound taped to my stomach hehehe), and I only have 1 friend that has kids, and she didn't have nay trouble concieving.

As for your Q - I'm sorry I can't help you, I'm new to all this too

Well, my family would probably say DH and I are moving too fast, but I don't feel we are, nor does he. He's 45 years old, and he wants to have a child, and I feel I'm at a prime time at my age of 28 to be doing it (yes, I know, there is a big age gap, but I don't think that matters when two people are as closely bonded as we are).
My dad has constantly said everytime I'm with my partner "don't come home pregnant" and he's not joking, I know he'd get angry, so when I do finally conceive, I'm just going to tell him it was an accident and accidents happen, if I told him I did it on purpose, he'd be really angry. I'm his "little girl", the youngest... etc etc.

I've told people a couple times that my periods are a week late, and they immediately start freaking out going "oh no, thats not good!" and panicking about me being pregnant, so its a bit of a pain, I mean, gee people, what about the "congratulations"

[Moondance]

Threw up again today...
After I ate lunch I felt really sick and nauseous.... and then felt tired, so I went to lay down. Fell asleep for an hour and a half, woke up, went outside and we have a shared driveway, was going down the driveway into our yard and had to stop and throw up onto the grass.

[Moondance]

Am totally over this confusion and stuff.

For no good reason I can fathom I'm really emotional. On FB, my sister made a comment that watching her step-daughters child born was the most rewarding experience of her life, and she didn't mention her own kids, so I asked to clarify, because if it was me saying what she said and I had kids, I would have said "next to having my own children, it was the most rewarding experience of my life" but she didn't and I asked to clarify (yes, being a bit dumb blonde I guess, don't know why my brain just isn't working) so she got stroppy and started swearing and abusing me.
Normally I'd just get irritated and say 'game on' and turn around and fly abuse right back, but no, not today, I sit here like a wounded puppy CRYING!!!! I don't cry about this stuff!

[Moondance]

Have you ever had a random thought enter your head, but within seconds of it being there, you're just convinced its true?

Having a little break earlier to read for awhile, I got this sudden thought in my head that sent me into despair.... the thought said "don't bother going to the doctor for a blood test next week, you're not pregnant" and within a second, I became convinced its true and now I'm sitting here, once again emotional and wanting to cry.

It just... it seems to me like I couldn't get that lucky, it couldn't be that easy, not ever, this is me we're talking about. I'm having irrational hatred for all those teenage mums who get pregnant so easily, and wishing it could be that easy for me. And I'm having even more irrational hatred for all the teenagers who so easily get pregnant and have abortions and throw such precious life away.

I'm going crazy.