family who scrutinise every kg you gain...

[LimeSlice]

Just wanted to say that as someone who has battled with my weight forever (my family given nn was Triple T (Tubby Two Tits)) and who is your size, that when I got down to 52 kgs, I was stoked! lol So I dont think you should be worried lol
I agree with the other girls.

But wrt to feelin glike you should be thinner and interesting thin g I found out whilst I was very thin was that if I had've got down to below 48kgs, for my height if I went into hospital, legalyl they couldve kept me there until I put on weight. 49kg and below for a 5'4 girl is considered underweight to the point where you are deemed anorexic!

Maybe you should just tell your sister that her constant comments on the size of your thighs is really boring and could see start reading the newspaper to have something interesting to talk about ;P

[~Raven~]

I hear you!

It's not fair that your sister puts you down to make herself feel better about her insecurities. If it wasn't weight it would be something else I'm sure of it!

I think I look my best at about 55 kilos, but some people (my Mum and MIL had a go too) would point out that my butt was getting big or I had a pot belly. Well der I had 2 kids (at the time, Angus was a baby).

Last year I got down to 47 kilos (not from doing any dieting I have to add, it just happened like that) and then I got the too skinny comments. I was a bridesmaid for my SIL and after I got my dress MIL carried on that I better not put on any weight blahblahblah. You should have heard her at the wedding, (she's not quiet, she laughs like a strangled cat) telling EVERYONE that I had to watch what I ate for the first time in my life so I would be able to wear it. Piffle! I was sensible but I didn't diet.

I swear it feels sometimes that I can't converse with anyone without them commenting about my weight. It's hardly ever nice either! I get compliments occasionally which surprise me and I usually wait for the sarcasm. DH loves me for who I am and keeps talking me out of getting a boob job I think that insecurity comes from my mum who's favourite put down line is "the girls got no boobs".

49kg and below for a 5'4 girl is considered underweight to the point where you are deemed anorexic!

Limey I'm far from anorexic and I am 5'4" and 47 kilos (well could be a bit more now I'm PG but haven't weighed myself for weeks). I am on the low end of the BMI but my Dr is happy enough with my weight as I am fleshy and muscular. I have a very light bone structure though which is partly attributed to my low weight.

[paradise lost]

My family are the opposite. After years and years (ages 18-25) of being between 12kg and 20kg overweight i am now a normal weight for my height (though you lot make me laugh in your teeny 40's and 50's because i am 77kg!! I'm 181cm and have a lot of bone and muscle though) and my dad constantly frets that i am too thin. He's never critical, but he does voice concerns if he has them. I am also very active (by MY standards) for the first time in my life (run 30km/week, swim 0.5k, bodypump 60mins) and while my dad has been inspired and started being more active himself, my sister (who is 162cm and about 140kg) always tells me i'm using up heartbeats and will hurt myself, but then when she sees me says "oh you're so lucky you're thin" which makes me think (but not say) "i work my ARSE off to stay thin!". My brother, who called me "community chest" all through my teens/early twenties, told me a few days ago i looked (with 34DD's rather than 36G's) like a flat-chested boy.

You just can't win.

Bx

[fionas]

Like a previous poster I find people who can only talk about weight, clothes, make-up, who's pretty, who's not, EXTREMELY boring.

So you can either deal with your sister in a nice way or a nasty way. Your call. But do know this is not about you, it's about her not being happy with herself and taking it out on you. VERY immature.

I overheard some teenage girls on the train the other day and the conversation literally went like this "d'you think she's pretty or ugly? Cos like I don't know. Sometimes I think she's pretty and sometimes I think she's ugly."

It was nauseating and it went ON and ON and ON. I really felt like telling them to STFU and talk about something interesting.

And btw, I'm 166cm and have been 49kg. When I was anxious/depressed and living on a couple of bites of apple and half a sandwich per day because I literally couldn't eat. Now I'm 70kg so a bit overweight. Know what I'd prefer.

[jules30]

Raven, you are tiny, and you look great! I cant believe you get those comments too. Thats exactly how i feel whenever i see family someone inevitably mentions my weight directly or indirectly. Its to the point where i labour over what i wear to any family functions so as not to wear anything that makes me look bigger than i am etc.

Fiona, YESSSSSSS Im the same I hate it when people make comments on how others look. It really annoys me. Thats actually what my sister does, she constantly talks about who's pretty who's not and the of course the weight thing. She'll be sitting watching tv with us and then turn to my DF and say, do u think so and so is hot/pretty etc, cos apparently her DP thinks she is/or is not. My poor DF HATES it!!! I hate it too, its so irrelevant and who cares so much that you have to analyse it. Everybody knows beauty is in the eye of the beholder and everybody has different tastes!!

I luv my sis but we are very different and i shouldn't just whinge i should tell her but as her older sister and knowing that she has had bulimia (in her teens, early 20's) I dont want to upset her either. I just have to not let it get to me.

[~Belinda~]

Jules, how terrible that your sister says these things to you. Actually, I think it's worse that your Mum tells you what she has said, why do that? No offence to your Mum or anything.

Some family members can truly be cruel. Why can't they just keep their comments to themselves. It's very obvious that your sister is jealous of you, especially if she is bigger. Jealousy is one wasted emotion in my books.

I know you have to see your sister but if she hurts you so much, why bother? I wouldn't, just walk away and get on with your own life, you really deserve happiness. Don't let family members bring you down, life is too short.

SHE has the problem, not you, walk away from it.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

You don't want to upset HER? This isn't just nastiness, if this were anyone but your sister we'd all be calling a spade a spade and say it's bullying.

Tell her to shut up and give her mouth a chance. If my sister were still treating me like this (not about weight but about other things) I'd not see her at all, no regrets. Same with my mother, who backed her up. You don't need people treating you like this.

(BTW, I'm a size 8-10, 5'11 and about 65kgish. Trust me, you're not fat. Cos if you are then I am and I'll have to cut back on food and no-one will be happy then.)