i have a 19 month age gap between my ds's my patner asked when ds1 was 2 weeks old if we could have another, i told him we will think about it when he was one, on his first birthday i was a month utd with ds2, the age gap between the boys is great, we were realy happy with the 2, i think the fact that ds1 is and always has been a easy going child, nothing realy 'fazes' him, made it realy easy.
however, i now have a 13 month gap with my daughters, and it has been realy difficult as dd1 is still a baby herself and is extramly dependant, and 'clingy' she is slowly becoming better with dd2, but has quiet a few moments of screaming tantys if myself or df have dd2, and she suddenly decides that she wants us instead.
i think it depends on your little one and her 'outlook' so to speak. it dose get easier as time gose on, kids are prety resiliant and usualy adjust well to changed situations.
what ever your decission you make, it is your decission. i hope you find the answer thats right for you.
I have 22mths between each #1 and #2 and #3, there will be a slightly bigger gap with #4 (26mths) due mainly to physical and mental reasons.
It is hard physically when they are young, and you are dealing with a new baby. But the 'new baby' becomes the easy part, because you have been through that before - it is the new ages and stages that test you. I wouldn't trade it for the world, because they do all paly so well together and learn so much from each other that they simply can not learn on their own. The funny thing is that just before I found out about #2 (a real oppsy baby), DH and I had just decided to have a BIG (10yr) gap between the first and the second). I guess God had other ideas.
There really is no right or wrong answer to any of this. Your fears and anxieties are normal, and based on some truths, but the other truths about the positives are also real.
I have 18 months between my DD's. I knew when DD1 was 6months old that I wanted to start trying for #2. It took us 5 cycles to get a BFP. DD1 is a very easy going girl. Takes everything in her stride. DD2 is now 4 months old and I still have not had any issues of jealousy from DD1. She loves her sister to pieces. She understands when I have DD2 that she has to wait. I just make sure that DD1still gets lots of attention when I can.
As for worrying about loving another child. For me I worried abit at about 20wks pregnant about this. but I soon realised that you don't take any love away from anyone, you just find more love.
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