McDonalds Birthday parties – Ergh... never again. WDYT, WWYD?

[Epacris]

OK, just to set the scene, eating good, real, fresh, food is very important to DH and me. We try hard to minimise the amount of salt, sugar and fat in our diet and we try not to eat processed food very often. We are not food control freaks, we do allow ourselves and our kids to eat crap and allow other people (grandparents ) to feed them crap too.... in moderation.

We also feel we are aware consumers, we try hard to look beyond marketing hype. We HATE excessive packaging and we especially HATE WITH A PASSION small, useless, plastic crappy things and especially underhand (unethical) marketing to children.

DS is 4 and has had McDonalds once (just recently) in his life when we were desperate and it was the only option. He thought it was old McDonald’s farm and asked if we would see a pig (how ironic!). When we drive past a McDonalds he thinks it’s a petrol station.

Anyway, the three of us (DS, DD and me) turned up to our first McDonalds birthday party today. I was expecting it to be bad but it was seriously hideous.

My issues:
- Why would you PAY MONEY to be marketed to. Why would you PAY for the privilege of getting your kids hooked on that utterly crap food. (Yes, we didn’t actually pay anything, but I’m sure the parents of the birthday child would have forked out hundreds).
- It was in a room that was more like a cell with adult furniture so the kids couldn’t even eat the crap comfortably.
- There was an open door that was 5m from the main driveway in and out of the place. Major safety issue! (I couldn’t believe parents actually left their children there. NO WAY was I leaving mine there without me.)
- The party "host" was just the teen-something that got the roster that day, obviously no experience with children.
- The kids were made to sit down on the fitly, dirty cold floor to play games.
- One game involved going to the playground and the host throwing straws everywhere (great, industrial pollution incident!) that the children then collected. She also hid two other crappy plastic toys that they were supposed to find. And this is the bit that has left me chilled to the bone. She made all the children face the wall, close their eyes and put their hands over their faces. Then she said to them in a seriously menacing tone that they were not to peak while she was hiding the toys, that she was watching them and that if she caught anyone peaking they would be OUT! She said this several times and my DS was terrified. She then got side tracked and all the children just got bored and started playing except my poor darling boy who was absolutely glued to that wall with his eyes shut so tight, it brought tears to mine. Nothing I could say to him would make him move so I had to go and get “her” to release him (and told her how terrified he was and to bloody well tone it down a bit!).
- The amount of rubbish we created was appalling. I hate that “throw away” mentality.
- The amount of rubbish we came home with was even more appalling. What a great way to unload all their unsold plastic bits of crap.

Anyway, I have decided that if we get invited to another McDonalds party I will politely decline. I won’t lie and say we’ve got something else on, I’ll say "I’m sorry our family just doesn’t do McDonalds parties".

What do you think? Would you be offended if someone said this to you? Am I going to harm my children by not letting them go to these things?

[Ahurani]

We had McDonalds parties/HJ parties when we were young. Im still breathing now. I dont think something thats done once a year is going to harm a child. Its your choice not to let your kids go to the parties but I guess you have to weigh it up between the social aspect and what you believe in?

[Tinks]

It's your decision whether to allow your child to do something or not. I don't know what you mean by 'harm' but it sounds as though the McDonalds party wasn't a good experience for your DS so he probably won't mind if he didn't go to one ever again.

I wouldn't be offended at all if someone declined an invitation because they don't like McDonalds. Acutally, I wouldn't be offended if they declined an invitation without a reason. I don't get all narky over birthday parties. Your reason is a valid one though. I wouldn't allow my kids to go to a birthday party at a circus because it goes against my way of thinking, your stance on Maccas is no different to that in my eyes.

[Epacris]

I know, I know and like I said, we are not food control freaks but everything about the marketing, packaging and waste associated with it has just left me seething!

ETA: Tinks, yeah, I’ve got no idea what I meant by “harm my child” either?

[Astrolady]

I have never let my kids go back to a McDonalds party since we were at one once. When it came time to cut their cake they brought out two. One pre cut and one for the child to blow out the candle. The one that the child blew and spat all over then went back out into the store room. We were all thinking... umm what are they doing with that cake, is that just the spit cake or will that be cut up for the next party. Totally freaked a few of us out and there ended up being a lot of pre cut cake sitting on the tables gradually melting in case that was the spit cake from the previous party.

I have had HJs parties for my own kids, and totally agree about the people who are in charge of the games etc.

If someone told me that they don't "do" HJs/Maccas parties, then it wouldn't offend me.

[Catherine]

Are you kidding? I would not have even gone to this party!

Be true to yourself, just no. YOu don't have to justify yourself or even give an excuse. Just Say NO!

That sounds like an absolutly awful experience. *shudders*

LOts of hugs and outdoor play seems the order of the day!

We were invited to a birthday at hungry jacks when DD was 2 - I think I said "sorry, but we won't be able to make it"....I said no, because, like you, the thought of it appalled me.

I reckon you'd be doing more harm taking your son to such parties...and if the hypothetical people are offended by you turning down the invite to theit unimaginative party...welll...who cares!

(sorry, it is getting late, and I may be a bit over tired...but I am so with you on this issue...avoid it like the plague)

[Ahurani]

Bah! I forgot to add that I wouldnt be offended if someone said they dont do Maccas parties. Damn baby brain

[Pandora]

I wouldn't be offended.
And on the cake, the times we've seen more than one was because that supplied one and the parents brought their own as well.

[Trillian]

I understand the appeal of having one at McDonalds for parents who don't really have anywhere else suitable to hold a party or who just don't want to host a party at home. But that party just sounds awful. Id be putting in a complaint about the way that girl spoke to the kids because that is just inappropriate IMO. But I'm like you, I would hate the thought of my kids going to a macca's party. We go there sometimes, sure, but I still don't like them LOL.

And I hope DS was OK after that

[*Ash*]

I am so thankful that we have never been invited to a Maccas party. If we were, I would politely decline the invitation.
I agree with your comments about pollution, waste, marketing, etc.
We don't eat animals, so that would be my major reason for giving it a miss.

[Epacris]

Trill, he’s fine, it’s the seriously hormonal Mumma Bear that’s still calming down.

[Junglemum]

Nope, I wouldn't be offended at all. We all have our beliefs and its important to stand by them. I'm not a fan of maccas kids parties either, i don't like much about the company and their ethics (after reading fast food nation) although I do love a bacon and egg muffin, and the convenience of drive through is just so tempting sometimes!

[Doing my best]

While I wouldn't stop my child going to one, I would never have one there.

I don't think it is fair to punish the child who is having the party by not allowing the invited guests to go. More often than not, the kids don't get a say. If they want a party, the parents say it is here, or none at all. They think it is a 'convenient' way to go without considering all the stuff mentioned by previous posters. I feel much the same about play centres. I hate them as I can't keep an eye on both children, especially now they are at the ages of doing separate activities (3 yr and 18 months).

I wouldn't be offended if someone didn't want to come to a party I was hosting if it was against their beliefs, but I have not yet come against anything I am so passionately against that I am faced with that decision. But that is not to say that I don't respect the way you see it.

[Fleur]

Be true to yourself, just no. YOu don't have to justify yourself or even give an excuse. Just Say NO!

I wouldn't be offended, but I wouldn't mind knowing why, either... if you just said no, or that you don't 'do' them it might leave me wondering what the problem is (asusming that if theoretical 'I' am holding the party, I don't have a problem with it)
I wouldn't think you have to go into great detail, just a basic ... '_' .... erm, I don't know what.. just so they know it's not personal?

[Phteven]

I wouldn't be offended if you turned down an invitation to a party because you didn't like the theme or location.
I've never been to a McD/HJ's party but it sounds scary

[Gigi]

i feel strongly about fast food parties too, but as bilby is about to start school soon, i wonder if i will get put in the position of having to do the same, decide to let her go or not. And if i will fold, under the pressure of
- her excitement to go to a "birthday party" (she would have little idea of a fast food party - they don't sound very child friendly to me)
- the peer pressure of "everyone else is going except me" type comments.

Once i took my step daughter to a fast food party. EVERY child in the class was invited (29). Too many kids really, it was just a noisy rabble. No-one really enjoyed themselves. I think it was very overwhelming for the birthday child too. It was at a posh school, i remember being surprised that affluent people would choose a fast food party, but i can see the "no mess, no hassle" aspect - home is not trashed. But parents still brought quite a bit of stuff for the party, even though it was supposedly fully catered for by the fast food place. It was a relief to leave the party.

my dd's birthday usually falls in heatwave weather, and every year i go thru the mindgames of "how do i transport the food and keep it cool, in a park/playground?" cos i don't have a suitable home to host a party in either, so i do get the "location" aspect. I deal with the numbers of children, by iniviting the number of children, the age that bilby is turning. So if she is four, i invite four little friends. No structure except for "cake time". Last year, i provided music, encourage invitees to dress up, and they all danced around in fairy outfits - had a blast being giggly, whirling, kids.

i think as children get older, it would be harder to turn down an invite, without serious upset from the child. I'm trying to teach bilby to look after the environment, not be wasteful etc, but i'm not sure my environmental reasonings, would calm her down, in the same situation as you describe ECAPRIS. I'm sure i would try, but i'm not game to predict what the actual outcome would be, UNTIL bilby is actually in school, and we come up against this situation.

From your description, i would want to supervise and watch like a hawk too. One bad experience, would prolly be "enough ammunition" for me to say to bilby ' remember how awful the last fast food party was?

things like this, that were clear cut for me PRE CHILD, are suddenly blurring into "shades of gray", now i am a parent. Makes me feel wishy washy, but it's really how i feel. Unsure basically. I'm bringing up a single child, already feeling very guilty for my low rates of socialising - which then in turn mean low socialising for bilby.

Once she's at school, maybe it will all become clearer. I can't just hope that the situation won't come up, cos i'm sure it will. (and the electronic hand held games, and the kids with access to all the stuff i have kept from her so far e.g computers. all day kids cable channels). i feel so out of my depth.

Rach, i feel so strongly about McHappy Meals, Fun Meals etc (all that unethical marketing to children, the linking of toys to their brand), that even with our food issues (her not eating), even when i was so desperate, i bought her junk food at HJ, i bought her food individually, so she did not get the brightly coloured kids box with plastic toy inside. She didn't eat anything but the french fries. she loves cheese, so i thought she might try the cheeseburger - but no.

I do have a friend, who bought Macca's, started eating it to find a roach inside the burger - so i just can't bring myself to go there, plus they don't have salad in the burgers.

[Party-of-five]

DS had a few Hungry jacks birthday parties, its what he asked for at the time all his friends were having them there.
I wouldn't have been offended if ppl didn't come because of where it was.

[Glamourcide]

Okay, I'll admit - when I saw the title of this thread I thought I knew how it was going to go. So I apologise for pre-judging!
I went to a few Macca's birthday parties as a kid. They were pretty sad affairs, but the one you describe sound really terrible - your poor DS! Upon thinking back to my own experiences, yes, they were pretty bad - I remember my parents throwing a Macca's party for my brother when he was little (before McDonald's restaurants introduced those conference/party rooms separate from the rest of the restaurant) and we were crammed down the back near the toilets, taking up about 8 tables, then for the games of duck-duck-goose, the teen 'host' took us across the drive-thru to a tiny patch of grass in the carpark (YES, you read right!) as there simply was nowhere else to sit. Back in those days, we also got the 'tour' of McDonald's and took turns sitting in the freezer amongst boxes of burger patties et al - I imagine those days are thing of the past lol, we got to walk right past the chip fryers and see staff squirting ketchup onto buns - good times! (*cough* sarcasm lol...)

But yeah. They didn't do me a great deal of harm as a child, but I'd probably be inclined to decline an invite to one if my kids were invited to them. I can appreciate that parents can't find suitable locations to throw a party for their child (I'm spoiled for choice here, a massive fenced yard in suburbia and plenty of nearby public places like the marina, botanic gardens etc that are easily accessible), and/or may not want to bother with all the mess and hassle that comes with organising a birthday party... I'm not strongly opposed to the ethical practices or the quality of food at fast food joint parties but as others have said, they just don't seem to be the most enjoyable parties for kids or parents, and that's not even taking into account the crud food, the environmental/ethical concerns regarding excessive waste/packaging/plastic junk toys and all the rest.

Like I said, I'm lucky to have the circumstances that allow me to have parties at home (the kids are so small right now that it's usually strictly family, maybe a couple of friends with their kids but yeah, not like the whole daycare class is invited or anything... yet!), so I can't say whether I would be offended or not if a parent declined an invite should I ever throw a McD's or HJ's party. To be honest, I probably *would* be offended for a minute, and assume that the parent in question is just one of those snotty so-and-so's who thinks they're better than all the other parents for being 'above' junk food, junk toys and 'lazy' parenting, but I'd get over it pretty quickly and think of all the reasons that have been discussed here so far and decide it's not something I should take personally.

Umm... well that was long-winded lol! Long story short - no, I wouldn't be offended if I invited your child to a fast-food birthday party and you declined. I can understand why. I would probably *want* to decline an invite for my child to attend such a party, but I'd probably give in and take them so that they don't get upset about 'everyone else is going'... but I can't say for sure whether that would happen anyway, the situation hasn't arisen yet and my girls are too small to even know there's a party on unless they attend lol
It's a tricky one, for sure, but you have to do what works for you and your family. If that means running the risk of offending someone, then I guess that's life! A reasonable person (I would hope) would have a think and come to the same conclusions we have, and get over any 'insult', and if they don't, then that's their loss