Does your appearance reflect who you are?

[AnyDream]

I've had some moments of late when I look in the mirror and I wonder if other people see the same 'me' from the outside that I see from the inside.

Do you think your own physical appearance reflects who you are? Are you comfortable with the way you look?

[Phteven]

No. I look pretty boring but I like to think I'm wild at heart.
I've found it really hard to find a style that expresses who I am since I started wearing the scarf and since the boys arrived even harder to find the time. Just trying on clothes seems like an effort with a child in tow and I used to be so fussy about the perfect fit. I barely wear make-up now.

I feel quite depressed now I've thought about it.

[Indadhanu]

Hmmmmm, I'm not sure. Actually I've thought about this today, since I shaved my hair off last night. People say it looks really natural, like it's who I am. Makes me wonder, since I have had long hair since I was a child. What is my appearance is relation to me? Am I now 'showing' who I am, have I been 'wearing' a mask in my appearance all this time? Am I changing, hence the change... so many quesions... That doesn't answer but at least you know that I know what you mean.

[Willow]

I'm a bit like Onyx, I feel like I look a bit more boring than I really am. Well as I perceive myself to be anyway I was growing my hair out, just for a change, but I just felt sooooo boring and mundane that I went and cut it again and coloured it.

Must be hard when you can't really use your hair in that way Onyx, because it's covered?

Days like today when I'm at home with the kids all day and haven't been anywhere and I'm just wearing jeans, a hoodie and my chuck taylors I don't feel like I look like I really am, but I just don't have the time to put the effort in...or to do the shopping...or the money to buy the stuff

My sister and I were just talking about this the other night. We both like stuff (clothes, shoes, bags etc) that is a little different, a bit unique. But we now find ourselves pausing a lot and asking 'are we too old for that now? Is it a bit too 'out there'?' We are both in our early 30s, she is 2.5 years older than me. But we both still feel like we're 20!

[Bathsheba]

I think about this all the time. I don't think I look like the person I am. For a start I don't look Anglo even though I basically am... bar 1/8 Swedish blood. I have near black hair. Taxi drivers are always asking where i come from... "you no Aussie... you Greek? Italian?" When they insist I am not Anglo i say... "well apparently i look like my Swedish relatives..." they totally reject that.... Swedes are meant to be blonde everyone knows that

I also don't look like I particularly belong in a Mother's group... I look too complicated i think... i don't look all soft and maternal. Just my perceptions.

When i was a kid in primary school i wore glasses. The kids decided this made me look smart and called me "wise one"... or "Oh Wise". Either that or the usual 'four eyes'. But i wasn't wise... I had very poor social skills... so shy and inept at reading situations... naive to the point of it being a joke... and particularly slow in maths. Maybe it was then i realised you should never read a book by it's proverbial cover... or trust what people labelled you.

[mummato1]

Wow, now that is weird.... I was only just wondering the exact same thing this morning!!!

I was getting ready this morning to take DS shopping and I was wondering how people perceive me based on how I look / what I wear / how I act.

I have been told in the past by a few people that they were scared of me before they got to know me.. I think its because I am quiet, I like to watch and take it all in.. It takes me a long time to get to know people, and I am often very incomfortable in social situations. I think I come across sometimes as un-friendly, but I am not at all.. I am shy and most of the time I dont know what to say!

I think the way I dress does reflect my personality.. I am pretty conservative on the outside but I do have a fun side. For example I stick to simple jeans and black clothes most of the time. But underneath I am full of colour!! My underwear is usually bright : ) I think its because of what I said earlier, I just want to fit it and keep things simple.. but really I would to stand out but I am too scared too..

My DP is a completely different person to how is perceived from the outside.. People think my DP is a yobo, and in a way I guess he is... but that he his mask, its his way to fit in at the footy club etc. In reality he is very insecure, sensitive and very very sweet.. He has a huge heart, and love his family and friends very much.. I often think its a shame that no one knows the 'real' him.

[Willow]

I have been told in the past by a few people that they were scared of me before they got to know me.. I think its because I am quiet, I like to watch and take it all in.. It takes me a long time to get to know people, and I am often very incomfortable in social situations. I think I come across sometimes as un-friendly, but I am not at all.. I am shy and most of the time I dont know what to say!

Wow, you have just described me perfectly! I am exactly the same and have experienced the same thing pretty much all my adolescent and adult life. I must admit though, I got to my mid twenties and just went 'Scr*w it, this is me. If people can't take the time to let me be comfortable and get to know me properly, then it's their loss'. It still bothers me when it happens, but nowhere near as much.

[mummato1]

Really! How funny.. good to know its not just me then Yeah I know what you mean.. I try not to let it bother me but every now and again it does. I am more comfortable with the fact that thats how I am.. and I do have some fantastic friends who know the real me and thats what counts at the end of the day.

OMG Bathsheba.. you just hit the nail on the head for me too!! I have the same thing happen to me.. I am of irish / english heritage, but I am about 5th or 6th generation Australian and I am ALWAYS asked if I am Italian or Greek because of my dark hair and olive skin. A greek lady came up me at the supermarket and started talking to me in Greek and I had no idea what she was saying.. turns out she thought I was too!! I have also been told to go back to my own country

[Willow]

I do have some fantastic friends who know the real me and thats what counts at the end of the day.

So do I, and you know that's what made it easier for me to deal with. They took the time to get to know the real me and they are wonderful friends, so I can't be all bad right?

[~Kim~]

hmmm sometimes I guess....yes.
I learnt a long time ago that just cos fashions were current, didn't mean that they had to be worn, and wearing what I loved made me feel more comfortable, and therefore more of me came out IYKWIM?
In relation to physical stuff yes I think it does. The wrinkles starting for form around my eyes (despite years of good face clean/moist/high SPF) show that I like to smile and laugh, my sometimes crazy curls definitely reflect me, yet sometimes they are sleek and polished, my eyes are green and a bit different, just like me.

Yes I'm comfortable in the way I look, but it was a looong loong time coming. I'm comfortable with me, the whole me, and the way I project is a part of that. Like you MD I often wonder though if what comes across as perceived by me, is what others see too though.

[Bathsheba]

Hmmm, yes it could be a bit problematic moving to a country town... My clothing options will be severely limited. DD is by no means a slave to fashion but her recent relocation to a country boarding school has seen her clothing choices make her feel on the outer. She's adapting though by dressing more plainly... It's just what you have to do when you are 15 and want to fit in.

My biggest concern is the harsher sun. I have to say its been easier sheilding my skin from aging UV rays down here in Melbourne than it will be up north. Maybe its why i dont generally look my age. Girls: wear sun block daily even when it's overcast. I stopped tanning when I was 15... The best thing I ever did to help me look closer to how I feel rather than my actual age. You hear so many little old ladies who say that they still feel 21 inside... Don't laugh but I'm getting a glimpse of that... It's quite disconcerting. SPF minimum of 15 in your foundation girls

[tattoo_mama]

i feel like i am nowhere near as hot as i am in my head
in my head i look like my avatar.... skinny and love wearing revealing goth type clothes, but in reality i dont have the time or money to look like that.

i often get depressed caus i feel very un-feminine, cause ive put on a good 10kg since having DD and usually get around in jeans and a top, and have cut my hair very short, i feel like a boy alot...

on weekends when i go out i find thst my clothes arent as outrageous as id like and i always spend ages doing makeup and end up looking really dull compared to the girls who can do amazing makeup effects, fake lashes and can afford amazing corsets and stuff... plus i think i look good in photos but not IRL...