totally agree, its great to hear others perspectives.. i must say i never realised how unhealthy it was to put this expectations on yourself aswell as to have others put them on you aswell.. i agree with maz in that 'could' is a much better would to use to replace should, its made me rethink how i say things and how my words come across to others too.

Inanna- i think to much too hun, it just in my nature to analyse absolutly everything lol

instead of using 'should' to tear down your self esteem using another word to turn it into something more construtive and less domineering it could be replaced with could e.g 'i should be better at this' to ' i could be be better at this' such a subtle but powerful change when you think about the negative impacts 'shoulds' have on us.


now im blabbering lol