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Thread: Trying to be positive

  1. #1

    Default Trying to be positive

    Hi guys,
    Another rough day in the world of TTC. The days just seem to be ticking by so slowly and i'm not even sure i'm ovulating because i'm definetly not pregnant. I'm taking it out on my poor husband.
    My sister in law has just announced she is pregnant after only TTC for 2 months and she had endo. While i'm so very happy for her it is hard not to be dissapointed that it's not me. I know that sounds a bit selfish but i can't help wondering why is it not happening for us ](*,) .
    Everyone says it will happen but i'm not so sure .
    I'm so sorry to dump it on you guys but it is really nice to have you guys to talk to and judging each other. Anyone else having a rough time??


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Perth WA
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    Hey Nurse Dan,
    I am sorry to hear about your troubles. We are not yet TTC, but I feel so envious of all those pregnant women out there, or those with little bubs. It is hard when people around you fall pregnant, seemingly without effort, and you just have to sit back and take it! Think positive, and know that I send you lots of hugs and baby vibes!


  3. #3

    Join Date
    Feb 2004
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    Just moving to General Conception...

  4. #4

    Join Date
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    You're not dumping anything on us - we are all here to offer support and advice. Sometimes it just doesn't seem fair when someone else gets what we want, but you just have to move on and think positively to when you will get what you want. As for taking it out on your DH, well we all do that sometimes, it is so hard not to get upset. But I know you will get your BFP soon :flower:

  5. #5

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    Nurse Dan - your not dumping it on us, it's best to get these feelings out. It's hard when everyone around you tells you to just wait, relax, it will happen. I understand how you are feeling. It is also hard when those close around us fall pregnant and there is nothing selfish or wrong about how you are feeling with your sister in laws annoucement. You want a baby of your own and it just hasn't happened. I believe it is very healthy to acknowledge you are feeling like this, holding it inside is only going to cause you harm. Us girls at BB are always here so feel free to vent as much as you like, we understand.

    For me I have found it is best to work through all the emotions I am feeling at different times. I talk to my DH about my frustrations & he talks to me about his. As much as we both long to hold a baby in our arms this long ttc journey we have been on has only made us stronger as a couple and I know when the day comes that we do hold a baby in our arms it will make us better parents.

    Try to stay positive, which I know is hard sometimes. Your BFP will be here soon

  6. #6

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    Hi guys,
    A really big thank you for your support =D> . You guys bought tears to my eyes (bloody hormones!!).
    It is really good to hear that i'm not going crazy.
    I've got lots of dust: :bdust: thoughts and wishes for every single one of us and i'm sprinkling it everywhere.
    Everyone of us is going to get our any day now.
    We're going to get through this [-o< .

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    AUSTRALIA
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    The TTC journey can be very frustrating, especially when other family/friends are becoming pregnant at the same time.
    Defaintly not going crazy. Its just very hard when you know you are doing everything in your power for it to happen, yet it doesnt.

  8. #8

    Default

    Hugs to you, Nurse Dan. I'm not going to get my BFP for years and years, yet that doesn't stop the envy thing that often flashes through my mind when I see another preggie person or children. Focus on the positives - you have a lovely DH, you will have your children and you have this lovely place to get support from. I hate announcements of pregnancies and babies that aren't mine. I'd go and sabotage the condoms right now if I thought I'd have sex at some point in the future that needed condoms.

    Throwing babydust over you!

  9. #9
    *TamaraP* Guest

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    Nurse Dan, seriously we have all been were you are right now... I go through it everymonth when AF arrives.

    I dread the day I get an announcement that my SIL is pregnant, I can't stand her and it would just make my blood boil.

    I have been TTC for 9months. Had 1 miscarriage and 2 chemical pregnancies, so I know how hard it is to see a BFN everymonth.

    It will happen for us soon, I know it will.

    (((hugs)))

    inkdust:

  10. #10

    Default nurse dan

    Hi Nurse Dan,
    Please feel free to 'dump' on us anytime because all of us need to at some stage.
    Just remember that we are all ttc on here and no how heartbreaking it can be.
    DH and I have been ttc for nearly 10 months now and yes some months are tougher than others but you have to try and look at the positives.
    I keep thinking this is happening for a reason - like waiting this long will make us really great parents because we will really want this bub.etc.
    SIL well tell me about them, I have 2 and they have both had two kids and one just recently and I'm not especially fond of her and it was really hard not to be jealous, but hey none of us are perfect.
    Good luck to you.
    J

  11. #11

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    Thanks Tamara and J - good to know I'm not the only one who has these SiL problems! I don't like mine much and she has a 3-month old baby. With my SiL, when BiL told DH about it and DH told me I think I spent about a week crying whenever I didn't distract myself. And I felt (and was made to feel) awful for feeling like that, so it's good to hear I'm not the only person not to be overjoyed their dreadful SiL is having a baby.

    Nurse Dan - sorry for jacking your thread a bit, but sometimes it feels the boat you're in is so small it's nice to know you can share it. I think you're on the cruise liner, so we will all sympathise and you're not dumping, it's always good to hear there are others like you and you're not all that freaky after all.

  12. #12

    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    Bright
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    Hi Nurse Dan. I know exactly how you are feeling. I've been TTC for 4 years now. I have no known problems, DH is fine, it just a matter of not ovulating on my own every single month. Clomid has helped that. Anyway the reason i popped in is to say that last november (just a week after what i think was a very early m/c) my SIL announced that she was pregnant. I was an absolute mess. My mum tried to tell me to be happy for them and that they too had been trying for ages. After i had calmed down ( about a week later) I asked my mum how long they had been trying for, and she told me 2 months. YOu could imagine my reaction. I totally stopped all contact with her and my brother and it came to the stage where it nearly wreaked our family....

    SHe is now 6 months pregnant and i am only now able to come to terms with it and actually spend time with her. Even feel excited about it. SOme days i feel like it's an effort to be nice, but i can't change anything, and this is something i've learned the hard way. We can't control our emotions, and yes, it is sooooo hard when TTC and all of a sudden you notice pregnant women everywhere.

    Let it all out.....and do what you feel is best for you. They way i'm looking at it is that even though i haven't had kids of my own, i've worked in early childcare, and had many friends who have let me do what i want with their newborns (except obviously breastfeed them LOL), and i know that my SIL has NEVER been around babies and is going to need all the help she can get.... and i would like nothing more than to be that person that she can call up if she needs help with my niece or nephew.

    Hope this helps a little bit, and if it didn't then it was a good post for me to get things off my chest.

    Thank you either way.... and good luck with making your own little one..

  13. #13

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    NZ
    Posts
    38

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    nurse Dan!
    I think you feel exactly as most do on this forum-that's why we're here!
    One of my closest friends is currently 6m pregnant with #2-both conceived in first month of trying, no problems with miscarriages etc.
    I find out this time when she was 16w...and definately showing. She wanted to tell me face to face, and as we were away overseas for 4w and with it being Xmas etc, we had a gap of not seeing her which i now know was between her being 8 and 16w. Soooo I find out when she opens her front door when we arrive to stay with her for a long weekend.....an obvious bump and glowing mum to be. That was one of the hardest weekends. Luckily DH is so understanding, and helped me thru' it. But I have to say, i've not seen her as much as I would normally, but hopefully i'll work thru' this.
    Keep trying to be positive

  14. #14

    Default

    Hi guys :smt039 ,
    Today is a good day in the world of TTC (a complete 180 from the other day). My DH and I had a huge d & m at 2 in the morning and i feel like the biggest weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
    I was always majorly worried how he would react if we couldn't have kids but he said we'd hold each other, have a cry together and then take the biggest european holiday and be thankful that we have each other.
    We are going to have a month off TTC and enjoy being married.
    I love my DH.
    Wishing lots of dust: :bdust: for those TTC and :bluestick: inkstick: for those who have gotten the all elusive
    Once again thanks for all your words of advice. Joining BB has been the best move of my TTC journey :smt041
    Have a great day guys,
    Dan.

  15. #15

    Default

    Dan, I am so glad you and your DH shared your feelings with each other and that weight has been lifted off your shoulders. You sound like you feel much better and that is just fantastic. Your DH sounds like a wonderful man, it's times like this when our husbands give us exactly what we need that we know we have chosen the right man to spend our lives with

    I hope you and your DH have a nice relaxing month off from ttc and I am sure we'll see you announcing your BFP in here really soon.

    xox

  16. #16

    Join Date
    Sep 2004
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    Dan, that is wonderful that you and DH have had that discussion, because unfortunately it is one that sometimes needs to be had. It will certainly elp you through this journey knowing that you have a man who is supportive and loves you regardless.

    Enjoy the time off and take the time to look after yourself emotionally. Hang in there, matey.

  17. #17

    Join Date
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    Dan im so glad you had that talk with your hubby.

    i know its gets so hard at the best of times and it is fantastic to be able to hear little things like those comments from our hubbys at much needed times.

    sometimes they forget to speak about things and try to keep things inside.

    encourage him to talk openly about it all with you and you'll find its much easier to cope.

    best of luck darling, you have heaps of support here too.

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