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Thread: Donor Conception General Chatter #2

  1. #91

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    Thanks Lissie and good luck to you


  2. #92

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    Hey everyone,

    Just letting you know I am still around - I wrote this deep and meaningful post about a week ago concerning life and the choices we make - which I poured my soul into - and the gremlins in the forum decided that I was no longer logged in and booted me into a sign on screen. I tried to go back but unfortunately all the post was lost.

    Actually in retrospect it was probably too long and involved and I had a angel on my shoulder delete it!! Anyway after that I couldn't face rewriting it...and then life got busy...

    Some good news for me - my SD has had his individual counselling session - and the group one is booked in for Wednesday next week.

    I'll catch up with the personals shortly - thinking of you all...

  3. #93

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    Lissie, SuziQ, Lulu - missing you - are you ?

    Just letting you know that we've had the group counselling session (thank goodness) so the next step is ticked off.

    SD's sperm comes out of quarantine late November, and then he has to do another blood test (which we weren't aware of). Then we have to have a group counselling session to talk about genetics, and then FINALLY that's it, we can go ahead with IUI.

    So still looking at Dec/Jan at this stage.

    Love to hear how everyone else is going...

  4. #94

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    Hi Gargy,

    Glad to hear everything is going well for you. Yes, my donor had the bloodtest after the 6months quarantine. This is to ensure he was still 100% healthy and therefore sperm 100% healthy...it's a good thing.
    Well I dont remember where I was up to in here..but I did a full stim cycle..again and sadly it didnt work.
    I have 2 embies in the freezer. I usually have 2 put in at a time due to age. I have decided to keep them on ice and do another stim cycle so I can build up a bank. I am so so scared that if I have a late miscarriage like last time (12 weeks), then curette..I have to wait 3months before doing anything. At my age the eggs are deteriorating monthly so I am just too afraid to keep waiting for everything. I have decided to take action and do another cycle. Depending on how successful I am..I will then decide if I do another or not. I am so so determined..I want it so so badly.
    Glad to hear u sounding upbeat Gargy...

  5. #95

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    Hi Lulu,

    I'm sorry the stim cycle didn't work, and that you are feeling the sadness that goes with this...

    Re: your plans: Amazing, isn't it, that once we are trying to concieve this way our lives become a series of logical plans - if I do this, then hopefully this will happen. I can see your determination. I hope and pray that these plans work for you.

    Re: blood test - Thanks for telling me that. I can see the logic as to why. I just wish I knew the whole process, not bits and pieces. Maybe I need to chase it up with our FS.

    I am feeling a lot better that things are actually moving. There were some dark, dark times there in the last 6 months. Still, I'm finding it hard to stay motivated at work. Thinking seriously of seeing a counsellor on my own - not to do with IVF (even our SD today confirmed that she seemed to be more worried about/interested in DH than me), and not DH's one (again, as he is more interested in DH than me). I thought about going to the work one, seeing it's work I'm having issues with at the moment. But not sure if bringing more people in the mix is going to help. I'll have to think about it...

  6. #96

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    Hi Gargy,
    Well good to hear things are moving for you. We have my BIL sperm on ice and have used it in the past ivf/stim/icsi cycle and like lulu i had no luck - sadly. Bil also had another blood test after 6months of sperm being in quarantine - its basically to check on HIV etc - its just part of the normal procedure. All this waiting drives you nuts doesn't it? We have a few options up our sleeves at the moment, cause i am 42 (old eggsies) and hubby had the snip 16yrs ago we both have a little problem here - we have used DH sperm in the past but felt it was better to go with so called healthier sperm thats why we choose BIL sperm but its not to say DH sperm in useless. Now we also have a female friend is is willing to donate to me (she has done this once before for me), now im just going to have my FSH,PROG & EST levels checked this month to see where i am at to see whether it is worthwhile me doing my eggs again or not ( I hope so i would like one more bite at the cherry) before moving onto donor eggs - this whole damn thing is so frustrating at times, you are supposed to grow up, get married, white picket fence and babies - anyway thats what those stupid fairytales used to tell me! Oh well just like me to do everything the hard way lol. So thats where im at - Gargy have you checked out the other thread that Lulu and i go into - go to TTC buddies and its under Older woman TTC ( look at August #1) girls aged from mid 30's to mid 40's.
    Have a great day.

  7. #97

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    Hi Lissie and Lulu,

    I tried the other thread once, back when it first started, but I got a little swamped - but writing in here without you guys has been lonely...(although it was really only 4 days, as I said, I'm not exactly patient sometimes...)

    I'll try the other thread again and see what happens...

  8. #98

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    Hey Gargy,

    Don't worry...I'll keep an eye out for you here. The other thread is great and they are all lovely...but unfortunately I dont have the time to totally keep up with them as they ummm get an awful lot of chatting done in one day.
    I check in when possible but working full time ... well you get it.
    Lissie - I am glad you sent me there as they..and esp you have been terrific during this tough course of ours.
    Soooo glad its Friday and looking forward to the weekend.
    Have a good one ladies..

  9. #99

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    Hey Gargy..

    Been meaning to ask you another question.
    I soooo hope you dont get offended.
    I was wondering, after going thru so much yourself and now with your donor...have you considered doing an actual IVF cycle instead of IUI?
    Would it not increase you chances a great deal?
    Gosh - I hope I havent said the wrong thing...

  10. #100

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    Hey Lulu,

    Re, the other thread: I know exactly what you mean - I got a shock when I went back in and found out how many people had written in the time I'd been off doing other things/at work! But they seem really nice, so I'll catch up when I can.

    Re, the IVF: no I'm not offended that you're asking. I think our FS was hinting that IVF may be the way to go the last time (ie almost 12 months ago now) we saw him. I thought we'd give IUI a try one more time just to see if it would take with the new donor - but if my FS says don't waste your time, then I'm happy to go with his recommendations.

    I'm also not sure of the cost and the expense involved - so that would be something to investigate too.

    Now my day - I've been over at my Mum and Dads for a birthday get together (we get together on the first Saturday of the month if there are any birthdays within that month). It's good to see everyone from the family.

    However, two things were organised which are giving me a bit of the wobblies.

    The first is my brother's son's fete. Last year I had an hysterical crying fit when he asked me to go there due to a number of things - it was straight after we'd been told there is no sperm at the clinic and we were considering our SD friend, and I couldn't deal with all the happy families there; the children of my SIL and BIL - the ones we had a huge falling out with -attend the same school and they would be there; and my family wasn't going, so I wouldn't have a buffer.

    He's asked again and I've said yes DH and I will go, as the rest of my family will be there, but when I asked if I could throw things at BIL and SIL he didn't appreciate the joke...Oh well, I suppose it will be holding my breath and just getting through it.

    The other thing that came up was Christmas. I have been quite relieved over the past two years that we have had our Christmas on Christmas Eve with my family, so that DH and I can have a quiet one on our own - basically ignore the day. But my youngest sister (unbeknownst to me) has been quite upset by this and demanded that we have a Christmas gathering on the 25th this year. I can see her point of view - she is used to all of us being together and I'm sure she has been quite lonely on the day. I've said to Mum already I'll have to see how DH and I go.

    I've also said to DH that we'll have to turn up to his mother's gathering for Christmas - much as we'd love to ignore that too - to be there for her due to her partner's death. This is usually held late in November.

    Hopefully I will be stronger this year than I have been in the past - and if not, our attendance at these events will have to be quite short. See how I go, I suppose.

  11. #101

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    Sorry - that was a bit 'all about me' wasn't it!! Hi Lulu!! Hi Lissie!! Hope you both are going well. Thanks for reading if you get through...

  12. #102

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    Hey Gargy,
    Hope all the family stuff sorts itself out - not good when there are unresolved feelings around or you just don't want to be there. I only have a problem with one member of my family and its a BIL but hey im not married to him so now i just try to ignore most of the sarcastic things he says - still hard not to bite back though. All i know now is that since loosing to immediate family members i now value family more than anything in the world even BIL - at the end of the day family will or should always be there - but i know its hard at times when there is conflict. Hope you sort it out sweetie and enjoy christmas this year.

  13. #103

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    Hi Gargy,

    Phew...glad I didnt say the wrong thing. I just thought..since you are already going thru all this..I guess I would have thought the FS suggest IVF. Yes - way more expensive..but your chances of falling pregnant are sooo much higher. Anyway..maybe when you next see him you should ask your percentage chances with both and what his views are. I see all you have been thru in the last year and just want you to get the ultimate result.

    Good luck with the family woes..

  14. #104

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    Hi Lulu, Hi Lissie,

    Lulu - I'll ask FS when all the donor stuff is out of the way.

    I think the family stuff is just something I have to learn to deal with - DH's family are very different people to what I first believed (so have to get used to the 'real' them rather than my idealisation) - and the Christmas thing with my family is more that continual realisation that I still don't have children to celebrate with...

    Anyway, got the application done - it's due Wednesday. I'll get a few people to check tomorrow, then I'll send it in.

    Have a good week!!

  15. #105

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    Gargy- Sorry to be nosy but i noticed you are in Western Sydney and maybe thinking of going down the IVF path. Westmead have a great program and you only have to come up with the out of pocket expences. Im doing a straight IVF cycle and its only costing me $1,450 from start to finish. I think its $1,950 if your using a donor. Sorry if i'm telling you stuff you already know.

    to everyone else.
    Me- 15 days to go till egg pick up cant wait. DH and I have decided to go ahead with donating what we have left.

  16. #106

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    Hi Girls,
    Well found out some good news. Another girl that was in on of the threads told me about using donor/donor as her friend had. I got in contact with her friend and yes you can go donor/donor it you wish just got to find the right doctor. As you know we are going thru the IVF stuff using my eggs and BIL sperm last cylce didn't work have already booked in for another. I'm also on a donor embryo waiting list but the wait is verrrrry long - i also have a girlfriend willing to donate eggs to me which she has done so once in the past, so now i have confirmation that i can use donor eggs and donor sperm together its given me one more ray of hope in becoming a mummy - i will try just about anything at this stage as adoption is out of our reach now with DH age and it takes up to 6years to get processed. Gosh this is not supposed to be this complicated is it?
    Mumof5 - good luck with your egg pick up i am sure it will all go smoothly and hope you get your BFP

  17. #107

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    Hi Girls,

    Mumof5 - wow - that's a bargain compared to what I am paying..lucky you!!

    Gargy - look into this one - it is $2000 cheaper at least then a private clinic

    Lissie - I am not getting the donor thing. I thought your eggs were ok? Do they think there is a problem with them? I know about the age thing..but once they harvest, are they not happy with them? They fertilise ok right? I am having ICSI as my FS explained that with my age the eggs develop a shell and make it hard for the buggers to penetrate. I know all these docs have slightly different opinions..I guess I just like to stay informed with different ones.

    See with me..eggs look good, hormone levels still good and I know I can get pregnant..but its getting that way again and staying that way. She has said in a nice way - it's a numbers game. Some months they stick and some they dont. Ahhh to have the right number the right month....

  18. #108

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    Hi Lulu,
    Well at this stage they think my eggs are okay, but with age they are not so good, they can only look at them from the outside, like the scientists have explained to me they can only look and see what they think is a good egg and the same with sperm, but when we age it gets so much harder for us to concieve a good eggie. With my age creeping up more and more i must look at all options and that damn clock will not stop TICK TOCK TICK TOCK, so after i have some tests done this month we will see which is my best option. If they say go donor egg i will - if they say go donor/donor i will - i will do whatever it takes now - we were open to adoption but too long a process, really expensive and with DH being 50 this year (he looks about 38) he is deemed too old for many adoption centres and as adoption takes years well he will be about 55 at that stage so we have been told no point in even applying. Even though my eggs have always fertilized doesn't mean they are good eggies the magority of eggs will fertilize and make it to day 3 in the lab but after that its anyones guess and with older eggs they don't have the energy that a younger egg has and they need the energy etc to keep going and going. My clinic has one couple in their 20's they say her eggs look great, great number etc and his sperm if great too however they have gone thru 6cyles and still no pregnancy so whats up with that, you would think a young healthy couple should have no problem but it happens.

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