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Thread: Donor Conception General Chatter #2

  1. #109

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    Hey Lissie,



    See I was asking my FS about my ripe old eggies as well.
    I guess they all look at it differently. She told me - the fact that I got pregnant shows all good..but the age thing greatly reduces the actual embie from sticking as well. I guess they try everything.
    Me - am sticking with the old eggs I think. It's all hard..

  2. #110

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    Hello

    I have been reading trough this forum and though I might jump on. My husband and I are currently pregnant with our first baby though our first IVF treatment.
    We currently have 4 balasty’s on ice and are looking at donating them. Struggling with infertility for so many years, mind you I am only 26, I have seen so many couples not so lucky as DH and I. We have come to a decision to donathe the 4 litlle ones to people that really deserve a child of their own.

    Our only issue is, we want to know who they are given to and we want our details to be kept on file. Not sure if this is important but we feel as our details should be available if needed.
    At the moment we feel very comfortable with our decision and hope to make another couple/singleton happy.

  3. #111

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    Hi LP...

    That's truly an amazing thing you are doing. The 2 of you must be truly special people.
    From what I understand..if you want a known recipient..you are firstly going to have to find someone waiting..and there are so many. I know many people advertise in Sydney Child..ahhh cant go back and see where you're from right now..but am sure you have similar wherever you are. I think if you donate thru a clinic directly it would most certainly be anonymous. In NSW the law now states that when the child turns 18, they are able to obtain birth parents info..but not before. So in NSW you are only anonymous till the child turns 18. This is why we are so short of donors...sperm, eggs and embies. Some people dont want their details released and therefore will no longer donate...hence the massive waiting lists at all clinics for all 3.
    I also dont think that the clinic direct will take them unless you are finished your family..but you'd have to check that. Obviously, they also look after your best interests as well.
    LP - good luck with you pregnancy...I am sure 2 special people like yourselves will have a wonderfully gorgeous baby..

  4. #112

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    LP
    I think you wanting to donate your embies is wonderful. You will definitely make a couple very happy.
    I don't know how it works with donated embryo's i actually never asked that question when i went on the waiting list, i just assumed that it would be the same as the rules for donating egg or sperm. We had conselling and were advised and we highly agreed that the child should know their background and we and the consellers thought that the donor should play some part in the childs life.
    I did not know that the law had other ideas about that, but if you donate to someone you pick you get to talk about this issue is suppose. You could answer an ad or you could choose a clinic to donate to. Good luck and hoping for a happy and healthy pregnancy for you.

  5. #113

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    Hi LP, what a wonderful thing for you and DH to do. I'm still giving my own eggs a go at the moment but not having much luck. I would have loved to donate eggs or embryo's to women who need them but I think I've left it too late unfortunately.

    As others have mentioned, I think there is a process you will need to go through, and maybe speaking to a fertility clinic might be a good start. Good luck with both your pregnancy and the donation process.

    Marg

  6. #114

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    Thanks ladies for your lovely words.
    Our main concern is racial differences, in no offence, we are not racist or of that sort, basically DH is Greek and I am Romanian so yes call us WOGS (LOL hehehehe), so on that we basically want our details and background to be provided to the child at a proper age if its asked for. We also in trust that the couple that is willing to go through fertility treatment is in a strong and loving relationship and we do not doubt that, we just want them to be aware that yes this child will have a lot more hair, most likely a lot darker and pretty dark olive skin. I do not think its important for us to know them, but just for them to know us, so they know what they are getting…..Its all so heard and so many things to think so…..
    I really admire your courage ladies, and find it so inspiring.

    I have some friend who have failed 7 ivf cycles, I have asked them if they were willing to accept donated ambies but they were willing to go through life with no kids if they could not have their own….. I understand them but its so hard to take either road.

  7. #115

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    LP
    I can understand your concerns - however to me does it really matter - DH and i where willing to adopt from overseas but the process is so lengthy (5-8yrs) and extremely expensive and the biggest obsticle was that by the time it happens they deemed my DH to old - what a joke - we are more established now etc and if anyone knew my DH they would not think he was nearly 50. The adoption laws in Australia suck - and its such a shame that so many couples like us are willing to give under privilaged kids a great loving home but out of our reach. Re your friend - everyone is different - i too have friends that only want a biol child, i understand that, but to me love makes a family not genes. And re your comment WOGS - well aren't we all - my heritage is Irish and my husbands is Scottish - the only true Australians are the aboriginals, the rest of us came here in boats!
    Again LP you and your DH are truly generous people to give such a gift.

  8. #116

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    Thanks lassie for shedding some light on this, I feel so silly worrying about such small things. You are right, who is a true Australian these days…..

    Once again thanks girls, I had my 12 week scan today and so I will be calling my IVF clinic for further information on donors and the process.
    Can someone please tell me what paper I need to get with people advertising their donation needs. I feel very positive and would like to do this.

  9. #117

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    Hey everyone - thinking of you all even though I haven't been on for a couple of days.

    The Dinner out tonight with some of the girls from BB Sydney was brilliant!

    Catch up with you soon!!

  10. #118

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    Hi all just dropping in to let you all know i had my first ultrasound and they could see 20 follies.They have started me on pregnal today as well as the puregon cause the follies arent growing aswell as they would like them to. Nazel spray is working to well they said. So back on friday for my last ultrasound hopefully. Boy i cant wait for it to be over its so hard with the ups and downs of it all.
    Take care Em

  11. #119

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    Hey everyone!!

    Hi Em - 20 follies is great news! Hopefully a good number of them will mature between now and Friday.

    Hi everyone else - hope things are going well.

    Went and saw the work counsellor on Monday - one of the best things she said was that she was there for me, not DH (which is a nice change).

    I'm doing some mental exercises such as:
    - a greatful journal - thought it would be a big w**k actually - she saw my face and explained it, so I'm giving it a go.

    - a number of questions that I have to complete everyday focussing on my relationship with DH (he's doing it as well)

    - a questioning of negative thoughts.

    Between this and starting Weighwatchers (about a month ago now) I'm feeling a little overwhelmed - hopefully things will settle into a routine. I just want everything to be right for November...

  12. #120

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    Girls,
    Mumof5, - wow - 20 follies thats great - will be sending you heaps of positive thoughts for those little eggies to just grow grow grow so you get a fantastic result. Oh IVF is hard isn't it - i know - it really hits me hard emotionally and physically. I have heard some girls just breeze thru it but to me and by the sounds of it not you either - good luck hun - just hang in there its all worth it.
    Gargy - Good luck with the counselling - all sounds a bit like you have a alot on your plate right now - i have often thought of writing in a journal, my ivf counsellor thougt it to be a good idea - just to get your feelings out - so i guess writing a journal is good therapy for whatever situation you are in.
    At least you can write down the pros and cons etc and try to make some sense of it all as when its all in your head it just goes round and round and round. How much longer Gargy do you have to wait for the next IVF cycle - from memory you were waiting for the 6mth quarantine period to be over is that right?

  13. #121

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    Hey Lissie!!

    I actually do write in a journal - have been since I was 17 - but as the counsellor pointed out, I generally use it to vent about negative experiences I am having/ talk about events that I go to. She said it was a brilliant start, because as you said I get rid of the yucky thoughts that go round and round - but I needed to also be focussing on the positive. So that's when I agreed to give it a go.

    With the couples one - the hardest thing on this page is complimenting DH. I don't compliment often, so when I do it really has to be something special - this makes it feel a little false - but I'm perservering!

    LOL about ' a lot on my plate' - I think that just describes my life!!

    Yep - November is when quarantine is up.

    How you doing???

  14. #122

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    Hey Gargy,
    I'm doing well - have booked in for another cycle in November - but still hoping and praying that a donor embie might turn up, but we still have to give it a go if not, will most likely use donor egg at this stage not really sure yet, my friend who is willing to donate an egg is 37 so still not really young but still in the running. However DH sperm problem so still chances aren't that great but theres always hope - who knows miracles happen all the time and might just get one. Just can't sit around waiting so have to do something pro-active just in case. I'm not giving up - i want to be a mummy so bad and to have a family.

  15. #123

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    Hi Girls,

    Em - 20 follies - thats brilliant..I have my fingers crossed that they keep doing 'their thing' for you. I so know where you are coming from wishing it was over.

    Gargy - hope the councellor helps. How's Weight Watcher going for you?

    Lissie - I'm sure that embie is going to turn up for you...

    Me - sitting and waiting for AF - and starting the needles yet again next week..

    Have a great weekend..

  16. #124

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    Hi girls

    well I finally received the donor info pack from Monash and I am in the process of having the counselling session. They were so surprised that someone of my age would give away their healthy 5 day emby. I guess this doesn’t happen often.....It makes me wonder what people do with all their leftover embys?

    Anyways, so its all a bit overwhelming as there will be a lot of new test done and the counsellor will be drilling some things in to us in regards to legalities and the future.
    Both hubby and I are very determent to donate so our mind are made up.
    The good thing is because of my age they are not as reluctant to not go ahead with the procedure as I am still in my fertile years, and have very good results come back from the current pregnancy.
    Its sort of exciting as I so know that this could make a couple very happy.

    Will keep you girls up to date with the whole process.
    Its good to read about what its like to be the receiver. I will let you know what its like to be the donor.

  17. #125

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    LP - you go girl!!!!

    I love love love what you are doing. You really sound like incredible people.

    Good luck with all the councelling etc - I am sure you guys will breeze through it all.

    Thanks for sharing your experience with us - it's really interesting to listen to the otherside.

    Have a great weekend..

  18. #126

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    Hey girls- Final count yesterday was 22 follies.EPU was meant to be monday tuesday but they have put me back to thursday for EPU. Follies are still quit small. the biggest ones are around 15mm i think then 13mm, so there are 8 at that stage but the rest of them are at 10mm. They said cause i have so many and the all pretty close in size they dont want to waste them and they want to be able to give them ago. So in my eyes more is good,i only want two embryos and some other lucky couple get the rest,works for me.

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