I don't think you're being selfish or irrational at all....you're her Mum and you are just trying to do what you think is best for her that's all it's a hard thing leaving your first born in the care of someone else!!

I'm kinda in your situation in that I too, am a SAHM and my DD turns 2 this week. I have been considering putting her in only one day a week (for just a few hours only) as I think she'd really enjoy the social interaction with the kids there and also the other adults. She is so social! In saying this though, she gets to see lots of kids when we go to music, playgroup, swim class etc!! I'm expecting bub#2 in May and I think it would be good for DD to have that part of the week 'just for herself' where it's 'her' thing and a break from Mum. BUT in saying that, I don't think I'm ready to send her off just yet so I'm still deciding and at the moment, I'm not going to send her.

I absolutely LOVE being at home with my DD and they are only little for such a short time....I am considering now sending her 1 day a week once she turns 3. That way she'll be older then and more able to tell me if she's really enjoying it or not and what has been going on there etc.....
I think DD still very much needs me close by her side at this age too, whereas your DD is a bit older.

Still deciding..... other reasons for sending DD would be so I can have that one day a week with the new baby, but then I worry am I being selfish and thats only for 'my' benefit? kwim?? BUT I've lately realised, of course I'll get lots of time with just the baby and me and when and if DD goes off 1 day a week when she turns 3, the baby will be about 8mths of age or so, and that will be our time together then once DD starts kindy. So yeah, lots to think about LOL!!!!

GL making a decision. I think it's a hard one to make