Thanks Meow thats true! And I should remember that sometimes he is short in messages because he is in pain...not because all of a sudden he doesn't love me. Then loves me again the next day!! When I look at it rationally without the emotion it's just so crazy!! But at the time it's the end of the world...
There is a proper name for it that has escaped my mind, but its along the lines of when your feeling or thinking of something that you dont want to be, you have a physical trigger, something you do.. like a rubber band on your wrist that you flick, or a certain part of your body that you touch...
But the other part of it is that you actually spend time "loading" this physical thing with what you DO want to feel. So spend a few minutes a day say holding your left wrist feeling loved, feeling wanted, feeling secure. Really feel it... and send that energy into your body. And then when you find your self feeling needy, you grab your left wrist, and those good feeling should burst out of you and you will feel them.
It takes time though.. you need to get your anchor (the part of your body your going to hold or touch) fully fuelled before it will become reliable, and you also need to "re fuel" it with the good energy!
Hun, I used to be like that with my DF. I now know that I was acting out of insecurity. He's got 3 kids from a previous r'ship, and I constantly used to ask if he loved me (like I was worried that he loved the kids more than me and I was the fourth in line, lol). If he didn't txt, he didn't care. If he sounded grumpy or just flat on the phone, he didn't love me anymore, etc. Even if he was giving me a kiss goodbye and it was a quick kiss, I would say to him, 'do it like you mean it'!! Half the time he did the 'quick' kisses when we were in front of the kids and he was all embarrassed. These days I don't ask anymore because he's proven to me time and time again that he loves me as much as a person CAN be loved. It only took about 4 years of me asking if he loved me though!
Thanks MissB...yep, insecuritites...the stupid thing is i'm not an insecure person! Really happy with myself and know 100% i'm loveable lol. And when we;re together it's not there at all...just pops up in the car as soon as I leave, seriously
Starbright thats an awesome idea...I used to do that with a gratitude rock. So as soon as I held it I felt gratitude, i'll start doing it with this...thansk that is exactly what I need
Instead of asking yourself 'does he still love me' how about 'am I being loveable?' If the answer is 'no, I'm acting crazy' then that should be enough of a trigger to snap you out of that mode. I guess if all else fails you have two choices. To love freely and without fear of rejection, with the possibility of it all going down in flames - OR - to freak yourself out on a daily basis entertaining thoughts of him disassociating himself with you. Either way, it could all go down in flames so I say enjoy it while it lasts.
It totally did thank you...I was thinking more along the lines of coming in here and getting someone to say "Rach, you're being a ****@r" but your idea is better lol.
And you're right, you have to love freely, it makes so much sense when i'm feeling "normal" i'll just have to make sure "Crazy Rach" comes in here and talks to you guys if i'm feeling like that again!
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