I agree with TD ... i have a sister 9years older and even to this day she still treats me like i'm soooo much younger than her. We were never parallel on any of our roads in life ... eg, when i was in school she was in the workforce, when she was married i just started to date boyfriends ...when she had a mortgage i was renting ... when she had her 1st baby i was in a serious relationship ... when her son almost started secondary school i just had my 1st baby ... it goes on & on.
Only things we did about the same time was she got her drivers license when she was older & i younger ... and she travelled overseas for the 1st time in her 30's & i did younger in my 20's.
But i must admit our personalities are very different to each other ... and not much common interests ... so that probably wouldn't help in a very big way either and when i think of it probably is the main factor as to why we don't get along more over than an actual 9year age gap
My first three boys are 12,10 and 7 so relatively close in ages. We then decided to have Scout who is 6 years younger than my last and I have definately noticed the age gap.
It is not so much with the 7yr old at the moment but give it a few years when he is hitting the pre teen stage and Scout is about 4, wanting someone to play with its not going to happen.
My older two boys only have short stints of playing with him now so this is how I know what I have to look forward too.
Suckers for punishment though we decided to give Scout his own play mate. While I love having him home by himself during the day while the others are at school I dont think he is all that bothered by it, as he is so excited when his brothers get home.
It is harder when they are closer together but in our case I prefer it I think.
There is 8 years between my bro and I (he is 17) and we are really close...
The only time you really notice the difference is when the older one is a teenager and the younger wants them to do "kid" stuff....
I have one sister 10 years younger & one 4 1/2 years younger & am quite close to both, although I left home at 16 so wasn't with my youngest sister very long. I also have a brother who is 20 years younger than me (he is 4mths younger than my DS1!). Now that's a gap!
I wanted to have mine close together, DD1 & DS1 are 2 1/2 years apart... they don't really have much to do with each other though, they only really did when they were very young & before DS2 came along. I think gender has a bit to do with that... the 2 boys do more together (of course that means they argue more too! )
Now we have DD2, she is 7 years younger than DS2 and everybody of course adores her.. that is one benefit of a bit of a gap, much less rivalry & jealousy, they see her as a gift, not competition. And they are quite helpful to have around too
I think - just IMO - you are better off to work out when it suits you rather than worry about the gap. 5-6 years isn't too much, and as with my first two, even if you have them closer there's no guarantee they'll get on, kwim?
My brother is nearly 7 years older than me, my sister 4.5 years older than me. I hated it growing up, I was never allowed to play with them because I was too young and they didn't want to look out for me. They even left me wandering the streets of brisbane on holiday once when I was about.. 8 I think? They ran off and left me and I had totally no idea where I was so I sat in the gutter and bawled my eyes out They got into a heap of trouble for that though.. hehe
It was always like that growing up, so thats why I had my kids close together, so they would play with the same things, and one isn't too much older than the other one.
My brother and I get along good now (and I adore his wife!) but my sister and I have hardly anything to do with each other - but thats a personality thing - not an age thing
I guess it really does depend on the individual - so many factors to consider.
Going from personal expereince, my brother and I are 16 months apart - and were great mates growing up. My sister is 7 years younger than me and was excluded from many things we were able to do growing up. She still brings up her childhood memories of being spoken over and bullied, excluded and playing alone in her room. We feel terrible about it but, you just cant put an adults head on a child's shoulders. Its only now that she is in her 20's that I feel we can actually have a conversation on a similar level - iykwim..... however I'm sure the relationship will only strengthen with time.
So, for this reason and others, I don't want that for my children. I am also hoping to go back and study part-time - for my life's passion. However I weighed up my options/priorities some time ago and decided it would suit me best if I had my children close together in 'one hit' - (I am also very mindful of taking advantage of my fertility - I am in my late twenties, but many friends my age are now TTC and are finding it to be much more difficult than they imagined, some going down the assisted conception route etc), and that way I can get the whole night waking, toilet training, stay at home period over with in one fell swoop. Not to say that I don't enjoy this period - its wonderful, but my ability to study and work will be there later and for many years to come- my fertility will not. As I once heard someone say...."You can modify your life to work around your biology, but you cannot modify your biology to work around your life" - I think this is worth considering.
I guess what I keep telling myself is that, my patience will pay off- they are only little for so long, and once they are 'in the system' (school etc) they are on their way to becoming little adults and I am only going to get increased independence with time.
My brother is 2 years younger than me. We are pretty close. (SIL is great & we all get along really good, so it helps ) My sister is 6 years younger than me, 4 years younger than my brother.
TBH she's a PITA...but not because of her age. More because of her selfishness & immaturity. She's starting to get better, but turning the music up when my 2 week old baby just went to sleep in the same room, then telling me that I should go home is a bit much. Turning the TV up over mum & dad's conversation with another couple in the same room. Maybe ok if she was 6! Not 19!!
I decided on 3 years between mine coz MIL had 3 years between her youngest 2. OK for boy/girl, but my girls don't get along near as good! I hope they do when they are older.
5-6 years should be ok As everyone else has said, its more the personalities than anything.
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They got into a heap of trouble for that though.. hehe
) My sister is 6 years younger than me, 4 years younger than my brother.
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