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Thread: Donor Conception General Chatter #2

  1. #19

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    Hi Marg, Hi Lulu,



    When I wrote my post I was thinking about the things that you don't know about until you are actually going through the process. As you know, our method of conception has changed so much over the past few years it would make your head spin!

    Obviously DH would have been the first choice, but unfortunately this wasn't possible. Then we went down the known until we realised it wouldn't work with DH's brother. Then we went down the unknown and this didn't work, and was no longer possible. Then our friend offered out of the blue.

    I think I grabbed onto this offer because it felt like divine timing/sychronicity (whatever you want to call it). A friend that had our ideals and understood his role in the process, probably far better than I do. A person that would be like a godfather, around, but not daily in the baby's life.

    I still feel this way which is why I don't want to go onto a waiting list yet - I believe that our SD will get his act together and go through the process eventually (just not on my schedule). TBH he's always been this way, but always comes through for me in the end. And I have some issues with patience anyway (if you couldn't already tell!!)

    And I think I also have a few issues to work on in the meantime, including weight and health. Since having the 2 IUIs I've had a gallbladder and tonsils removed within 6 months. And I'm not in my optimal weight range by any stretch of the imagination - which makes me wonder if this was an issue the previous 2 times for IUI. I'm thinking that the 6 months of waiting time could definitely be used to improve my health. (Now I've just got to put this into action - always my issue LOL).

  2. #20

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    Hey Gargy,

    I totally understand you going with the known donor thing..he sounds perfect. I hope I didnt say the wrong thing regarding the anonymous donor..I just know the waitlists are so bad that's all.
    I am now sitting not so patiently waiting for AF after my d&c - considering that I am 16days after today and still spotting...a long long 2 weeks.

    Lulu

  3. #21

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    No Lulu, you were just echoing thoughts that I had - should I just give up on SD and go with the waiting list after all.

    I will if I have to, but I really want to believe things will happen with our SD. I'm just not very patient about it!!

    Speaking of which - hope AF arrives for you shortly.

    And Marg - hope it's BFP when you take a sneak peak on the 15th!

  4. #22

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    Marg..been thinking about you...how are you doing..??

    Lulu

  5. #23

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    Hi Lulu, not good! Feels like AF is only hours away. Did have some early symptoms but now I know it was just the pregnyl playing games with me! Succumbed to a HPT yesterday and no luck so I think the AF symptoms I have this morning are unfortunately the real thing.

    This is such a sad journey sometimes.

    Marg

  6. #24

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    Hi Marg,

    Feeling your sorrow - it is a long hard journey sometimes. Fingers crossed that it's still all ok. Let us know how you go.

  7. #25

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    BFN -

  8. #26

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    Oh darling - life really bites the big one sometimes...thinking of you - take care and be nice to yourself...

  9. #27

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    Oh Marg..

    I am so so sorry. I am sharing your tears. Why is it all so hard?
    I'm thinking of you and sending hugs..
    Hang in there friend..

    Lulu

  10. #28

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    Thanks so much for the support. I think we're always questioning why this journey has to be so difficult for some of us. All I want is to be a Mum - I don't care about a big fancy house, or new car, or expensive possessions - I just want to hold a baby in my arms. I can't believe that is too much to ask. Sigh....

    Anyway, I am taking a couple of months off to get my head back into a better place than where it currently is! And I want to try and lose this last 10kgs as well before I go through another cycle. I know there's no guarantees that losing weight will make any difference but at least it wont leave me thinking 'what if'. And I guess it kinda gives me something else to concentrate on for a little while too.

    I hope some LTTC'ers get to graduate out of here soon. It seems so quiet in here these days...

    Marg

  11. #29

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    Marg..have you considered IVF as opposed to IUI ?

  12. #30

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    Hi Marg,

    It's always good to get your head together.

    Hope everything works out, whatever you decide...

  13. #31

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    Hi Lulu, I've actually been doing IVF (3 cycles so far) and this 4th cycle started out as IVF but they changed over to IUI halfway through because I only had 3 good size follies and they didn't think it was worth going through the pickup and transfer.

    I actually prefer IUI (less invasive) but I'm happy to try anything - as long as it works!!!

    Thanks for the support Gargy.

    Good luck to everyone else too.

    Marg
    xoxo

  14. #32

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    Hey Marg,

    ohhhh got it...sorry didnt realise you were always starting with IVF.
    The same happened with me with my first cycle as they couldn't get enough access to my ovaries, did an IUI and then I had to have the operation to remove fibroids.

    Anyway, sit back and re-group. It is so so hard and emotional, I dont think one really understands until you go through it and watch the clock tick.

    Have a lovely weekend everyone..Lulu

  15. #33

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    Hi Marg, Hi Lulu,

    I agree - it is very quiet at the moment.

    Had a pretty bad night last night - not coping with DH's anxiety, nor my own depression. I'm finding very few people that will listen - as soon as I switched to a known donor mum bolts every time I want to talk, and my usually sympathetic brother doens't seem to want to know anymore. And my BF seems to believe just nagging at my husband to get back to work and get over the anxiety will work - which I'm sure it won't.

    But it's amazing how quickly things can change. My donor has been MIA for a number of weeks as he had to move home. It was a forced change - he had been living there for 10 years, but his flatmate and landlord wanted his room for his mother (she has been unwell since his sister died). Our SD tried to convince him to change his mind, and up until the 11th hour didn't have anywhere else to go, but then the universe came through and a friend offered him a place for 6 months.

    He emailed us yesterday from his new place. I was very careful not to hassle him about anything. Anyway, he emailed back tonight and said that he had made a donation this morning!!

    I'm cautiously optimistic However there is still a long way to go - and I'm pretty sure he hasn't done the individual counselling yet. Then it's group counselling, and then quarantine for 6 months.

    Maybe I'll be happier tomorrow when I don't feel tired and not suffering so much from this stupid cold that refuses to leave.

    Sorry I'm a bit whingy - hope everyone else is well...

  16. #34
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    Hi Ladies, I am hoping I can ask you a question, I am sorry to just jump in because I can see you have had so much happening...

    I am considering the donor program because at 40, I don't seem to have the eggs I used to. Just wondering how to find a donor. I will be embarking on my last IVF with my eggs at end June early July, but I have to face the fact that if this attempt isn't the one, then I need to consider donor. I have no problems with that because I know that the baby I carry is my baby and god help anyone who tries to tell me different.

    I am hoping that you ladies can assist me on the journey to finding a donor. I have tried googling information but nothing.

    Thank you as I am desperate for knowledge.

    Tracey

  17. #35

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    Gargy - that's great news!! Hey..it's certainly a step in the right direction. I know you have a long way to go - but he is obviously genuine and wants to do this. I hope this gives both of you the boost that you really need right now.

    Tracey - welcome. You don't need to apologise for dropping in. I would suggest you ask your clinic to waitlist you immediately for donor eggs. Sadly, I believe donor eggs are even harder to come by then donor sperm - and that's pretty damn hard now. From the reading I have done for myself, I have found that when it comes to donor eggs, people often end up using someone they know, that is not always an easy route to go thru or even to find someone. I would suggest (if you can afford it) to go to more then one clinic and get yourself waitlisted. I also read an article about people getting eggs and doing the whole ivf thing overseas. A lot of english people are going there. It didn't seem dodgy at all. I think they girls there get paid the the donation so they are much more readily available. It's apparently quite big in greece. I guess it depends on how far you want to go. Me at 41 will do almost anything I want it that badly. Good luck!!

    Lulu

  18. #36
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    Thanks Lulu, like you I am prepared to go the distance, my niece offered me some time ago but I was certain I could do it on my own. I am still unsure if I should go ahead with her, it's a big call for 20 year old. Getting some opinions would be great girls, because I am torn about it.

    Tracey

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