Do you enjoy being a SAHM?

[Roryrory]

I found being a SAHM very boring when I was in the thick of it, but then when I went back to work full time after Flynn was born (and I was pregnant with Oliver) I idealised that time to the point where I resented workng. Then once I was home full time with both kids I was dying to get back to work, but once again soon started imagining how much happier I would be to be a SAHM.

THEN I LOST MY JOB!

I unexpectedly found myself without a major part of my identity - my career - and I very quickly realised you have to be careful what you wish for.

The moral of the story, and the conclusion I have come to - I want it all. At the same time. I want all that goes with a full time career (the responsibility, drive, money, respect, and dare I say, power) AS WELL AS everything that goes with being a full time mum (the time to be with my children, volunteer my time, cook lovely meals, keep a clean house, and have coffee with the girls). But I don't want to be away from ,y kids all day while I work and I don't want to feel like I am in groundhog day cleaning the same kitchen bench every day!

So, what do I do?

For someone who is an atheist, I suprisingly take solace in a passage in the Bible. To everything there is a season. A time for everything. Now I tell myself it is my time to work while my DH is home with the kids (he feels as you do, by the way!) but at some other time it may be my time to be home. I just have to try to see the good in my situation at the time, to make it as interesting and bearable as possible. All that said, I think the only way I can handle being away from the kids now is knowing when I am home with bub #3 (yet to be conceived, by the way!) I will have one more stint as a SAHM. But I just KNOW that after a few months I will be dying to get back to work....

Sorry Artechim I didn't mean this post to be so preachy, but I am feeling a little philosophical tonight

[Phteven]

Rory, I'm not a Christian but I love that passage too.

[AnyDream]

Arte - yes I enjoy it...BUT only when I have an "outlet"

For me that has always meant at least half a day/week of 'me time' while my DD(s) have been in FDC. At times it has meant classes (eg meditation, first aid, candle making, languages, poetry-writing !!!), at times it has meant study (night courses/correspondence), and at times it has been indulging my love of cinema - in the day time by myself! Sometimes just getting out for an hour of op-shopping or the chance to sit and read a newspaper (in peace for once) in a cafe with a hot (for once) coffee is all it takes. Would you consider occasional care or even home-based care in order to give yourself an out?

I literally lasted 8 months with DD1 before the cabin fever well and truly set in. Like you we'd moved and so my social networks were thin on the ground. One or two truly entertaining like-minded girlfriends can make all the difference. I have those now but didn't then. In fact it was the isolation that I found the hardest. On the upside, the kids tend to get a little more interested in stuff and can be entertained for longer with activities as they get a little older, which means you can do other things (always in short spurts LOL).

[CrazyLady]

I wish i had time to get bored! My baby doesn't sleep at all during the day so i'm lucky if i can go to the loo in peace.

I do agree with the brain drain thing though. sometimes the lack of workmates/adult conversation makes me feel a little stupid sometimes.

[BekZ]

I don't get bored either..just lonely and I feel like a slave at times.

[CrazyLady]

I don't get bored either..just lonely and I feel like a slave at times.

Same! I had a good tantrum last week when my partner came home to a spotless house and said that he was too tired to bath the baby while i was cooking dinner because he "worked" all day!

[skeetaboat]

There are things I love.. and things I hate.

I love: being able to get up and start the day slowly instead of rushing out the door; lying in bed with DS stroking my face in the morning before getting up; being able to do whatever I would like to do with the day (well, within the bounds of what is possible with kids in tow); not having to force my body into a 9-5 routine; not having to sit in traffic for ages; being able to spend heaps of time with my kids and watching them grow and change; the close relationship I have with my kids; having time to catch up with friends, see my mum, etc;

I hate: the loneliness; the lack of motivation to get outside which overcomes me often; not being able to easily get in the car and nip to the shops if need be; struggling to get time for a shower; feeling guilty that I don't have the emotional energy to be engaged with the kids as much as I should/they want; the lack of leave entitlements!!; the groundhog day feeling; not being able to do anything *(eg cooking, gardening) without little hands (and little tantrums) wanting to get involved; that it takes sooooooooooooooooo long to get everyone ready and out of the house when I do want to do something/go somewhere.

I'm sure there's more but that's all I can think of right now