I discipline WAY different to my mother. My mother has a short temper and her way of discipling was to smack or "flog" us. I use smacking as a last resort. My mother seems to think (ofcourse ) that I don't smack Briley enough!
She has on a few occasions smacked the girls and I have just let it slide with a stern look. But she knows that if I would go off at her if she went too far.
As for exMIL, she is a bit like me when it comes to disciplining but has also smacked the girls. I especially don't like it when she smacked them but again, I let it slide.
So, do you let your Mother/MIL smack your children?
My MIL or mother never have smacked my children. Ive never really been around MIL long enough for the girls to misbehave, thus seeing her reaction. But my gut says no, she wouldnt smack.
My mum has looked after the girls on the odd occasion, maybe raised a stern voice now and then, but no, hasnt smacked my girls either.
no way! It is a total breach of trust in the eyes of the child. It is your job to protect them and that includes physical 'abuse' from family.
I don't smack my boys very often. Once in a blue moon and it's only been for serious things, like running on a road or touching the heater etc, but I would NEVER allow anyone else to smack them.
I was very rarly smacked as a child and if I was I KNEW that I have over stepped that line that pushed mum or dad to far. I will smack my kids if they are really out of line (and it would take alot to push me over I think) and if my mum or dad were looking after them and they did something out of line that I would smack them for then I would be ok with that.
Saying that I think my mum and dad are going to be the sort of Grandma and Grandad that will be the type to be wrapped around my kids fingers and they will get away with murder! Just they way it should be! hehehe
Absolutely not. The disciplining of my children is the business of myself and DH, not anyone else.
If it is regards to an incident when I am not present, my belief in my own situation (not anyone else's ) is that if child is not old enough to be told (and understand) "your mother/father will resolve this issue with you" then they are definitely not able to grasp why someone is smacking them.
This is my own opinion in regards to my own children.
I have a VERY strict rule on smacking. No one but DP or myself are to do it. I am not against smacking. But as a child was literally belted! Not saying I don't smack or judge anyone else for smacking though, but I tend to use it, like most people, as a last result. I would rather find alternatives. But if I ever EVER found out someone else had smacked my child I would be absolutely ropable, no matter how naughty she had been.
Im not too keen on anyone else smacking my child , if my mum is looking after DS i tell her to use time out .... however she is stubborn and a non believer in attachment parenting and i dont doubt for a second that ds has been smacked while under her care ... i dont think she would full on belt , just a smack on the bum ...
If the situation permits a smack ie: danger or misbehavior resulting in danger then id go as far as to say its OK for her to smack DS .. BUT if i were there with her , id rather myself discipline him ... usually we squabble about what needs a smack etc .. but in the end in public or at home I get down to his level and explain what/how/why and it usually helps avoid a situation where a smack would follow ...
so if it was my mum losing her temper and smacking him for her own justification then YES i would be livid . but if she has followed through with time out and has been told to stop and done all she can then id be OK with her giving him a smack ..
BUT then again hes always a perfect angel for my mum , and when she sends him back its usually me that gets left with the post oma's house withdrawals
Last edited by *charmalea*; April 22nd, 2009 at 03:08 PM.
Unfortunately DD never spent time alone with MIL (because I didn't trust FIL with DD AT ALL), but I know she wouldn't have smacked unless it was really serious.
DH and I are pretty lax about smacking, sometimes we do, sometimes we don't, and while DH and I agreed when DD was a newborn that *we* would be the only smackers, I don't mind too much if my mum gives her a tap on the backside when she's really acting out... There are a couple of times when mum has been here and DD has done something, and because mum's closer I say, 'Just give her a smack for that, please' but mum's a typical proud grandma - can barely lay a finger on her, so I don't think it worries DD at all when nanna smacks her lol... to me, it's not much of an issue if mum smacks DD when I'm not around, because mum doesn't like doing it (although she didn't seem to be bothered by belting my brother and I as kids!) and as she works with little kids, she has learned plenty of other methods of discipline that are probably just as, if not more, effective. I know she doesn't do it anywhere near as frequently or as hard as DH and I, so if DD behaves badly enough to get a smack from nanna, chances are it's better nanna was the one doling it out than me, or she would have copped it worse!
If anything, DH is the worst smacker out of us all, sometimes I give him a serve because he loses his temper and smacks DD too hard (I can't stand to see a red mark on her skin and DH absolutely cops it if he loses control enough to let it happen), or smacks her on the arm or back, where I know it *really* hurts, rather than on her upper thigh or across the back of the hand. So to me, DH's smacking is more of a worry than my mum's!
I dont smack and never would, so obviously I would not ever want anyone to smack my beautiful daughter. There are better methods for discipline and I do not feel physical punishment is the answer. My daughter is well behaved anyway and generally knows the limits, but when she crosses them she has to sit in time out, which she is happy to do. I would be absolutely horrified if someone else smacked my daughter. That person would not be left alone in the same room as my daughter any time soon. I would not under any circumstance "allow" someone else to smack her either.
Do you let your Mother/MIL smack your Children?
) that I don't smack Briley enough!
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