I can be very difficult to get blokes to go to counselling Babysocks - is there anyone else in yours or his family that can have a word to him so he's got someone a bit more impartial to get his feelings on the table with?

I do think he needs to seriously consider whether he wants to do this or not. If he does, then you can be a bit patient and let things take their time but if he doesn't even want to give it a shot, then I think you'd be better off without him. Way too stressful to be looking after a small baby AND deal with a partner who's there in body but not in spirit.

But you don't need to "decide" today or tomorrow. Take your time but do ask him to start thinking about what he wants to do from here because this just ain't working for you right now.