Hey Debbie, sorry for coming in late on this post, but I am feeling similar to ttc#2. Age wise I don't want to be too much older to have another baby, also I would like Maggie to be close in age with her brother/sister.
At the same time though, I sometimes think that I am not ready. My bookkeeping has only just taken off and I am picking up clients, so I would like to give them a decent amount of time, before either having to take some time off for the birth or having to drop one if the work load becomes too much. Also Maggie still does not sleep well and I wonder how I will cope. I would like to lose a bit more weight first etc, the list goes on.
Saying all that though, I am a procrastinator, so I could always find a reason not to TTC, even though we do want another child.
Apparently in about 7 months I will be a qualified midwife - yikes!
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Oh Debbie Lee, it is exciting, but all so scary as well!!!! I have had so many people tell me not to do it when I tell them I really want another one, but it doesn't seem to matter what I tell myself, I just keep wanting to be pregnant!
Believe me I know I am very very lucky. My eldest sister has had to undergo IVF for all 3 of her children, so I totally expected to have similar problems to her, but it turns out I am more like my Mum, whereas she is like both of my grandmothers. My parents are both the only natural children in their families, so infertility was a huge concern for me
Astrid - I reckon that's another tough thing. You just start getting back a bit of a life (you with your book keeping and me with my teaching) so it's a bit hard to fathom giving it all up again... or letting others down. But, you're right... we can find all the reasons in the world NOT to!
Relle - wow... any wonder you were once worried about infertility. It's heartbreaking (and I barely know the half of it!). Cooper and this next bub will certainly be close in age! It's definitely a good thing tho. My younger 2 sisters are 16 months apart and they are extreeeemely close.
Urrgh.. the more I think about it now the more I want another baby!! See... I keep swinging back and forth! Poor Neil!! LOL
Apparently in about 7 months I will be a qualified midwife - yikes!
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LOL - I am exactly the same! Someone can talk to me twice on the same day and I will be saying that I will wait in the morning, and then by the afternoon I am adamant that I want to be pregnant again NOW ! not tomorrow but now! lol
Yeah, If we are successful this cycle they will be 14 months apart!!!! It will be a challenge
Hehehe, thanks, Sarah!
See... this is why I want you to get that BFP soon... so you can go thru it all before me and pave the way!!!
Told ya... purely selfish!!
Hi Deb
I'm also currently TTC #2..just started this month - and ur right, it is a very scary thing and DH and i could spend forever thinking about it and worrying about the right decision... but i know deep down that this is what i REALLY want for my family.
I never thought i'd want my chn close together but now that i have Ella i would LOVE to give her a sibling to share her life with and i'm just now at the point of it being a reality and am overwhelmed with excitement as well as fear of disappointment if it doesn't happen soon.
I think that any new and life-changing decision is going to take a while to feel right...sometimes we just need to take the plunge! Hope u feel more assured about ur decision soon
Kate I totally agree with you! My brother and I are 18 months apart and we are such good friends - we have a lot of the same friendship groups growing up which Mum loved!
We are TTC number #2 and its amazing how many people have told me "are you sure you know what you are doing...its hard work etc etc" - there aren't too many people being positive about it which surprises me. As you said you KNOW it will be hard work - I reckon close together is awesome - hard at first but even better later on! Bring it on!
Its great to hear the up side! It definitely helps with relating to each other - cos you go through things at around the same time. I am all for sibling friendships - there is nothing closer than that in terms of friendships.
Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well - not long to go now! I am sure it will fly
Oooh thats what I hope will happen with my bubbas! I've always wanted mine close together! I haven't heard heaps of positive opinions on having them close but I'm so excited! I hope they are great friends especially when their older!
Kate - I don't think you're nuts. I agree that it'll be hard work (but, then, it's hard work no matter when you have your kids, I reckon) but, you're right. When they are older it'll be that much eeeasier! You do come out the other end with a stack of rewards!
It's definitely each to their own and I think it's wonderful that those of you who would like kids close together have the courage of your convictions and just go ahead and do it despite all the negative comments. Good job!!
I went back and forth on it alot too before conceiving this little one.
In the end, the fact that it was constantly on my mind convinced me that we were doing the right thing so we just jumped in feet first. We got pregnant literally first try so once we'd made the decision it was too late to change our minds!
Looks like I'm the dissenter. My two youngest are 15 months apart and they are absolute POLES apart. They have very little in common and cannot play together without it developing into an all-in brawl. One is a real little thug and the other is a bit of a "girlie-boy". Two more different children you would never hope to meet.
Having them so close together was just plain hard work and I'm just so thankful that they are of an age where they are marginally more independent.
For my part, I was looking forward to my last one being at least 8 years younger than the next in line and actually ENJOYING being at home with a little one again now that the other two are in school full-time.
Lisa - wow! I guess there are definitely exceptions to the rule, hey? Wow @ them being so different!! Sounds like life was pretty tough when they were little. Always good to hear things from another perspective!
Lisa, that is interesting to read. My current 2 are only 17 months apart, and the next gap will be 15 months. I can only HOPE they get on, and play with each other, at some point, eventually!!
My SIL has 2.5 years between her 2, and when she has her 3rd the gap will also be 2.5 years, and I am kind of envious to be honest.
But she has time and age on her side........not a luxury I had!
I am kind of thinking that I have to make it all OK, I have to cope happily, because whatever happens, I really have no choice in the matter now........LOL! Glass half full attitude, thankfully, is natural for me, otherwise I'd be in the nuthouse!
Debbie, in relation to your original question, depending on the day I have had, I could answer you in so many different ways, but the one constant is this: THEY ARE ADORABLE, AND MORE JUST EQUALS MORE LOVE AND LAUGHS AND MORE POO!!!!
LOL @ more poo, Lucy!
And, you're so right. There's so many things that influence our choices. Age is definitely something that might add to someone choosing to have kids close together or not.
Neil and I kind of have the 'luxury' (for want of a better word!) of age. I'm only 27 and Neil is 31. However, we have fertility issues so I really wonder if using our age as an excuse to wait is such a good idea?? So many different scenarios for different couples. Yet another thing to make it a very personal choice and one that no one has the right to judge on, imo!
Gee im surprised at all the mums that are or where in the same frame of mind to have more kids.
I thought it was just me, lol. Famous last words.
We are considering ttc #3. I worry that we will disrupt the perfect balance that we have with our kids now. They sleep well, get on well, arent a prob to take out. Just adorable kids basically. Will the 3rd child fit in just like the 2nd one did, which we had concerns about having to. I certainly wouldnt send him back for kwids.
My concern is that DS is only 8 months and if we fell now (AF hasnt returned yet mind you) he would be 18mths old say so would he still be ok. I think at that young age they still require a fair bit of attention and id be scared i couldnt give him all that he needed. Am i makeing sense.
Its a huge decision to have 1, 2, or 6 kids, and i do agree thats its a decision that only you can make. But i think the decision is deep down, you are just scared to admit it and say it out loud. As i am the same.
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