Totally get you hun, for me for ages I was just pretending that it was all ok and that my clothes weren't that tight and revolting on me. I didn't get to any meetings but keeping track of my points really helped me because I am such a sub-concious eater. I eat without thinking about if I am hungry first, if I have had enough for one day of a particular food etc. plus I also tend to eat the kids leftover toast etc and it all adds up. Good luck hun, baby steps and it sounds like you are determined to make it happend.