Child Development discussion

[nickel]

Hoobley - I wasn't having a go at you? I cannot imagine how you have coped as a single parent. but as you said Definitely anything that stimulates a baby who is over tired is not good

It's so hard to NOT be personal 1. because we are mums, 2. because there is so little scientific statistical study, and so much anecdotal knowledge about these kind of issues that matter!

I suppose if we accept that stress as a baby can shape your future personality or adaptability to life, then why stop at after the birth, I do think how you are born often can "show"/shape your personality - for example my brother had his cord around his wrist and "panicked" - ie. heart beat increased rapidly irregularly and it's so consistent with who he is. My birth was also incredibly traumatic - i was born extra uterine - ie. outside the uterus and my mother nearly died. I had nightmares until age 6 or 7 that my mother and I have since discussed and completely agree is based on my birth ( they were colours and sounds and feelings - I know babies don't have memories as such) so how much of that had an affect on anything?

Christy - that makes me think too that Matilda's birth was very traumatic, which may have links to the non-genetic nurture part of her behaviour not related to the allergies? and the 3 years of milk allergy too...which is why her behaviour won't change over night as the stress inducer has gone (milk), but she has learnt those stressed behaviours?

Astrid - that was a WAY cool show I hope they keep going, and 7-up was SO fascinating too. One of my all time favourite "social commentaries". Congrats on typing and thinking coherently so close to giving birth!

[paradise lost]

Sorry Nickel i was pre-empting something that wasn't actually happening - we've had a cold since the end of last week. I am having newborn-nights (up for 40mins every 4 hours for nappy change (she has awful rash), 3 kinds of medicine, wash snot off face and hands, cuddle back to sleep) and toddler-days (run about madly trying to stop her injuring herself/wrecking the house). Now i have re-read your post i can't even see WHY i felt the need to clarify... Head up bum. Sorry hun!

I agree that it's hard to talk without anecdotal evidence (i.e. personal experiences) forming a large basis of our opinions/views. I suppose the main problem is that it's highly unethical to "test" kids and parents HAVE to be flexible so it's hard to study a group who use one style or another - it relies on them being consistent all the time and people just aren't!

LOL at you not knowing how i cope alone - i don't know how people cope with two!!

I definitely agree that birth trauma has lasting effects. My brother (the premmie) was prem because of placenta praevia which suddenly haemorrhaged at 31 weeks. He was born 2 weeks later but hadn't grown at all in that time as the placenta was still bleeding a bit and compromised. This was 1977 and because the bleeding had mainly stopped and was from my mum and not him they thought it better to keep him in as long as possible (31 week babies still didn't do all that well in those days). She had been in and out of hossie for the last 4 months - they knew she had praevia. Anyway he was born by emergency section. He nearly died the first night and a vicar came and Christened him (mum was still in recovery after massive blood loss) and while he was out of the crib his lungs collapsed. Now, maybe it was unrelated but he has ALWAYS had a terrible fear of water. He can swim but hates it and throughout childhood and into teens despised having water put on his face or head. He said he could remember being in a box where no-one could hear him from early childhood dreams. He also, and this is a bit more of a stretch, has a thing about knives. Not that he's a knife weilding nutter, but he collects them and says he feels safer having them in the house (he's 6'4" and about 110kg!). No-one else in our family is remotely interested in that sort of thing. I always wonder, after barely coping for two weeks with the struggling placenta, if he felt "rescued" by the knife of the ob?

Bx