You aren't a failure.... and I think you know you aren't too You are just beating yourself up unnecessarily!!!
It's ALL in your MIND. Think Slim! Trust me. I have always had weight problems since I was about 19 too..... always been overweight.......
You CAN lose weight without depriving yourself and you CAN lose weight by not exercising that much...... you JUST have to BELIEVE in yourself that you can do it.
I've lost some weight recently and it's purely from just EATING WELL. I'm NOT on a diet. I'm not on some crazy weight loss scheme.... I'm just EATING WELL. Looking after myself and NOT eating cr@p.
I've been there too (numerous times, too many to count) and even when I have seen photos of me looking huge & disgusting, I would feel a bit guilty and think about doing something about it but then not bother and eat some more (I am a comfort eater) It has only been just prior to Xmas that I have changed my mind set. One thing is that you need to view is that it is not a diet, it is a lifestyle change. Like Shanti has said, you can do it - you've done it before! Shanti is right too - she is eating well, not diet food but food to fuel our bodies to get through the day - to look after ourselves, our children and it just happens that it will make you lose weight. I occassionally have the odd day of eating 'junk' food but the next day I get back into eating well and exercising. You'd be surprised at how many calories can be in even what you might think is ok/good food but also amazed at how much 'good' food you can fill up on and have minimal calories. An online tool I use is Calorie King (google it) which has a food diary & counts calories for you.
I wish you all the best with whatever you decide to do.
DD was in hospital on IV fluids 2 weeks ago and it made me feel like just eating whatever again.....it's hard getting food when in hossy hey! So i know how you feel!! all it takes is a small (or big) upset and you can be back at square one! But you just have to remember how badly you want to be healthy and fit for your DD! That's enough to motivate me.....
I find that if I cut out sugary drinks, chocolate, bad foods etc (like I'm doing now) I don't crave them after a while...... in fact, I've been eating LESS food because I'm not getting those constant sugar hits and needing those constant sugar fixes.... kwim??
I am still eating bread, dairy etc, I feel that's important for a healthy diet and also I'm BF so I need to eat well for DD's health! I also have the motivation to want to TTC another baby very soon..... I see you are too.... keep that in mind and that will help focus you too!! It's making me focused that's for sure as I want another baby soon!!!!!
Hi J. I totally understand as I was there too - 1kg off being obese. I really didn't realise it, and even though I have now lost a lot of the weight I still feel the same as always - just that bit podgy. The only think I notice that changes is my perception of how skinny/heavy other people are, or photos of me. But you can lose the weight if you want to. One of the most important things to realise about changing your eating and exercise habits is that you don't have to be good all of the time. I often have all night work sessions, or celebrations and I can be really bad with my eating. But I don't let it go for too many days before I rein myself in again. I think that is the key. When you have a sick kid or something else the priority goes to that. Then you get back on the wagon. Although eating well definitely helps with the stress of other situations too. Getting into some exercise that you actually enjoy (as opposed to exercise you only do to lose weight) helps an awful lot as well as the focus is on the fun of it and not just on the results you get for your waistline.
I know how you feel. Although I wasn't really overweight when younger, I was when I left high school. I lost 10kgs then, to be my lightest weight at about 60kg, but only for a few years when I had my first m/c. I was comfortable at 60kg (ish) though and very happy with myself for the first time ever. I have steadily been putting weight on since I was about 20. About 6ish kg per pg (or m/c) actually. Though after DS, I have been getting fatter and fatter. I just can't focus and lose this weight. I hate looking int he mirror. I have never had the greatest self esteem but now it's non existent. I don't know why I can't lose weight. I think of it every day, just about everything that goes into my mouth, I'm thinking about if I should or shouldn't eat it. I have a terrible relationship with food, my body, eating. I hate feeling like this and you'd think it would be enough to make me find the motivation and will to lose weight. Plus DH has agreed to have another baby after almost 2yrs of my nagging him, but only if I lose at least 15kg, so I am able to handle the pg better. More motivation. Besides just being healthy to run around with my kids and being healthy for myself. Still just haven't managed to find the oomph I need. So deflating when I try, lose 5kgs, then just end up back where I started, or fatter.
Sorry for the woe is me post, didn't mean to take over! But I know what you're saying!
You are just beating yourself up unnecessarily!!!
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I know how you feel. Although I wasn't really overweight when younger, I was when I left high school. I lost 10kgs then, to be my lightest weight at about 60kg, but only for a few years when I had my first m/c. I was comfortable at 60kg (ish) though and very happy with myself for the first time ever. I have steadily been putting weight on since I was about 20. About 6ish kg per pg (or m/c) actually. Though after DS, I have been getting fatter and fatter. I just can't focus and lose this weight. I hate looking int he mirror. I have never had the greatest self esteem but now it's non existent. I don't know why I can't lose weight. I think of it every day, just about everything that goes into my mouth, I'm thinking about if I should or shouldn't eat it. I have a terrible relationship with food, my body, eating. I hate feeling like this and you'd think it would be enough to make me find the motivation and will to lose weight. Plus DH has agreed to have another baby after almost 2yrs of my nagging him, but only if I lose at least 15kg, so I am able to handle the pg better. More motivation. Besides just being healthy to run around with my kids and being healthy for myself. Still just haven't managed to find the oomph I need. So deflating when I try, lose 5kgs, then just end up back where I started, or fatter. 
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