Preventing the early sexualisation of our children

[Trillian]

The issue I have with the leg waxing at an early age is that it teaches very young girls, who are some years out from puberty, is that they must suffer pain to be asthetically pleasing to the eye - some will say it's for their benefit and that if they start early it is easier for them in the long run as the hair is finer at that age but personally I think it's a load of B.S. It's an unhealthy attitude to have an one that can only be instilled by a parent because at that age they don't care what their legs look like. I could probably have gotten away with not shaving them for a bit longer as they weren't terribly dark or anything.

[Krisvee]

Look...with the waxing etc...I think we've got to be lead by the children...yes it's societies pressure to have us women looking so hair free but I think it would be far more damaging to say no to a young girl and have her ridiculed or made fun of at school. The fact is it's important for most kids to fit in when they're growing up (with they're peers anyway!) I think we need to support them in that as well as make the aware of all of the different choices and options that are available to them...

[Trillian]

I guess you would have to ask them why they want it done - if it's peer pressure because all the other girls are doing it, then no way known would I let my DD's get it done but if they were being teased about hairy legs, or dark hair on their legs, then of course I would be sympathetic but I would still avoid waxing and teach them how to shave their legs instead.

[The[cookie]Doctor]

Mum has never shaved her legs (or waxed or anything) the hairs are so blonde and fine. I wish I had of listened as mine were and probably would have stayed that way.

[Bathsheba]

Thankfully with my DD hair on the legs has never been an issue. She didn't start shaving until well into highschool and even now in year 9 she could probably get away without doing it. Quite a few girls in her year don't remove their leg hair. She goes to a girls-only school. It seems to me that they care about grooming... but don't obsess over hair removal it as much as I experienced at a co-ed school. They also freely talk about having their period which floored me the first time I heard it... DD and a friend were talking about swimming and "everyone had their period at the same time this month so only about 5 girls swam today" this was in the school grounds... no way known would me or any other girl have spoken about having a period at school. I'm so glad my DD is free of this pressure... it was awful for me. I also agree to hair removal being child led to a certain extent... my mother didn't support my hair removal until high school and i have black leg hairs... goes with having black head hair. School was a very cruel place indeed Oh how much easier the blonde girls seemed to have it.

[kelebek]

When my mother sent me to a catholic all girls highschool I hated her for it but tbh I think it was the best thing. As I had a similar experience to Bath DD. I wonder if it is because there are no boys there was less pressure to look 'good' to iykwim? I very rarely shaved my legs then and now (I am getting them waxed for my sisters wedding though ) We openly talked about AF and most things in general.

I pity any girls I have as they will also be going to an all girls high school while I believe that boys do better in co-ed schools.

Do I have double standards probably

[Bathsheba]

That's good to hear that it's a common experience Kelebek I was wondering if it was just something particular to my DD's school... the teachers put in a lot of effort to make sure there is minimal pressure to look a particular way... the school policy is HUGE on all forms of diminishing negative peer pressure.

[Jellyfish]

That is interesting! Just to put it out there; I went to a co-ed school (Lutheran Private) and didn't start shaving till grade 9, it was around then that most of my friends started but quite a number did not. I was definitely thinking high school age when I was pondering these topics!

We also talked about periods and swimming! They had to bring in a one week, once a month rule without a doctor's certificate because some people abused this by claiming it constantly. We also always had somebody around who knew to check us during that time when we stood up since leaks on white dresses is very obvious!! It definitely was not a taboo subject at all.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I was teased by boys and girls about my hair. So I shaved. That made it worse. I asked Mum if I could wax: she said no way.

Should my daughter come to me wanting hair removal, then I will be fine with it. Rather that then her peers laughing at her. About something so easily solved. Without pain - anyone who finds waxing painful doesn't have a good waxer!

eta - just to add that I was past puberty here. Very dark hair all over my body. I wouldn't do it to a tot! My hair was fine pre-puberty and not an issue.

[Jellyfish]

I was teased by boys and girls about my hair. So I shaved. That made it worse. I asked Mum if I could wax: she said no way.

Should my daughter come to me wanting hair removal, then I will be fine with it. Rather that then her peers laughing at her. About something so easily solved. Without pain - anyone who finds waxing painful doesn't have a good waxer!

Totally agree!

When I began it was because I overheard some girls discussing females who didn't shave, although no names were mentioned as a non-shaver with dark hair I felt so embarrassed. It was mid-way through grade 9 and I went home that night, asked my Mum and had her help me rid the worry! Personally, I think the stress of being bullied would be more damaging to self-confidence and development than somebody removing their hair.