expecting the kids to contribute

[Nelle]

I didn't ever really do much at home, and for a long time I was a crud housekeeper. I didn't realise until I became a SAHM and it became mostly my responsibility. I'm getting better, but dh has been so patient - he pulls his weight when I am, but understandably finds it a bit hard to be motivated when I am like 'ohhhh yeah well I have plenty of clean clothes so I didn't think to wash yours or the towels' or 'can't we just get pizza again?'

I totally agree with Pony, it's really hard when suddenly it's 'ready set GO have skills' and I was like 'errr'. It must be hard to parent though - we had to do chores as kids - we negotiated to do it for money, but if there wasn't anything I wanted to buy, I wouldn't do my chores and then someone would pick up the slack because the job needed to be done. But I wouldn't do the job because it needed to be done because I didn't see the need.

I wonder if it helps to get kids to help from a really young age, because then it's something they've always done? I also wonder if they hear me grumble about things, that they will think that it's a negative thing. My eldest LOVES doing the washing, he's just turned 3 and I reckon he could pretty much do it on his own. He's warming to cooking, he does like to sample.

[Fleur]

My guys were all happy to help at the age of 3 or 4.. once they were old enough that it was expected of them the novelty wore off

I do think it helps though for them to learn that it's just a part of life, kwim? You may not like it but it has to be done.

I grew up (until I was 12 anyway) in a family with 4 of us...2 working parents, just me & my sister & all the housework got done on the weekend. I had to do the dishes every night, but apart from that there just wasn't a lot of mess, or cleaning to be done (well that's my memory anyway). But I didn't have an example of things being done a bit every day. It took me years to work that out on my own!
When I moved up to live with mum there was just her & I & my other sister - & mum did everything pretty much. I mean I helped out with dishes & stuff but I never gained any understanding of what's involved in really looking after a house...

But then, I don't know if my kids do either though.
Maybe it's something that comes after you have your own home to look after...

[Roryrory]

My DH is one of four and says by the age of 8 he could cook a roast and a cake (without using a recipe!) for the family meal.

I, on the other hand, never even made my bed or washed clothes til after I left home (I'm an only child and my mother found it quicker to do everything for me, including dress me til the age of 6!!)

I think rather than have rigid rules about X meals per week I would get them involved from an early age and adapt their chores according to their other commitments. So a year 10 kid might cook 2 meals a week but a year 12 kid who actually studies and doesn't just moan about it gets let off cooking duty but still has to clean the bathroom once a week.

Lara I think your DH has the totally wrong idea thinking that getting kids to cook is giving you a "break" - he's obviously never cleaned up after an 8 year old has prepared a meal!!

[Nai]

I think it is part of being a responsible parent - you need to give them the life skills for when you are no longer there for them.

I always had to get everyone's breakfast ready and cook 1 meal a week when I was growing up. I also had other chores that I had to do around the place. My DD1 is already "helping" at meal times and she is getting used to tidying up and hanging out washing etc. It takes more time when she "helps" but in the long run it will pay off.