Do you think having children and how many should be based on how much money you earn?

[*Elle*]

Bathsheba, its like you are reading my mind, I wish I could have said it that well, you said it perfectly and I couldnt agree more.

We are the same we value things differently, with my SIL she values her 'stuff' very highly and wants to live a life of holidaying and shopping, so for them having a big family is not suitable for the lifestyle they want to live, me I want a big family, I want family to come first and please dont take that the wrong way I value everyones opinions and beleifs we are all very different and thats what makes us interesting,

I am not one to really care alot if we dont have all the flashy furniture and cars etc, I am happy renting, I just like the bills to be paid and food on the table and thats about it,

I have been on both sides I had Peiter when we were dead broke, some weeks we couldnt afford nappies but had to find the money somewhere and it was really really hard on that side of it I would not wish that on anyone, it puts so much extra stress on you as a mum and just a person in general,

I think in one way finances are important in that you need to have enough to provide for your child but if that means going without new clothes each month or not shopping all the time etc then that is fine as I regard that as non nessesity, but having been in the position we were in when we first had Peiter it was not a nice feeling at all, and if we had have planned things it would have been very different ( he was a suprise bubba )

we are blessed now with DH working in a fantastic job with so much room to grow he is on a very high wage and we are in a postion to afford another child and save at the same time so we are lucky in that way now but having said that I dont think you have to have loads of money to have children.

My SIL would have meant me to take offence she is a know it all LOL and loves to be the first to say things iukwim, I was offended but not offended if that makes sence because I understand what kind of life is important to her and her DH, I dont judge her on that but its hard for her to understand how non important 'stuff' and material things are to me and DH, we have a crappy lounge and a banged up dining suite LOL but thats okay, we plan on getting something a little better once we have saved a little more, but in reality its ot something that bothers me alot, her house looks like a show home its beautiful, they are only renting but have spent thousands upon thousands on furniture etc but again I dont think badly of them because it has made them happy.

ETA Sherie I also feel the same as you we want 4 children for the same reason you said and I dont know if I can finish having my babies at 3 kwim so its on a we will wait and see basis LOL and yeah I had to laugh at her comment about the bank casue I know how unture that really is, she is a bit of a drama queen and loves to make things worse than they actually are hehe