I too carry lots of baggage from the way I was parented and am quite fearful that history will repeat itself. I will never scream abuse at my child or deride her as was done to me by my father, and I will never turn a blind eye to abuse as my mother did. But I fear that there are things that run deeper than those overtly 'wrong' things. I already hear myself saying things that they did and notice subtle things in my tone or manner that come directly from my parents and I cringe.

I guess all I can do is be a Mindful parent. Watch myself carefully, notice the patterns and habits as they arise and without freaking out about it, just decide to do different next time. So much of the old 'stuff' from our pasts is unconscious. It's built into the core from when we were too little to really consciously process it so it becomes a deep part of out automatic responses, particularly in the way we respond to highly emotional situations. I hope that I can learn to notice these things, label them as 'old, useless but forgivable' and move on.

Sorry if that's a little abstract. I'm having a day of pondering mindfulness and that's what came up for me when I saw this thread.

Love your thinking Jessica, great thread.