Trust me - you are not alone in feeling cranky and frustrated about behavioural issues that conflict with your own. I have come to the similar conclusions to you about our philosophy of parenting - which is for the most part gentle parenting style - that nothing else sits well with me like this does. It doesn't mean it is always easy.

Before I say too much more, I will warn you, even after nearly 3 years of parenting, I am still sporting my L plates so don't take anything I say as gospel.

I find that often when I start to feel really negative, I have to take a step backwards and just decide to deal with this issue right now in a calm way. I have to make a really conscious effort to change my attitude. I know it is soooo much easier said than done, but when I have managed it, the payoffs have been great.

Usually it involves, stopping, taking a deep breath and going over in my head what I am going to do to stay calm and then dealing with my kids in a calm way if it kills me. It is not a magic cure and things don't always turn around but if I manage to stay calm, I feel better about myself and I find it easier to be calm the next time. Once I get into a cycle of feeling frustrated, if I continue to feed that cycle, I just find it easier and easier to be frustrated.

Sometimes, if I am beyond frustrated, I just have to leave them to cry in their cots or have some quiet time in their room. I need to calm myself down before I interact with my baby.

Sleep deprivation is a killer and nothing can prepare you for how bad it can be at times. I think I get through it by thinking that it can't last for ever and getting sleep in wherever I can.

Don't know if anything I said is particularly helpful or even makes sense. It is a tough job, this parenting gig so know that other people struggle with the same issues. I console myself with the fact that I would probably be dealing with the same issues and feelings of guilt if I parented in a different way.

Good luck with everything. I hope your DS decides to sleep for you soon