I wanted to say congratulations too - for recognising the pattern and making a plan to change. I'm sure you will enjoy your closer relationship with your son and everything in life by being more present.
Thanks Pixie, you're right, I'm already enjoying everything a lot more. It feels like I've suddenly woken up & felt the light of day. I feel so ALIVE! Realising what a wet rag I was before though Ahwell, onwards & upwards.

If anyone else reading this happens to have a similar problem, I highly recommend making a plan to rectify it. It's so very worth it.