I can't tell dh!!!

I seem to have a sixth sense. I knew the night we dtd I would be pg that month- I went outside after and it was a full moon. A week later we had a MASSIVE fight- I said again I would be pg and well I was.

It was a rollercoaster until at 9w we lost our angel.

2 cycles on at 8dpo I got a bfp...... BUT I've had this before - FR gave me a single false bfp last Easter. I'm too scared to do another test because I don't know if I can handle a bfn and I can't tell dh because I really don't know how upset he was about the mc and if I got a bfn would it upset him? If I got another bfp how do I tell him? I'm at the point of keeping it secret as long as I can but already I feel alone and confused - but not enough to tell him.

I just want a bub- no bf anythings no scheduled bding no ms no stress no ultrasounds (they completely freak me out and did with dd1 after the mc I don't know if I even want one at all).

Maybe I'm just over reacting..... Being a sook


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