Argh bugger it, I'm in too... will measure up tonight. Need to go buy scales and tape measure!

I need to lose 35 kilos. At least. I'm in denial. I weighed 75 kilos before I met XH. I'm sure I'm well over 100 now... My "healthy" weight range is 51-64 kilos (although I never weighed that light, even when I played state level basketball). My aim will be 70 kilos, but lighter would be good.

I have some psychological issues with my weight. I don't want to lose weight, because I then become attractive to me, which for me is "dangerous". Being an incest survivor isn't easy - and I've had years of counselling and psychotherapy to help deal with it.

This will be the first NYBTC for me, and my mental way of doing it (for the first time) is to GET HEALTHY. For me, this won't be about losing weight, it's going to be about HEALTH. My health is seriously screwy and I need to fix it now, so that I'm going to be around for my boys. My boys need me. God help them if anything happens to me - you all know what the XH is like. Let's just say he was convicted in October of assaulting DS2....

So this is about ME getting HEALTHY! I'm going to think about goals etc and get back to you Lucy. Sorry for the waffle on. Sometimes it's hard to take those first steps.