Ok I'll admit it, I have self-worth issues. And I think thats the reason for my negativity pointed towards myself. Of course, my low self-esteem doesn't help, but I think my lack of faith in myself and what I can achieve stems from my non-existent self-worth. For example, I had a VBA2C - yay for me - but now its like, oh it was a fluke, no way could I do it again, it'll all go to crap because I can't do it. But if I was talking to a friend, I would be saying to them - hey you've done it once, your body knows what to do, of course you can do it. But I can't tell myself that, its not in me to say that to myself.

Of course I have issues stemming from my parent's divorce, my father wanting nothing to do with us, and even us moving to tassie to be closer to him hasn't made him want to be close to me. Or to my kids.

Not to mention all my past relationships, failed engagements, failed marriage - its all a part of it. My exH took away most of my self-worth and I know that, but I don't know how to get it back. I don't know how to build it back up when so many people have taken it from me. And yes, of course I know that I let them take it from me, I think I'm a weak person at heart, I let people use me because I think they are my friend, and it turns out that they're not, I let them walk over me because I just want people to like me (wow that was brutally honest).

Even with my friends I don't like to hound them too much or ask if I can hang around them because I'm sure they would get sick of me. Basically I don't think I'm very likable, and I'm pretty sure its all coming from the same place.

I don't like being like this. I'd like to get past my father rejecting me, my past boyfriends/husband rejecting me.

Even though I have a DH and we've been married for nearly 5 years - it still hasn't helped with my issues, and really, nor should it. DH shouldn't be responsible for building something up within myself - I have to do it, but I don't know how.

I just want to stop feeling like I don't matter, that I'm worth nothing and I definitely don't want to pass any of this onto my kids.

Any advice would be most welcome.