Kawasaki - I agree with your post, but wow it took me a while to decipher it

RE - My husband has always been horrible at reading body language, vocal tones and empathising. I have known him since I was 14. Honestly I think it has been harder for me (who understood that there actually were/are awkard social pauses, he was/is just oblivious).He doesn't tend to care so much, because he doesn't notice or attributes people drawing away from him to other reaons. Having said that it is definitely not a lost cause. DH has improved dramatically in the time we have been together. I try and make an effort to explain things that I know he doesn't pick up on, and he is much better at taking the time to try and read people. He can still find it hard to empathise, unless he actually takes the time aside to try and imagine himself in a particular situation - and even then he sometimes doesn't 'get it'. I beleive that you can definitely teach social skills, which act to mimic empathy this will make life easier for her and those around her. But your DD will be only able to improve her empathy, if she has to wants to do it. Professional help is probably a very good idea, as children (in my experience) are more likely to listen and engage with someone other then their parents, and the professionals with have better tools and skills for teaching your DD.