Hi All,

I'm a long-time reader, first time poster
Have you got a cuppa? You might need one, my post is a touch long becasue I'm another new and confused girl looking for answers, and most of all re-assurance, I think.

I’m 30 and hubby is 37 and we’ve been trying since August 09. Before then I’d been on the Pill since about 2002 and a lot of the time skipped the placebo so would only get AF when it was convenient for me.
Since coming off the Pill (last August), AF had been pretty regular – around 30-31 days, until January… January came and went with no sign of AF but I was nauseous, had sore, tender boobs, tired and bloated. I gave it the obligatory 2 week wait then by the time I went to get the HPT, AF was back – right at the time she would be due if everything was going according to plan (or what I thought was my plan) – 31 days after when AF was due to arrive in January.
So AF is back on time in February and back with vengeance!!
I don’t know what happened but something weird happened. AF was really heavy (not usual for me), I had really bad cramps (and I’ve never had period cramps!), I was doubled over in pain, crying. I took a Neurofen plus and managed to fall asleep/pass-out. When I woke half hour later, I felt much better, <<TMI warning>> went to the loo and it was like the AF was just pouring out of me. Then this thing just came out – no idea what it was, about the length of a finger, thickness of whiteboard marker, like a mass of tissue/lining, I don’t know. I felt much better after that, no more cramps.

Another 31 days later, no AF in March and this time we do test and it’s a BFN And now is when it’s starting to niggle at me. The whys? And whats? are constantly going around in my head. Then 31 days after AF was due in March she arrives in April like clock-work. This time, no pain, cramps, A-OK. Except for the fact I feel like crap because if she’s here, then what I want is not…

Come May. No AF on her ‘due’ date. I start to think, I getting used to this: AF every second month. The questions keep doing rounds in my head – does it mean my cycle is 62 days or does it mean I’m only ovulating on 1 side?? Then BAM! Out of the blue 46 days after AF in April, she’s back and I’m devastated.

We’ve been counting the '14 days after AF’ to pin-point my O date, but that’s not working cause we’re still not pregnant. I was going to buy ‘Maybe Baby’ but from reading about the experience of other users, I’m not sure I want to outlay that kinda money… We’re putting off going to the doctors for now because we haven’t been trying for a year yet. And I know it’s stupid, but I don’t really want to see a doctor yet, because I guess it means that we have a ‘problem’ whereas at the moment, we still just ‘trying’. And all around me everyone is falling pregnant, I feel like I get another dagger in my heart every time someone shares their happy news…

Also (this is stupid question): does being really susceptible to cystitis affect your ability to conceive? I have to have a pee within ½ hour of DTD, otherwise I start to get the symptoms of cystitis. Am I wiping away what I preciously need!?

Like I said, I’m confused. If anyone out there has any answers or re-assurance please send it my way and thanks for reading my about the last 5 months of my life.

Toni.