Im sorry you are very confused, I dont have alot of advice as Im new to everything as well, but if this is causing you so much angst maybe go to the dr and just discuss your concerns they maybe able to recommend something to assist you to work out your dates etc, it doesnt necessarily mean there is anything wrong with you. Who knows might even pay to have a check-up make sure nothing else (health related) is not affecting your TTC journey. It might just be all the stress from it all that AF is being even more nasty than usual.
In regards to the cystitis I used to be a really really bad sufferer to, but found that Cranberry vitamin tablets help keep them to a minimum and also drinking lots and lots of water, Im not a big coffee drinker, usually have one or two a week as well as I only allow myself one can of coke a day. I was told this all helps and I beleive it does, so maybe worthwhile giving that a shot, if you are not already doing that.
In regards to the "wiping away the good stuff" I have been told its good to stay in bed for 1/2 hour - 45 minutes to just relax and enjoy everything, but I find if I go to the toilet before DTD (ie. go before getting in bed lol) then Im usually alright for an hour or two after DTD before I need to go again...sorry if TMI too.
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