i feel the same Freya.

after reading the young mums say they worry what the older mums will think of them and vice versa, i don't think it's an age thing.

i'm double your age Rhyb and i expect other mums (of any age) to tell me i don't know what i'm doing with bilby. i went to a mother's group where most of the mums were under 20, and i was the only one double their age. i was so in awe of the young mums. it wasn't their age that made them knowledgeable, it was their experience, knowing what to do. i learnt from them.

i feel odd like
when i'm in an environment of mainstream people, i seem to be too "alternative" for them.
when i'm in an environment of alternative people, i seem to be too "mainstream" for them.
i dont' feel i fit in anywhere.

having a child, has made me make much more of an effort. but i still dread going to other people's houses. the money/class thing always rears it's head. and we're about to go into public housing, so it's going to be even worse. I'm grateful for having a roof over our heads. I realise others will just hear the name of the suburb, and automatically judge us. the older i get, the more i feel like, fitting in, in real life, is largely connected to money. So many friends i've made over the years, i've stopped making the effort - due to embarrassment that i can't keep up with them financially. I can't spend the sort of money they do, when we "catch up". And i don't have the domestic setup they do, to entertain at home. there is an expectation and i can't meet it.