Unfortunately DD never spent time alone with MIL (because I didn't trust FIL with DD AT ALL), but I know she wouldn't have smacked unless it was really serious.
DH and I are pretty lax about smacking, sometimes we do, sometimes we don't, and while DH and I agreed when DD was a newborn that *we* would be the only smackers, I don't mind too much if my mum gives her a tap on the backside when she's really acting out... There are a couple of times when mum has been here and DD has done something, and because mum's closer I say, 'Just give her a smack for that, please' but mum's a typical proud grandma - can barely lay a finger on her, so I don't think it worries DD at all when nanna smacks her lol... to me, it's not much of an issue if mum smacks DD when I'm not around, because mum doesn't like doing it (although she didn't seem to be bothered by belting my brother and I as kids!) and as she works with little kids, she has learned plenty of other methods of discipline that are probably just as, if not more, effective. I know she doesn't do it anywhere near as frequently or as hard as DH and I, so if DD behaves badly enough to get a smack from nanna, chances are it's better nanna was the one doling it out than me, or she would have copped it worse!
If anything, DH is the worst smacker out of us all, sometimes I give him a serve because he loses his temper and smacks DD too hard (I can't stand to see a red mark on her skin and DH absolutely cops it if he loses control enough to let it happen), or smacks her on the arm or back, where I know it *really* hurts, rather than on her upper thigh or across the back of the hand. So to me, DH's smacking is more of a worry than my mum's!
my mother also has a short temper and my dad was like mum instead of my mother as she wasnt what you call a mum.... she has at time yelled and lost her cool with my children but noone other than me and their dad is to smack them ever i would go nuts.
Well, we don't smack. My MIL wont (doesn't) smack. I worry about my parents, not that we ever spend much time with them anyway but no it isn't acceptable for them to smack her at all. There would be hell to pay if they ever did.
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