Am i pushing my child too far?

[Turkish Delight]

Hi,

Niliac - i know that i might be pushing my son too far or asking him to live out my dreams as a kid which i never got a chance to do. Many people have told that i am a nasty mum, in the sense that i don't allow my son to be a kid and that i give him more "homework" than what the school just provides. He is on holidays at the moment and i have bought educational homework books to complete whilst i'm at work. I may be just providing him the work because i know that he is capable. i want him to be "the best". i guess i am the one with the problem, being a perfectionist.

I spoke to my son re: Taekwondo as i was going to start phoning around for classes but when asked him AGAIN whether or not he wants to go to Taekwondo his remark was simply "i don't want to get bashed by other kids". i guess he does not know that Taekwondo is not about bashing other people up. I've explained what is and he still doesn't want to go. He wants to learn to play chess.

What am i going to do with this kid?? He doesn't want to do anything.

[Lulu]

Go buy a kite. The weather is perfect for it right now and so much FUN!

In fact you may be able to find a 'build it yourself' kite, he may like that more and he will get a chance to follow things through until the end.
I bet he would like to do anything if you are there with him. It's up to you to show him to 'push through' the things he doesn't like at the start. You can extend him in that way.......there's no point only doing things you are good at straight away. He might need a bit of resilience coaching (lots of kids do) from you, cheering from the sidelines and all that midday movie stuff.

[Rouge]

Niliac - i know that i might be pushing my son too far or asking him to live out my dreams as a kid which i never got a chance to do. Many people have told that i am a nasty mum, in the sense that i don't allow my son to be a kid and that i give him more "homework" than what the school just provides. He is on holidays at the moment and i have bought educational homework books to complete whilst i'm at work. I may be just providing him the work because i know that he is capable. i want him to be "the best". i guess i am the one with the problem, being a perfectionist.

If you know this why not try something else, sorry if that seems abrupt I just thought thats why u posted? Academic pressure and pressure to be perfect can be extremely hard on kids and again harder as an adult. It can lead to all sorts of social and emotional problems, especially anxiety and depression. I agree with Lucy go fly a kite!!!! I think you seriously need to get some fun into your lives He sounds like a bright spark already don't forget to enjoy him and the time you have with him besides the time spent for self improvement.

Good luck