BFP on First Response, Not Pregnant on Clear Blue. Sad & confused!

[MsBelly]

The last week has been a roller coaster for me. Firstly my background, I'm 32 & My cycle has been off since going off the pill November 2012. After properly TTC for 6 months DH & I went to see a fertility specialist. The doctor was unsure if I'm ovulating so I'm getting blood tests throughout the month (last test showed high progesterone), & I was meant to have an ultrasound 4 days after my next AF, BUT it didn't arrive... We were told to keep BDing as all other levels & health look normal. I don't know when/ if I O'd & because my cycle has varied 29-36 days. so I was used to waiting a while for AF.

So asides from no AF this month was different, I started to get sensitive nipples which spread to under my breasts & they felt fuller. Then I got brown discharge which I thought was AF but it never increased or became red, just looked like old blood which I assumed (with glee) was implantation bleeding. I had been testing from around the 29-35 days past my last AF and then on day 37 I got a very faint line on First Response. We were so excited, my DH jumped into the shower fully clothed with me when he saw.

I'm due for my next appointment with fertility doc this coming Monday Nov 11 (day after tomorrow) but I thought - well we don't need to see her, we have a BFP! When I rang her office the receptionist said to use one of my spare blood forms to test for HCG & keep the booking in case. I did the blood test & waited another day to POAS First Response again, which came up marginally darker (we convinced ourselves it was double the previous) On Thursday I rang the fertility doctor & the receptionist told me the HCG was very low so I still need to go in on Monday & have yet another blood test today (Saturday) I feel like a pin cushion! I also did another First Response FMU & was devastated to see the line wasn't any darker since 2 days ago.. I then did a Clear Blue digi this afternoon which came up 'not pregnant'. Now I am preparing for the worst when I see the doctor on Monday (I know it's only 1.5 days wait, but its torture!)

I have felt what i thought was pregnant all week. Fatigue, sensitive sense of smell & breasts are still tender & heavy & I've had a little brown blood when I wipe over the past 5 days.

I'm sorry for such a long winded post! I have trawled the net to see if there are any other similar experiences with no luck, so now I just feel like a freak

To make things worse I need to get on a plane at 5.30pm on Monday & not sure if I'm miscarrying or will need a procedure or something?? Can anybody relate?

[myturn]

no advice... just a big one of these

[MsBelly]

no advice... just a big one of these

Thanks Myturn!

[Ladylove]

How hard for you MsBelly. If it gives you hope, the pregnancy hormone doubles every three or so days in early pregnancy, not every day so the darkness of the second line doesn't matter much, as long as it isn't getting lighter. That said, no two HPTs are identical, even those in the same pack so again, darkness of the second line is not a great indicator of the viability of a pregnancy. It sounds like you have have tested just when the body was starting to release enough hcg for a test to pick up. This is why the lines are faint and this is why Clearblue would not come up positive yet as the digitals need a higher hormone level to read and the standard Clearblue *I think* are less sensitive than a FRER. Was it a Clearblue digital or a traditional (lines) one?

So definitely do not give up hope!

I'm hesitant to say this as I want you to remain hopeful and positive but if this pregnancy isn't meant to be, you seem to be very early on, so in USUAL cases you wouldn't need a D&C for an early loss. I've actually experienced an early loss that began before I flew interstate, and for me it was like a very heavy period, more cramping and discomfort than usual but nothing too traumatic (physically in terms of pain). But your doctors would check everything out anyway.

[MsBelly]

Thank you LadyLove, that is reassuring for both scenarios. Yes it was a ClearBlue digital. I would have thought if I were to get a faint line on First Response on Tuesday, I should get a positive digital 4 days later? Without knowing when I ovulated it makes it really hard to do the calculations... The last time we BD was 19 days ago (14 days before the brown blood), so I'm hoping I O'd late & maybe it is still early.

[Calluna]

Congratulations on your pregnancy!
Im sorry its off to a stressful start.

Pregnancy tests arent designed to measure the level of hcg in your system, only give you a yes or no answer. So the darkness of the line - while it can be an indicator - may mean nothing at all except that particular test was a bit less sensitive.
Ive found Clear B
.lue to be less reliable than first response too. Thats just my experience, others may say the opposite.

Was it a regular first response test or a first response "early response"? The early response tests detect a lower level of hcg than the other.

There is hope. Good luck!

[luna moth]

Fingers crossed for you...

[Mummy_AllyK]

The first response will be positive from approx 10mi/u whereas clear blue digital is close to 100 I believe! So even in 4 days you may not have increased enough for the CBD, and if your fertility dr says the levels were still low that would explain it. Fx everything has gone smoothly for you and that your fertility dr has put your mind at ease xx

[ciara.e]

I have to agree with the other responses - First response picks up HCG much earlier than clear blue digi, and the rate at which HCG increases isn't as fast as we wish it to be at times like this. In my opinion - a line on First Response means a positive pregnancy and a congratulations is in order! First response is the only brand I have found to be reliable, for me, so I hope this is the case for you too!

No matter what, keep us up to date with your results. Sending baby dust your way! Can't wait to read your official BFP post!

[MsBelly]

Not great news for me to update on unfortunately. I've been having blood tests every second day & at first HCG & progesterone did go up, although was still low.. But gave us hope. Now my latest test yesterday showed both had dropped, so I'm now expecting to miscarry in the next few days. It is such an early pregnancy (it'd be the size of a poppy seed), so it hadn't got far along (I'll be 2 weeks past my missed period).

I don't think it'll be too painful, just like a heavy period.

Of course we are upset, but trying to keep our spirits up & look at the positives - like knowing its possible, that I am ovulating.

Looking forward to getting back on the TTC wagon next cycle!

[Mummy&Daddy2Be]

i'm so deeply sorry for your loss MsBelly take care xx

[Calluna]

Hugs MsBelly. Im so sorry.

Having had a very early loss - it may be painful. I had horrible cramps and a few other odd aches and pains. I hope its not, for your sake, but Id suggest to just take it as it comes.

[Ladylove]

MsBelly that is heartbreaking news. I saw your other thread, just try to take each day as it comes in terms of wondering how long to take off work etc... How awful waiting for it to actually happen. Thinking of you.

[MsBelly]

Thank you Calluna & LadyLove. Because of the ups & downs of the past week I feel like we de-sensitised the whole thing, like it hasn't really happened (after getting positive, then negative, the low blood results, the doubling before finally dropping right down..) So because part of me started fearing the worst days ago it makes me feel less upset now.

Not sure if I'm imagining it or not but I think I have early stages of cramping, nothing too painful yet.

Staying in with DH, just ordered Chinese takeaway & plan on trying to relax as much as possible for the next few days. Almost a guilty pleasure, as we usually always have to rush off somewhere or stay back at work, so it is nice to let the pace slow down. I'd really like to do my yoga class tomorrow, but not sure if that'd be unwise? I guess it depends where things are at.

I read in a few forums today that quite often you can be extra fertile after an early loss, which gives us extra hope to get back to trying. We will be apart for most of December due to work commitments but I'm hoping we get one O in before then!

[Calluna]

Have you miscarried before? Just dont want to be telling you stuff you already know.

You might find that your emotions are very up and down for a while. One minute you're numb or think you're doing ok, the next you cant breathe from the crushing weight of it all.

A quiet night sounds good. Not sure about yoga. Maybe just see how you feel in the morning and only do what you feel up to at the time.

If you want to chat please pm me. Im really sorry you have to go through this.

[Ladylove]

MsBelly don't lose hope, you still created a life, that's an awesome thing. I didn't unfortunately ovulate for two months after my early loss but fell pregnant on the third month and now I'm 19 weeks. Oddly, despite having had a recent loss I was not afraid this time as my gut somehow knew things were going to work out this time. I really felt with my loss, before I even suspected a miscarriage, that things were not going to last. It is hard to explain as I didn't literally think that but it was more of an intangible feeling whereas this time (and with DD) I felt the strength of the pregnancy from the outset. I am only writing all of this because it will happen to you, you will get that strong little super baby. :hugs:

[MsBelly]

Yes this will be my first mc, so it's all unfamiliar other than what I've read or friends have told me. The bleeding hasn't started yet, hopefully it starts soon.

So great to hear you've gone on to have a healthy pregnancy LadyLove! And I think I can relate a little to your feeling when something wasn't right.

I'll let you know how it pans out. Thank you for the lovely words & hugs.

[Calluna]

Hugs I hope it happens quickly and simply for you. Ill be thinking of you and sending you love.