TTC Consequent Babies
Just wanted to see if I am normal or not, LOL. Always helpful to get reassurance.
I find myself changing my mind every day (sometimes several times a day) as to whether we are doing the right thing TTC #2.
This time around I find myself kind of hoping for AF to come but still excited about the possibilities??
I do want another baby... I'm just not sure if this is the right time. But, then, I don't want to wait to long (given the fact it took us 12 months to conceive Gab and that I want to have all my children before I am 30). Arrgh! There's just so many variables!
We are about to move 2.5 hours away and I am not sure if I want to be suffering with M/S in the beginning stages of starting a life within a new community. How am I meant to get to know people if I feel like I am going to hurl all the time?? Also, it would be handy to be able to socialise and have a few drinks so that we can get to know people. But, then, I am sure I will get to know people through other means like playgroup, school (doing emergency teaching) etc.
Is it wrong that I'm not as excited about TTC#2? I was devastated each month when I got a BFN before Gabby. I soooooo badly wanted a baby. Now I feel like I can take it or leave it - esp. if I've had a rough day/night with Miss Gabrielle.
Urrgh... I annoy myself sometimes!
I've talked to Neil about it. As usual, he's not fussed one way or the other. He suggested that we don't actively TTC but leave it up to fate. Then I worry that if I don't chart and give ourselves a good chance, that I might miss our window, iykwim??
BellyBelly Life Subscriber
Tough one Deb!
You've probably listed more reasons to hold off than ones to go for it now but I understand your concern that you don't want to leave it too long. Maybe just hold off a little while until you settle in your new surroundings - it might be all the stress and nerves associated with the move that's making you not as excited at the moment. Once all that settles down you may feel your 100% ready!
Good luck with your decision!!! A very difficult one that only really you can make!
Life Member
Awwwwwwww Deb sweet girl........reading your post was like reading my own thought patterns over TTC before I got pg with Charlie.......honestly, it is SO NORMAL to feel like that.
LIke you, it took us a fair while to concieve Olivia, and I knew we had to get cracking for #2, plus I really did want #2, but we also had a wedding date set, and knew we were moving interstate, so timing was tricky/inconvenient.....plus I did have niggling doubts about my ability to cope/my ability to fall in love with another baby as much as I loved Olivia.
When I got a BFP for Charlie, I was in shock and I was terrified at first and thought "OMG what have we done???"......but that quickly passed, I promise. As soon as I heard his heartbeat for the first time I was smitten.
Looking back, I had all the fears you talk about. But now when I look at him and he grins at me and when I see him and Olivia playing and laughing at each other, God, it rocks my world......promise. xx
SO don't let you feelings annoy you, chart away, shag your brains out, worry about the practicalities as they happen......
Registered User
Oh Deb, thanks for posting this thread! Im with you 100%! One minute im absolutely sure im ready for #2, then as you said we have a rough night or Hendrix is in a mood and i think am i bonkers? We have just moved into a 3 bedroom house and there is lots of room then i think we will be overflowing again!
Lucy - your post was reassuring and made me excited about our decision, Deb i hope you are feeling the same.
x
Life Member
I meant to add.......Olivia REALLY has her moments as a toddler, and Charlie is a trash-it 1 year old who knows no fear, so it IS tough, BUT I am constantly amazed at a Mummies ability to cope, and cope with a smile......it IS hard work, but not scary melt-down hard IYKWIM? You just get into a whole new groove............
Life Member
Far out, I have no idea why......I cling on by the skin of my teeth some days!!!!Although, i do have you in my 'super mum basket'
Registered User
Deb, your post has mirrored alot of my own feelings, but the difference is I am in 2 minds about TTC for #3!
I have posted about this as well, but I have a very very full on 2 and a half year old and a 5 month old who is great but can have his moments.
We have only just had 2 good nights after a couple of weeks of bad nights, but I hear you Lucy - when they make each other smile and laugh you forget about everything else except how gorgeous they are!
I could probably list about 10 reasons not to have another yet and only a couple of why we should now - Cause I really really want to!
I am also in 2 minds when AF comes, I panic if I think I might be and then I get really really dissapointed when I am not! So never fear, you are not alone, even when thinking about TTC No 3,4 or 5!!!!
Life Member
So true. I had a bit of "a moment" earlier on today.......we were driving back from swimming, and I had Olivia and Charlie in the back holding hands across their car seats, both singing "Sing a Rainbow" (Well, Olivia was singing, Charlie was just laughing and carrying on and kicking his litle chubby legs) and they were both so happy and adorable I cried like a big soppy Mummy.......when they make each other smile and laugh you forget about everything else except how gorgeous they are!
Registered User
Lucy, I am so slow, but I only just realised you are having No 3! How do you feel about 3 little ones? I really am desperate to have another!
Administrator
Deb over the 2 years of TTC even though I desperately wanted another baby I *still* had those feelings, and we ended up with a four year gap and I think I still worried up until little Seth popped out LOL!
Perfectly normal
You'll do great!
*hugs*
Cailin
Life Member
Relle, I will be honest, B3 wasn't planned at all......I was still fully BF Charlie and on the mini-pill. It was a shock at first, and I was terrified, but now I am excited and can't wait. I KNOW it'll be hard work, and I know they will all drive me batty, and I do feel a slight "loss of self" at times because I have been pg or bf for bloody ages now, wheras I was a "high powered career chicky", but I waited a LONG time to be a Mummy, so kind of see it as fate now......my "career" is to be a Mummy, might as well be a Mummy to 3 and try and do the best job of parenting we can.......
(I am also v.lucky that I can work from home, and have an incredibly supportive and team-work orientated and sexy DH who keeps me sane too, plus great support both online and IRL from friends!)
BellyBelly Life Subscriber
Very interesting to hear all of your situations. I guess with us we didn't think about it really. I just went off the pill when Louis was 9m and hey presto we're having no.2!! hehe. I was seriously thinking it would take a lot longer considering af had not returned and I am still b/f but obviously it's meant to be.
I really haven't even considered yet what it will be like to have another bubba when Louis is only 18m....I guess however the situation is we'll deal with it. I'm really looking forward to it though and I'm sure they'll be great friends as they grow up.
Lucy - The kids sound absolutely gorgeous! I would have cried as well!
Registered User
I hear you! Now I don't feel so bad about running hot & cold for ttc #2! At the moment though I'm pretty keen for #2. Lately I wonder how on earth we conceived #1? And did it really happen? It all seems like a blur to me!! I kind of can't imagine being pregnant again!! I mean, wow, it's an amazing thing, could we be so blessed again?
Awww thanks guys.
Gabby needs me right now so I will come back and reply properly but I just wanted you all to know that I reeeeeealllly appreciate all of these responses!!
Registered User
I can understand your mixed feelings. For my part, I have an illness which is normally treated with medication. But unfortunately that medication can be dangerous to an unborn child so my decision is pretty much a) do I want to take meds or b) do I want my "last" baby. I've also got the disadvantage of age because I'm pushing 40. So do I not take the meds and run the risk of making my illness even hard to live with or b) do I take the meds, put of ttc and run the risk of declining fertility AND increased risk of birth defects?
And then of course, I already have two sons with quite severe AHDH and other conduct disorders and my lifestyle is pretty hectic and would require some major "rejigging" for another baby.
I've made my decision for now though and the gameplan is to ttc until my next big Dr's appointment in November at which time, if I'm not already pg, I will start medication. Then after a sensible period of time on the meds, I'll start asking myself the same questions and evaluate whether the meds have done what it is hoped that they will do, and then decide whether or not to go off them and ttc #4 living child.
Good luck. It's really a head vs heart situation and there will never be a "wrong" decision or a "right" time!
Lisa
Kristie - probably a good idea there... hold off for a little while until we are settled. It'll more than likely take us a while anyway... well, that's what I figure after taking a while to conceive Gab. Oh... and Gab is 17 months now and I reckon it's a good age and Louis will probably love having a bubby around. Gab loves babies!
LOL Lucy! You're a riot. You're probably on the money tho. I tend to over-think sometimes. It's good to know that you've lived to tell the tale tho... considering you had the same fears and worries! AND Awwwwwww @ Olivia and Charlies 'moment'.... too cute!SO don't let you feelings annoy you, chart away, shag your brains out, worry about the practicalities as they happen......
Fletch - we could definitely umm and ahh for years, hey? Good 'ole procrastination! It's just so scary thinking of morning sickness, heartburn, lack of sleep (due to pregnancy, Gabby and then the new baby... just basically no sleep, LOL). I've also been enjoying a couple of drinks every now and then - tho I don't think I'll miss the grog as much 2nd time around. I reckon I mourned bourbon when I got preggo with Gabby, LOL.... the sad booze-hag that I used to be!!
Heather - I'm glad I am not the only one!!
Cailin - I had no idea you had the same worries! I guess we worry-warts can't help ourselves, hey?
Shell - I agree with you! So much of my experience with TTC Gab and having Gab has become blurry. I'm not good at remembering the finer details! But I guess that's a good thing sometimes
Lisa - wow... you really do have quite a dilemma there! Sending loads of baby dust so that you can get preggo and have the decision made for you!
Well... AF has been really late! I have been having 25-26 day cycles but I am now on CD 30. I had spotting on CD26 and assumed that AF was here but nothing since! I did a preg test on Sunday but got a BFN and I have fiiiinallly got more spotting. So it looks like AF is definitely on her way.... 5 days late! I am VERY relieved. I wasn't really ready yet. So, yeah... I guess the answer is to hold off for another couple of months until we are more settled.
Registered User
Debbie Lee, I am glad that Af has arrived if you didn't feel ready for No 2. It is amazing isn't it that sometimes we need that "little scare" to figure out what it is that we are ready for.
Me on the other hand, I think I have well and truly got myself into it this time!!!!! I fell preggo with Nos 1 & 2 really easily, so found it really weird when I have had 2 unsuccessful cycles so far, but I have a sneaking suspicion that this one might have hit the jackpot!
Lucy - I might have to come and join you on my "not so nice days" if this does turn out to be the one!
Ooo sounds exciting, Relle! And how nice that you haven't had to wait a long time to conceive any of your kids. I wouldn't wish LTTTC on anyone! You're right tho... sometimes that little scare is just what we need to confirm how we feel. All I could think of were the negative things... and that's not what I want! I want to be excited to be pregnant... not terrified!! LOL
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